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Ara575698
Joined: 11 Mar 2008
Posts: 2
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 Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2008 3:25 pm Post subject: anxiety is killing me!! will he "rubberband" and come back? |
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| I hate how I can't deal with stress,anxiety and uncertainty!!got into huge fight w/bf of 3 years over me borrowing money last Fri (I asked at last second and it wasn't the first time-he didnt want to help me but ended up doing so eventhough he wanted to buy an expensive tool he'd been saving up for). told me he needed to be left alone after we got back from bank (but did tell me nothing was my fault-i dont do it on purpose and that he loves me). i left and contacted him only to tell him i'd signed up for classes at church to come up w/a budget and that i was going to start working overtime. no responsegot a response this past Wed after I stopped by his house (to get my work clothes-we don't live together yet but i'm only at my place 4 days a month) and noticed he had put away the air mattress my oldest daughter sleeps on when we stay there (i have 3 girls that he loves). all of our pictures were still up everywhere though. i emailed him scared to death it was over...he emailed back saying "I've read all of your emails. I need some time to myself. It's best if you just stay away for awhile. Love, Me"he didnt ask me to come get my things (or my cat who has been living with him for 6 months) and didnt ask for my key back. I love him dearly and have since gone to the state dpt for help with my groceries, health insurance for the kids (i'm paying now but it's too much), and with back child support i'm owed. I also have read articles on why men retreat and go into their "caves" which is what he is doing. so you think he's going to break up with me-we've talked about marriage in future and i know he loves me and the kids (he wouldnt have signed the email "love, me" otherwise-he would just use his name.is he just taking some time to calm down? the stress and anxiety along w/missing him is killing me!!!i DO work full time (36 hours a week) at night in a hospital. I make about 32k a year but w/3 kids it can get hard. my youngest daughter's dad is disabled so doesn't have to pay me child support. |
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amdogodoz
Joined: 28 Sep 2007
Posts: 3
Location: USA
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| Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2008 8:13 pm Post subject: anxiety is killing me!! will he "rubberband" and come back? |
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| Why don't you earn your own money ? |
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etettastempo
Joined: 06 Mar 2008
Posts: 4
Location: World
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| Posted: Fri Apr 18, 2008 1:01 am Post subject: anxiety is killing me!! will he "rubberband" and come back? |
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| no one here can answer that question for you - however, the fact you are obsessing over this might indicate something you haven't thought about - is there a chance he feels not only concerned about your financial stability, but that you are also being too clingy, needy and smothering him? You can't let your relationship take over your life. You not only need to prove to him you can get your $$ in order - but you are also going to have to prove you aren't so unstable in other areas as well...you might want to see if the church also has a counselor you can talk to about self esteem issues. |
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doobie7250585
Joined: 27 Dec 2007
Posts: 3
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| Posted: Fri Apr 18, 2008 5:49 am Post subject: anxiety is killing me!! will he "rubberband" and come back? |
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| Dear..Dont stress over it. What ever happens is going to happen. If he needs time, then give it to him. Dont force him to feel something thats not in him right now or its going to make your situation worse. I know the "unknown" has really got your stomach turning but I dont think hes ready to call it quits. If he was that upset with you your pictures would have been the first thing to go, not an airmattress!! If you need to contact him I would only do so to ask him how hes doing and if its ok for you to come and get your things, not that you want to remove all of you from his life but you need your clothes etc etc. Good luck hope this helps and go to bed dear!! |
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celebrityiirealm
Joined: 08 Mar 2008
Posts: 5
Location: US
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| Posted: Fri Apr 18, 2008 10:37 am Post subject: anxiety is killing me!! will he "rubberband" and come back? |
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| Get more information about some ways to overcome your fear, anxiety and phobia at my profile. |
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Elusion805
Joined: 12 Feb 2008
Posts: 3
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| Posted: Fri Apr 18, 2008 3:25 pm Post subject: anxiety is killing me!! will he "rubberband" and come back? |
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| I feel that you need to look at you first before you can look at the relationship. I know that sounds harsh and its not meant to but you obviously have lots of issues going on with you first. You need to be strong in yourself first and foremost for any sort of relationship to survive. Concentrate on you and your children and get all the support you can with the day to day running of your life. Back off totally from him. I know much easier said than done but all you will do is push him further away with your current frame of mind. You sound very much like I did several yrs ago. I went through a very tough divorce but then was dreadful in subsequent relationships I suppose I needed someone to look after me and my daughter. I needed to get stronger in me first before I could enter a relationship on an equal footing. It wasn't about the money it was about how I valued me. Hope that helps and take care |
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