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infurrigh
Joined: 01 Oct 2007
Posts: 22
Location: Egypt
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 Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2008 1:17 pm Post subject: Am I wrong not to want to get married with my sister getting |
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| So you're getting married. Does that give you the right to own the entire year? You should be glad she didn't plan it before yours or for the few weeks immediately before or after. If your family won't be able to afford to come to both weddings 2 months apart, what makes you think that a few months will make any difference? Should your sister wait YEARS to get married so your out of town family can attend both weddings? It never ceases to amaze me how brides can get SO worked up over someone getting married in (GASP) the same month, or even (HORROR) the same year. Invite who you are going to invite and whoever shows, shows. If they have to choose, they have to choose. Just because YOU'RE getting married, doesn't mean that everyone else has to bow down to your wants and needs. You are not the only bride on the planet, you know. Here she comes, Bridezilla!! |
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Inferno13
Joined: 31 Jan 2008
Posts: 33
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| Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2008 1:39 pm Post subject: Am I wrong not to want to get married with my sister getting |
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| Maybe you should postpone your wedding one more year. That way you can save up the money and not go into debt. Being the other sister is favored, she will probably get what she wants and you will probably resent her for a long time. |
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Indigo2114
Joined: 12 Feb 2008
Posts: 26
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| Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2008 2:01 pm Post subject: Am I wrong not to want to get married with my sister getting |
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| This is hilarious. Yesterday I was in the hospital with my best friend who is getting married in November. We were chatting, trying to get her mind off of being in a hospital, and I mentioned my boyfriend’s genius (so he says) plan to want to conceive a child in April so that he/she is born in January (we were both born in January). I guess she though I meant April of next year so she immediately gets up and says “So what, you’re going to get married a month after me?!?!?!” LMAOI completely understand with not wanting to have someone steal your spotlight and I don’t think it makes you a bad person. On the contrary, I think your sister should have been a little bit more considerate and let you have your time. If you are worried about finances, then I think you should talk to your parents and tell them your frustration. IF she had gotten married next year, they would have given her the money she was entitled to so it should be any different if its two months later. You can also work out a deal with your sister where you can have your wedding and she can do a mini-reception a few days later (while on your honeymoon) with the extended family that won’t be able to go to her wedding. I wish you the best. |
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Indigo
Joined: 19 Jun 2007
Posts: 24
Location: Pretoria, South Africa
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| Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2008 2:22 pm Post subject: Am I wrong not to want to get married with my sister getting |
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| just elope -- problem solved |
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infurrigh
Joined: 01 Oct 2007
Posts: 22
Location: Egypt
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| Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2008 2:44 pm Post subject: Am I wrong not to want to get married with my sister getting |
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| It is a shame that your sister felt she had to pick a date so near yours. I know it makes you feel as if she is taking away from your spotlight and that is hard. Especially if the only reason she gave you is that she is afraid she will not be strong enough to resist sexual temptation if she waits. That makes her sound very selfish to me.There is no answer for your dilemma. You can't force her to change her date or make her see how her actions are affecting you. You will have to be the stronger one and remember how much you love your sister and your family.Maybe you should re-think your plans for your wedding and keep it small enough so that if you are forced to pay for it mostly yourself then it won't leave you in debt forever. SHe will have to do the same thing for her wedding.Do yourself a favor and don't tell her how you feel but sit and talk with your mother and tell her how violated you feel. Let her know you understand that they love both of you and that you don't want her to take sides but that you needed someone to confide in. Be honest with her and then let it go.Let it go so it does not fester in you and ruin what should be the happiest time in your life. You only have one family so you don't want to alienate them over your weddings. Try and be happy for your sister and just move on.The marriage itself is more inportant than the wedding and anything you plan will be memorable.Good Luck |
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INFAMOUS420
Joined: 15 Jan 2008
Posts: 17
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| Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2008 3:06 pm Post subject: Am I wrong not to want to get married with my sister getting |
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| I'm sorry, but it sounds like everyone here, with the exception of your parents, is being a bit selfish. If your sister wants to get married so soon, just so she can experience the pleasures of the flesh, maybe she should think about eloping. I admire your parents for sticking to their guns, but you're also projecting your expectations of who will or should attend your wedding, based on your feelings of resentment for your sister. Could that possibly be a bit of greed and fear that your sister may horn in on your cut of the wedding loot from extended family who cannot afford to attend both weddings?Just like with Christmas, I cannot believe how many people get caught up in the bravado of wedding planning without focusing on the real meaning behind the weddings themselves.Granted, this is supposed to be your "special day" but it seems as if you think that gives you dibs on the rest of 2008, as well. |
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Ingececycle
Joined: 13 Nov 2007
Posts: 24
Location: MA
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| Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2008 3:27 pm Post subject: Am I wrong not to want to get married with my sister getting |
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| it took a great deal of reading to get to the most honest part of your query - you're afraid your sister getting married will chop your expectation of gifts in half as well as substantially cut down on the money your parents will give you for your wedding. you should be ashamed of yourself, first of all for worrying more about money than your sister's happiness, secondly for telling us your sister is afraid she won't wait for her wedding night - i assume you are hoping to give your sister a black mark in our opinions.you don't want to go into debt for your wedding the answer is simple - scale back! funny how when its your parent's money you don't have a care in the world about what you are spending but all of a sudden it may be your money and you are worried. i am sorry but you sound like a selfish little girl from where i am sitting! good luck with it all! and i hope as you mature you will become a kinder person. |
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Indie
Joined: 27 Dec 2007
Posts: 20
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| Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2008 3:49 pm Post subject: Am I wrong not to want to get married with my sister getting |
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| is there any way you both could have the same wedding day? or does that horrify you? you should ask this in the wedding section, but i feel for you. i could tell you it was horrible for your sister to do this, and it creates a horrible problem for a lot of family, money, travel, excitement, it is all diluted and torn in two directions. and obviously your mother should have insisted she wait a to do hers a year after yours. it is unfair to you. i am on your side. so, what to do. have your wedding, and know that most people will feel the same way i do, that your sister is way out of line and they will come to your wedding and pretty much ignore hers. or, have both your weddings on the same day and know you are a saint for doing this so generously. you sound like a very nice smart person, and i wish you well. as a parent i would like you to know that it is not only your sister who concerns me, it is the position of your parents who would allow this, and, would not reassure you that they are still supporting your wedding in the same fashion they were before your sister piped up. i want you to know i would never do that if you were my daughter,. i would not let a second daughter do this to you, your parents are not wise to not be firm with her, this is the kind of thing that dooms family relationships for decades, believe me. so, you could talk to your parents about this. good luck to you, no matter what happens, take the high road. it will serve you well in your future. people like your sister who are selfish and self absorbed do not tend to do as well in life. |
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indyprincipessa
Joined: 27 Dec 2007
Posts: 31
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| Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2008 4:11 pm Post subject: Am I wrong not to want to get married with my sister getting |
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| My brother got married the same year as me. But here's the difference: we made sure that family that lived far away knew that we would not be offended if they made one wedding or the other - or neither, since to me it's a lot to ask that people travel from the east coast to the west coast for a wedding. We're a very close-knit family that communicates - everyone talked and divvied up who was going to which wedding, and feelings weren't hurt. I was just happy and thrilled that people traveled from out of state to see me! We did every thing we could to accommodate them. |
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Ingececycle
Joined: 13 Nov 2007
Posts: 24
Location: MA
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| Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2008 4:32 pm Post subject: Am I wrong not to want to get married with my sister getting |
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| Stop worrying about it. Be thankful that she was respectful enough to plan it AFTER yours, and willing to probably sacrafice having a lot of family there. She's clearly more concerned about the marriage part of it, than the fairytale part of it. I can understand being slightly annoyed, but what can you do?? And plus, if there is family that makes it to hers and not yours, you'll see them at her reception. And same goes for her. As for not being able to afford it without parents help, then you should scale it down a bit. Never rely on anyone to make something happen for you, parents or not. Anything could happen between now and then. Focus on your marriage, not just one day of your life. In the end all that matters is that you and your fiance show up that day and leave as husband and wife. |
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Incarappy
Joined: 12 Feb 2008
Posts: 25
Location: Marshall Islands
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| Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2008 4:54 pm Post subject: Am I wrong not to want to get married with my sister getting |
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| Your sister would be way ahead if she would put her wedding off until the following year. If she has to have sex at least coaxher and her finance into protective sex by condoms so shewould further be embarrassed. Your parents would be smart to get into this family debate and tell your sister that financially they would be better off if she could wait. Plus, they could do more for her if she indeed were to wait.She knew this before they even got engaged. She is not being fair with the family clan. |
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Indigo2114
Joined: 12 Feb 2008
Posts: 26
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| Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2008 5:16 pm Post subject: Am I wrong not to want to get married with my sister getting |
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| sorry to say but i think that u are just upset that you will no longer be the center of attention |
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