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RK
Joined: 19 Mar 2008
Posts: 2
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 Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2008 10:37 pm Post subject: Confused with starting a new life.? |
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| So much is going on in my life. I am 21. I have known my boy friend since high school and we are planning to get married this coming May. We have also bought a brand new house in Texas. Since we don’t have money, my mother gave me over $40,000 for the down payment on the house that costs $215,000. My mom is also helping me with the wedding expenses.My boyfriend does not have a good credit score; hence our loan will not be approved. He has also maxed out on his credit cards. The loan agent asked if I can drop out my boy friend’s name from the loan but still keep the title of the house under both our names.When we move to Texas from California, we both will not have any jobs and very little money. This situation makes me all uncomfortable and confused. I do not talk to my mom about my boy friend’s situation. I never talk to my mom about anything relating to my life. We can’t talk and we can’t try. My mom and I are never close. I need adult minds for advice. Thank's. |
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AlyssaM5639
Joined: 20 Mar 2008
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 12:03 am Post subject: Confused with starting a new life.? |
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| pick someone with a better Beacon score next time |
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Conteplative
Joined: 20 Mar 2008
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 1:30 am Post subject: Confused with starting a new life.? |
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| I think the best thing you can do is talk to your mom trust me My mother and I have a rocky relationship but when something deep down in my heart is bothering me she is the first to give me the best advice.............. |
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kittykatsback
Joined: 20 Mar 2008
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 2:56 am Post subject: Confused with starting a new life.? |
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| You will be in foreclosure by the end of the year. Tell mom to keep your room as-is.If the loan is in your name, YOU will only get dinged.My GOD, is he that good in bed? Man I would avoid this money pit man like the PLAGUE! But then again, I AM an adult. |
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abc5243
Joined: 20 Mar 2008
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 4:23 am Post subject: Confused with starting a new life.? |
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| this situation should make you nervous....very nervous.........you need to tell your mom that your boyfriend/fiance/soon to be husband has crappy credit.....you know what....live by this...."If you can't tell your mom, then it's probably not the right thing to be doing" |
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Buddha_Ful
Joined: 20 Mar 2008
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 5:50 am Post subject: Confused with starting a new life.? |
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| That's a tough one, I would take his name out of the loan so that you can get approved and improve your credit when you pay it back. Your husband really needs to get his credit in order but do not crutch yours to help his. It will bring your credit score down. Keep doing what your doing and build your credit up more. Try your very best to get a job lined up for you when you get to Texas. Do everything in your power so that you are not as stressed. If you don't want to talk to your mom, talk to your man about this. A true test on the hardships that will come with your marriage. Don't forget to thank you mother for being awesome and helping you, even though you're not close with her. Congratulations on the wedding and good luck with everything! |
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thinkpinkpunkrock
Joined: 20 Mar 2008
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 7:16 am Post subject: Confused with starting a new life.? |
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| You're not going to want to hear this, but the last you need (or either of you need) is to be getting married. Money is the biggest problem between couples (lack of) and the number one reason for divorce. Your BF needs to clean up his credit and you both need to find secure jobs. Forget about the house, at your guys rate it will be foreclosed on within 6months. Find a low income apt. Rent for a year, save your money, pay off your debts. Realize that when you marry someone with major debt, it's going to become your debt, as his credit is going to affect each and everything you attempt to buy in credit or any loans you open as a couple. (ie. car loans, mortgage loans, home equity loans, personal loans) etc. Think with your head on this, not your heart. The love will always be there right? So get your finances in order first. |
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torn
Joined: 20 Mar 2008
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 8:43 am Post subject: Confused with starting a new life.? |
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| This is not the way to start out. You should not buy a house if you don't have much money, have a lot of debt and don't have jobs. How do you expect to pay a mortgage without a job? It's great that your mom is willing to help you out financially. I think you should put the money in the bank. Then find jobs in Texas before you buy a house. |
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dsexy
Joined: 20 Mar 2008
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 10:10 am Post subject: Confused with starting a new life.? |
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| for somebody who is not close to their mom and she is giving u $40,000 seems a little weird...and honestly u have to have jobs or else u home is going to get foreclosed and then u lose all of ur moms money...and ur bf needs to get his sh*t straight and pay off his debts. i do not think it is a good idea... u have to have jobs for when u go there that will pay u enough for ur mortgage, property tax, utilities, cable, if u have a car....car loan...insurance...gas.... maintaince....homeowner insurance...food....and everything included in daily living...its a lot and u should not make such a big commitment when u are not ready and have nothing set up |
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she_noir
Joined: 20 Mar 2008
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 11:36 am Post subject: Confused with starting a new life.? |
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| Try to talk to your Mom about it. It sounds like she's been really supportive in you getting married and that's great. Thing is, your boyfriend is rubbish at being good with money and you don't want to lose your home because of him. I think you should listen to the loan agent, if you want to still get married. You may lose a lot over love and really, at your young age, it may not be worth it.I hope things turn out for the best. Your Mom will help you decide and maybe you can form a bond over this. |
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silbernagelm
Joined: 20 Mar 2008
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 1:03 pm Post subject: Confused with starting a new life.? |
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| If your loan hasn't gone through.....stop....do not buy this house.The house payments on this house will be a major source of stress on you, your bf, and your relationship....then you may lose the house because you can't afford to pay the notes....thus you will lose your mom's 40, and your marriage.Don't buy a house without a job....move...get a job....get settled...then start looking for a house that will fall in your price range....Why live a stressful life...if you don't have to? |
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siggi
Joined: 20 Mar 2008
Posts: 3
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| Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 2:29 pm Post subject: Confused with starting a new life.? |
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| You and your Mom cant talk and cant try, but she read your mind so she gave you 40.000 Dollars ???? That dont make much sense...If she gives you that Money Im sure you should be able to talk to her and trust her to give you advice....When you and Husband to be move there you both need to get a Job asap..by the way ,you have Internet,how about looking for a Job online there for both of you ...Im kind of thinking you dont want to tell Mom because she gave you that Money and you worried she wont pay for the wedding expences once she find out what she gotten into with giving you so trusted that 40.000...It would make you look bad ,wouldnt it,knowing better and still doing it before securing yourself. Just try to get things right and both of you get things in order.....siggi |
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misskelleygirl
Joined: 20 Mar 2008
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 3:56 pm Post subject: Confused with starting a new life.? |
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Boy oh Boy...I am an adult (Is 38 considered so? LOL!), and I've got some sane advice for you.You're nervous...because your gut is telling you this isn't a good situation. And if I've learned anything in my life, it's to ultimately trust yourself. From these few paragraphs, you've described a sure-fail plan. And I hate to rain on the parade...but life is hard enough as it is. You're so young...and yes, I know...you've heard that enough already!Thankfully, you seem to have a good sense about you...It's never a good idea to bite off more than you can chew. You've got your entire life ahead of you...stay with the BF, but don't plunge into such trauma. Your 20s are about ENJOYING your youth! You know what you need to do...now you need to go forward and do it.  (Good Job!)-K |
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TrppleGld
Joined: 20 Mar 2008
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 5:23 pm Post subject: Confused with starting a new life.? |
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| I think it would be ok if you did that.. You just have to make sure that your both able to pay this Mortage..I say go for it..Congradulations! |
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heathererandolph
Joined: 20 Mar 2008
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 6:49 pm Post subject: Confused with starting a new life.? |
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| I don't get it. You've already bought the house? Anyhow, it's not a good idea to have the house in both your names until you are married. Also, like you said, unless you have jobs you won't be able to hold onto the house. Maybe your mom can open an account for you to keep the money in for the house to buy it when you both have jobs. I don't suggest putting it into your fiancee's name right now, does not seem like he's very good with money. To me it sounds like you're unsure about the marriage as well. Don't be afraid to put it off for a few years. If you still love each other you can still get married. |
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