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engagement party/wedding etiquette?
 
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Lopasoex



Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 31
Location: AU

PostPosted: Sat Mar 15, 2008 1:48 am    Post subject: engagement party/wedding etiquette? Reply with quote
is it bad etiquette not 2 invite my partners younger brother and sister 2 our engagement party and wedding?its jus that theyve done nothing but cause problems & try 2 split us up. i really dont want them there, as it will cause arguments wiv my family & id rather not have my day ruined by arguing, i no its his day 2 but surely my wish should come 1st?ok i was hoping not 2 go in2 this but his brother is a thief,who stole my sons xmas money from my purse and his sister came down 2 have a go @ me a wk after i had my son by section all because i had my mum down.she was very rude she told me 2 shut up then when my mum objected responded wiv ''invite me down when shes gone'' not only that but she bought clothes 4 my son thenasked 4 them bk when she found out she was pregnant.to top it all theyre going roung claiming that my son isnt thier btothers so y would i want that & all their hate @ my wedding?pls bear in mind that my partners sister is the same age as my own sister, and shes come in2 my home & is trying 2 lay the law down 2 me, its all about respect, she told my partner he had 2 choose between her child and his son, does that sound like a loving sister 2 u?theyve already said theyll never accept me, they jus want my partner 2 b unhappy, its all about money, they dont care about him they jus like using him as a bank and not paying him bk.oh right so its acceptable 4 them 2 do wot they want 2 me?im sorry but i dont have 'welcome' written on my forehead would it help if i said my partners leaving the decision up2 me?y should i have 2 put up wiv rudeness?i wont ever 4get thier behaviour, it ruined the 1st wk of my sons lifealso amit, u clearly havent read my question, as i have a son, ive mentioned him several times and comments like that r not welcomeelise, they caused this, she told me my mum had no right 2 b wiv me.not only had i jus had a baby, i had 2 have a major operation 2 have that baby how would u feel if that happenend 2 u?
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Lora



Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 16

PostPosted: Sat Mar 15, 2008 3:08 am    Post subject: engagement party/wedding etiquette? Reply with quote
I think you could get away with not inviting them to the engagement party but they should be at the wedding because they are his family and your new family. think of the situation reversed would you want your fiance saying someone from your family cant come? And as for wishes being granted you are getting married that means you are now a team no ones wishes should out weigh the other in a union. Maybe just talk to his mom or have him talk to his siblings about wedding behavior and how to act at family functions
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Loon-A-TiK



Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 17

PostPosted: Sat Mar 15, 2008 4:28 am    Post subject: engagement party/wedding etiquette? Reply with quote
Be the better person. Put on a happy face and invite them. Act as gracious as you can. I know that you don't want them to be there, but they ARE your husbands fiance's family. You are going to have to live with him. It's better that you not make the already existing problem worse. Make the first step toward family peace and invite them!
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looper35



Joined: 12 Feb 2008
Posts: 7

PostPosted: Sat Mar 15, 2008 5:48 am    Post subject: engagement party/wedding etiquette? Reply with quote
Engagement party. Leave them out they do not agree anyway.At the wedding, invite them but have bouncers on hand just in case.
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looxantagiota



Joined: 06 Nov 2007
Posts: 40
Location: NL

PostPosted: Sat Mar 15, 2008 7:08 am    Post subject: engagement party/wedding etiquette? Reply with quote
You have to rise to the occasion and invite them. Twenty years from now, their behavior will be forgotten. But if you don't invite them, 20 years from now, your slight will be remembered.
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loonialse



Joined: 04 Dec 2007
Posts: 17
Location: Ethiopia

PostPosted: Sat Mar 15, 2008 8:28 am    Post subject: engagement party/wedding etiquette? Reply with quote
OK. Well, first off I want to tell you that they didn't ruin the 1st week of your sons life, as he will never remember it, they ruined your 1st week with your son. I do understand why you are upset and probably don't want them there, however, I really don't think that asking the people on here is the way to make that decision, you and your partner really need to sit down and discuss it and come to an agreement. If your partner agrees with you, and you choose not to invite them, you will probably have to explain why to many many people. However, I think it would be wise if you do decide to invite them to talk to the other members in your family that may argue with them and beg them to just for the day let everything go, that it is your day and you don't want any problems. If that means the sister in law and your mom stay separated all day then that's what needs to be done. Best of luck with the wedding and the marriage...and the new family.
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looxantagiota



Joined: 06 Nov 2007
Posts: 40
Location: NL

PostPosted: Sat Mar 15, 2008 9:48 am    Post subject: engagement party/wedding etiquette? Reply with quote
Yes, invite all siblings.If you are getting married, it's time for you to be mature.And stop talking in text!
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loonialse



Joined: 04 Dec 2007
Posts: 17
Location: Ethiopia

PostPosted: Sat Mar 15, 2008 11:08 am    Post subject: engagement party/wedding etiquette? Reply with quote
I would say dont invite them. They have caused nothing but problems for you, they don't deserve to be at your special day. You will just spend the day worrying about when everythings gonna kick off. Yes people will moan about you not inviting them, but if they were nice people in the first place, you wouldn't be having this dilemma. Good Luck
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LoraineF



Joined: 26 Nov 2007
Posts: 31

PostPosted: Sat Mar 15, 2008 12:28 pm    Post subject: engagement party/wedding etiquette? Reply with quote
Try reposting this question in English. Also, why should your wish come before your fiance's? You are not more important than him.
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