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SpecialK
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 23
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 Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 6:49 pm Post subject: Am I wrong for not wanting to start off our marriage broke? |
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| Finally we have gotten engaged and set a wedding date for early fall 2008. I work in Pa, we will eventually reside in SC. I don't want to leave until I have saved some money, and my daughter graduates high school in June. How can I make him understand that I want to give us a good financial start? It will be for eight months, and we visit now about once every two months. I would still keep the same pattern, but we would be starting off with about $3000 intead of a couple of hundred. I haven't secured employment there as of yet. |
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AlyssaM3568
Joined: 20 Mar 2008
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 8:22 pm Post subject: Am I wrong for not wanting to start off our marriage broke? |
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| stay and make some money, but i hardly think $3000 is any kind of nest egg |
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TRUTHHURTSOOOK
Joined: 20 Mar 2008
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 9:56 pm Post subject: Am I wrong for not wanting to start off our marriage broke? |
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| Marriage doesn't work if you are soul mates and rich!!!! You better make sure you have more than $3000 dollars. GOOD LUCK!!! |
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abc2798
Joined: 20 Mar 2008
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 11:29 pm Post subject: Am I wrong for not wanting to start off our marriage broke? |
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| more importantly than making him understand you want to give both of you a good financial start is to make him understand you want to wait until your daughter graduates from her high school and goes on to college.........and frankly, if he really loved you, you wouldn't have to make him understand....he already would |
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PrincessCaysBride
Joined: 21 Mar 2008
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 1:02 am Post subject: Am I wrong for not wanting to start off our marriage broke? |
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| Really that is nothing when it comes to debt these days. Our student loans combined are around 75,000 right now yet we are getting married. Waiting till June is understandable for your daughters sake. I would not however decide on postponing the wedding for some debt. |
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thinkpinkpunkrock7496
Joined: 21 Mar 2008
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 2:36 am Post subject: Am I wrong for not wanting to start off our marriage broke? |
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| Stay and make some more money first. As much as people want to chant 'money isn't that important' actually it is. The number one thing that married couples fight about and divorce over is money. (and its not usually because they have millions) its because they don't have enough. Think to your future and get yourself secured first. Best of luck. |
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rtfm
Joined: 21 Mar 2008
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 4:09 am Post subject: Am I wrong for not wanting to start off our marriage broke? |
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| The money should be unimportant. The part I can't understand is how could you possibly be thinking of uprooting your daughter in her senior year of high school? *She* should be your number one priority for the next year. If your man is the right one for you, he'll wait. (Or if he really wants to be married in the fall, then he can move up and live with you and your daughter for the rest of that school year.)If you think saving $3000 is important enough to postpone a wedding date, though ... you may want to seriously rethink *all* of your priorities. |
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torn0325
Joined: 21 Mar 2008
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 5:42 am Post subject: Am I wrong for not wanting to start off our marriage broke? |
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| I would at least wait to move until you secure a job there. But it is hard to have a long distance marriage, so I wouldn't wait longer than you have to. |
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Fergy
Joined: 21 Mar 2008
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 7:15 am Post subject: Am I wrong for not wanting to start off our marriage broke? |
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| No you are not wrong but is that the real reason and only reason? |
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Friendly
Joined: 21 Mar 2008
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 8:49 am Post subject: Am I wrong for not wanting to start off our marriage broke? |
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| Nope there is nothing wrong with it at all. But I have to say this, that when both people are on the same accord it works out. So I would really sit down and talk it all out the next time he comes out and compromise in what you need to do in order for you too get to where both of you want to be. I understand about your daughter graduating that shouldn't even be an issue because education is very important and well he should understand that. If me and my husband would have waited for at least a month or two we would have been more financially inclined than we were when we got married, but he was ready and so was I and we have been in some situations that keep us from marrying and well we didn't want to wait any longer. We both said well what we don't have in substance we will have in faith and well its been working for us. I know that we don't have all that we want, but we have what we need. We struggle, but we are making progress. We've been together for almost 10 years and that's all that matters to us. Not everyone is the same just know that and if he really loves you he will see your side, but don't forget to see his. Communication is very important so start there. It's more important than money anyday. But nope you aren't wrong. There are more marriages that break up from financial hardships than infidelity. So, you are smart to think about that. I pray that all works out for you. |
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nolongerasadmommy
Joined: 21 Mar 2008
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 10:22 am Post subject: Am I wrong for not wanting to start off our marriage broke? |
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| just make some money for now and then think about marriage. |
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GoneToTheSpa
Joined: 21 Mar 2008
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 11:55 am Post subject: Am I wrong for not wanting to start off our marriage broke? |
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| no |
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kittykatsback8123
Joined: 21 Mar 2008
Posts: 3
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| Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 1:28 pm Post subject: Am I wrong for not wanting to start off our marriage broke? |
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| I agree, why wouldn't sticking around for your daughter to finish high school be enough reason to wait?Sorry but this is why these internet-based desperation marriages rarely work out. You are already trying to change your life and your daughter's because you are so desperate to remarry. Let me guess, you are probably paying a bulk of the wedding and establishment expenses. |
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stew
Joined: 21 Mar 2008
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 3:02 pm Post subject: Am I wrong for not wanting to start off our marriage broke? |
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| i think it is very wise to establish yourselves financially before getting married as long as you are not just using that as an excuse. |
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