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Pruwljakovuch
Joined: 30 Nov 2007
Posts: 9
Location: USA
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 Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:03 am Post subject: Bridal gift? |
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| I've been told that it is traditional that the bridesmaids get together and give the bride a "bridal gift" (some pretty jewelry or something... similar to an attendant gift). I have two questions about this. One, is this really a necessary tradition? I'm the MOH... and actually the only bridesmaid so the shower and bachelorette have about cleaned my bank acct (as well as dress, shoes, hair, make-up, etc...) I hate to sound like a cheap-skate, but I'm broke.Two, is this gift given at the reception dinner after the attendant gifts, or is it given before the wedding when everyone is getting ready?Help! |
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Ricardo3984
Joined: 31 Jan 2008
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:40 am Post subject: Bridal gift? |
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| microwave! you cant go wrong with a microwave! |
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quietgirl
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 5
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| Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 6:17 am Post subject: Bridal gift? |
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| i've actually never heard of this because typically the bridesmaids host the shower and give a gift there and at the wedding. i wouldn't think you would have to do anything else! you've already done a lot! best wishes |
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Reeslyopi
Joined: 05 Jun 2007
Posts: 5
Location: Washington
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| Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 6:54 am Post subject: Bridal gift? |
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| Wow. You could get her a nice card and enclose a poem. Offer a favor of some kind. I think you should do something but it need not require you to spend any money. Something from the heart. You could offer to bake her something in the future.edit: My bridesmaids gave me individual gifts and they were the other gifts. I gave them individual gifts. I think I gave it to them after the rehearsal dinner. |
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ramasanna
Joined: 11 Nov 2007
Posts: 5
Location: USA
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| Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 7:31 am Post subject: Bridal gift? |
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| Oh Lannan, I feel your pain. And, no, you are NOT a cheapskate. I think it is absolutely terrible that you were financially responsible for both the shower and bachelorette party, AND had to spend quite a bit of money on your outfit. This MOH role seems almost like a punishment than an honor. I would say you have given enough. And, enough is enough!!! Perhaps, buy the bride a small gift, and give it to her at her wedding reception. And, let this be a message to all the BRIDES out there. This is your wedding, right? So, you should not expect the MOH to bear so much financial responsibility for your party. She can arrange things, do extra chores, but to expect her to lay out so much of her own money for your parties is totally ridiculous. What ever happened to the days when the bride and groom received a feather quilt and a goose dinner, and people danced until the wee hours of the night, and that was it. |
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SammieG
Joined: 27 Mar 2008
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 8:07 am Post subject: Bridal gift? |
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| It is a nice gesture, most traditional weddings do this.You may like to all contribute to a beautiful flower arrangement delivered to the reception with a large vase that they will always have. Some bridal parties have organised a puppy delivered to the reception, you can get together and brainstorm some great ideas, possibly something that the couple can use or have always wanted.If it is just from the bridesmaids to the bride, you can present the gift her at home whilst the camera and video man are filming.Personally, it is nicer contributed from the whole bridal party delivered to the reception.I believe you mentioned you are the only one. Organise a surprise for them with the best man. |
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Robin
Joined: 02 Mar 2008
Posts: 5
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| Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 8:44 am Post subject: Bridal gift? |
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| I've never heard of that tradition, so in my opinion, you've done more than enough as a MOH. |
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PrettyGirl
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 9:21 am Post subject: Bridal gift? |
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| If a "tradition" or "rule" requires that you BUY something, then chances are that the whole thing is a fabrication of The Wedding Industry. Within my own living memory the duties of bridesmaids were to give of their time and effort, NOT hosting numerous auxillary parties and buying, buying, buying ever more stuff. I'd skip the gift -- you've already done enough. If you should receive some extraordinary gift from the bride between now and the honeymoon, you can always do something lovely to 'even things up' after the honeymoon. For instance you can write 'on behalf of' thank you letters.Dear Mr & Mrs Stone, Wilma asked to tell you how thrilled she is with the Bronto-Burger Griller. It's very convenient and she and Fred look forward to grilling burgers for you. Fred sends his love and Wilma asks for your "Bonkers Burgers" recipe. Yours truly, Betty Rubble (Wilma's Maid of Honor) |
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onelouder6877
Joined: 11 Mar 2008
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 9:58 am Post subject: Bridal gift? |
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Hi Lannan. It is tradition that the bridesmaids get the bride a gift, but it is not a tradition that is often followed, nor is it a tradition that needs to break the bank. One- It is not a necessary tradition, and I doubt that the bride will mind/care/notice if you all do not follow it. I imagine you are all each individually getting her shower gifts already, plus spending much money to support her (such as throwing the shower, which is often the gift itself). If you choose not to get her an additional gift as a group, don't worry about it! Two- The gift is given whenever the MOH & other attendants decide it to be most appropriate, which will depend on the gift. So, it can be at the rehearsal, immediately before the wedding, or any other time you/they determine to be appropriate. My matron of honor and two bridesmaids happened to all have money. As a group, they gave me my cake knife and matching toasting flutes at the shower, and my garter at the bachelorette party. :)Here are some other cute ideas that wouldn't cost much (depending on how many girls), if you decide to give a gift:Get a plain white shirt from Target, and then iron-on "bride" rhinestones from Michael's and make it for her. Total cost: $15. Get some cute flip flops for her honeymoon. Total cost: $12Get her a book, like "Chicken Soup for the Bride's Soul," or something like that. Total cost: $20. Frame a cute sheet of "well wishes." Have each girl write out a small wish for the bride and groom's happiness all on the same sheet of paper. Total cost: $10. Have the bride's mother, grandmother, and each bridesmaid contribute a favorite recipe or two, and make a cookbook from the heart. To have it bound, it shouldn't cost more than $7. Good luck.  |
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ning-nong
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 17
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| Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 10:35 am Post subject: Bridal gift? |
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| I have never heard of that and have been in many, many weddings. You have given quite a bit already. I'm sure your friend is not expecting another gift in addition to a shower, a bachelorette party, gifts at each and a wedding gift. It's not being cheap, it's being practical. Just because it was supposedly done in the past, doesn't mean that "tradition" still stands up today. It was tradition that the bride stay a virgin until marriage and that the bridal sheets were put out on display to prove that she was in fact a virgin. Is that tradition still in practice, God no! |
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raysor
Joined: 09 Mar 2008
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 11:12 am Post subject: Bridal gift? |
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| I've never heard of this and I am a bride. I always thought the shower and bachelorette party were the "gift" for the bride. I'm also sure you will take a gift to the wedding for the bride and groom. That should be MORE than enough!!! I wouldn't fret about it. You have done alot |
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PaolosKarlos
Joined: 16 May 2007
Posts: 4
Location: no
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| Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 11:49 am Post subject: Bridal gift? |
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| Dude, you're getting fleeced. If you can't afford all this stuff, then you don't have to do it.Also, I have never heard of this tradition. It seems HUGELY unnecessary. I've heard that brides give gifts to THEIR attendants and never the other way around. After how damn much I've spent on ugly dresses, boring bachelorette parties, and being unnecessarily fleeced by bridal showers, I would say a big "eff you" if anyone tried to sell me this "tradition." |
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rujeltaoser
Joined: 15 Mar 2008
Posts: 6
Location: USA
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| Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 12:26 pm Post subject: Bridal gift? |
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| I say buy a nice piece of lingerie could cost you as little as ten dollars at Conways, or surf the clearance section of the Victoria's Secret Website. You sound like a great MOH |
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OrisedaFiers
Joined: 26 Nov 2007
Posts: 1
Location: LT
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| Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 1:03 pm Post subject: Bridal gift? |
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| i've never heard of this! i don't think it's necessary at all. give what you can do... and considering your the only bridesmaid and paid for allll of that yourself, i don't think giving anything is really necessary... maybe something small that you can make or something meaningful... maybe a photo album or picture frame from something you guys did. |
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