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smoothjones
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 9
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 Posted: Thu May 08, 2008 8:47 am Post subject: Adult ONLY reception at out of town wedding.? |
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| I'm confused. We were invited to an out of town wedding (flying, hotel all the goods need to be arranged) my best friend is in the wedding as well as her two daughters. The invitations came out yesterday and they say adult only reception on them. So my friend- who is in the wedding-called the bride and said is that for all children? and she said yes, all.So now my friend is having her mother come down, which is another plane ticket, another hotel room and food costs so that she can watch the girls after the ceremony.Is it just me, or is this extremely rude? I would think that the bride would have told my friend this before she asked her two daughters to be in the wedding, no? |
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ScottA
Joined: 24 Jan 2008
Posts: 5
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| Posted: Thu May 08, 2008 9:27 am Post subject: Adult ONLY reception at out of town wedding.? |
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| it's not really rude. Because they can't help what arrangements you need to make. the wedding is optional. don't look at it from a negative point of view. kids are extra plates they have to pay for and accomodate as well. usually kids from the bridal party are admitted, because THAT"S a little weird, to make them be there for the half hour ceremony and send them on their way... maybe they really want to let loose, and don't want other people's children in the mix. somepeople don't like kids. it's not like she did it with you DIRECTLY in mind, it's all kids like your friend said... don't take it personally - just like she shouldn't take it personally if you then choose not to attend! |
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SunElaine
Joined: 23 Mar 2008
Posts: 3
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| Posted: Thu May 08, 2008 10:07 am Post subject: Adult ONLY reception at out of town wedding.? |
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| It is rude especially if they are IN the wedding. I've been to many adult only receptions but the bride's / groom's nieces/ nephews and children in the wedding were definitely present. |
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Taigragoria
Joined: 31 Jan 2008
Posts: 2
Location: Nigeria
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| Posted: Thu May 08, 2008 10:47 am Post subject: Adult ONLY reception at out of town wedding.? |
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| I am confused, not even the little flower girls are allowed to attend the reception? In that case most people would provide some kind of daycare for the children. I would think that if she invited them to be in the wedding, but is not allowing them at the reception (which I think is kind of crappy) then the BRIDE should arrange some kind of childcare at the reception site so that mom and dad can have a good time, and not worry about the kids all night! |
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sytoolyom
Joined: 30 Oct 2007
Posts: 42
Location: Canada
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| Posted: Thu May 08, 2008 11:27 am Post subject: Adult ONLY reception at out of town wedding.? |
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| Some people think adults only receptions are ok. Some don't.My wedding is a destination wedding and I am inviting families-for that reason. Some of my guests won't be able to go if they don't bring their children. I have had several guests tell me, however, that they plan on leaving kids at home with a sitter.I anticipate having about 10 kids at wedding.Edit: I just reread question. Okay, her not having the children in the wedding at reception is ridiculous and rude. Sorry. |
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smckech1972
Joined: 16 Jan 2008
Posts: 3
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| Posted: Thu May 08, 2008 12:07 pm Post subject: Adult ONLY reception at out of town wedding.? |
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| wow that's nuts!it would be bad enough if she said no kids when people are just coming in from out of town (sometimes you can't leave your kids behind!) but to say your children have to come to the wedding but can't stay for the reception? that's nuts!she really should make an exception for kids that are in the wedding - she shouldn't be doing anything at the reception that kids shouldn't be around for anyway! |
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TerQueeroofv
Joined: 07 Mar 2008
Posts: 4
Location: World
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| Posted: Thu May 08, 2008 12:47 pm Post subject: Adult ONLY reception at out of town wedding.? |
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| Not your descision, but rude. Especially if there were children in the wedding party and a lot of children at the wedding and in the family. "Adults only" is for the bachelorette and bachelor parties. |
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Shuga
Joined: 26 Apr 2008
Posts: 3
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| Posted: Thu May 08, 2008 1:27 pm Post subject: Adult ONLY reception at out of town wedding.? |
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| Yes, I think it's very rude. There's no reason that another person should have to fly out there to watch the children. If she wanted no children at the reception, she shouldn't have had children in the wedding party. |
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soccer4ever
Joined: 02 Dec 2007
Posts: 16
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| Posted: Thu May 08, 2008 2:07 pm Post subject: Adult ONLY reception at out of town wedding.? |
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| that is crazy, if the little girls are in the wedding then they should be at the reception. that woman needs to get off her high-horse. |
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strangestorm_0001
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 7
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| Posted: Thu May 08, 2008 2:47 pm Post subject: Adult ONLY reception at out of town wedding.? |
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| This question actually crops up often, and the answers are always varied. Etiquette-wise, it could go both ways. I would consider it rude only if the bride is not providing a nanny, or sitter for the children of couples who have to fly in to attend the wedding, or have to drive enough of a distance that they need to spend the night. The bride should have informed your friend that the reception would be adults only before asking her daughters to be in the wedding. That, I'll admit was rude of her. She's even ruder if she is not providing a sitter or nanny for the reception. |
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sami_pickle_68465
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 11
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| Posted: Thu May 08, 2008 3:27 pm Post subject: Adult ONLY reception at out of town wedding.? |
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| I think adults-only receptions are somewhat rude in general. I view weddings as less of a party and more of a joining of families. I think the bride/groom should offer arrangements (hiring or supplying a babysitter or setting up a "kids only" room) for people traveling with children. |
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silverfox9605
Joined: 13 Dec 2007
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Thu May 08, 2008 4:07 pm Post subject: Adult ONLY reception at out of town wedding.? |
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| That's very strange. 2 of my 4 kids were in a wedding last year, but all of our kids were invited to the reception even though no other kids were present. Sometimes, though, I think brides can get very caught up in "their" day and all sensibility goes out the window!! Especially when you don't have any kids, it's hard to understand that they don't just disappear when you're done with them being cute. I'd suggest that your friend ask the bride about arranging a babysitter for her kids if they are not allowed to the reception. That only seems fair. It seems kind of silly for them to have to pay for her mom to go to. Brides! |
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SassyBride
Joined: 25 Feb 2008
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Thu May 08, 2008 4:47 pm Post subject: Adult ONLY reception at out of town wedding.? |
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| Okay people really irk me with all the restrictions they put on people when it comes to these Damn weddings...Ok my rant!Now to answer the question...Heck yeah that was rude. Now thats simply rude for the woman who has two daughters in the wedding to have to go through all that trouble...I am sorry but the bride would have to acquiesce. The nerve to ask me to jump through hoops to be in the wedding and now my two daughters cant come to the reception....WTF? |
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Soon-to-beMrsBlair3
Joined: 18 Mar 2008
Posts: 3
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| Posted: Thu May 08, 2008 5:27 pm Post subject: Adult ONLY reception at out of town wedding.? |
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| its different .. ok .. rude but the mom of the two girls can forgo the reception and save on mom coming also. just a thought .. |
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Steph2582
Joined: 12 Feb 2008
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Thu May 08, 2008 6:07 pm Post subject: Adult ONLY reception at out of town wedding.? |
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| Yes. She should have known before hand. I had an adults only wedding because first it was on a boat and second my children were the ring bearer and flower girl and I wanted them to be the center of attention as well. I had a lot of family fights about this because my cousins children are not very well behaved and it was also a saftey issue. I told her before I asked her to be in the wedding (we had a two year engagement) so she would have more than enough time. But to expect them to be in the wedding and then leave that seems very ridiculous! |
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