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Riiwipa
Joined: 24 Sep 2007
Posts: 5
Location: Yes
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 Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2007 4:48 pm Post subject: Etiquette on inviting co-workers to your wedding? |
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| I have seen many post on inviting co-workers to your wedding. I was wondering if anyone knew what the proper etiquette was for inviting co-workers to your wedding? It is obvious that you can't invite everyone but how do you do it? I asked one close co-worker and he said just invite those that you are close with. But I told him I am close with at least 16-17 people, how can I invite some of them and not all. 16-17 ppl will turn into 32-34 because they will bring a guest. Can someone help me find a better way of saying to the other co-workers that I won't invite that the wedding is for close family and friends without them thinking I am being rude to them by not inviting them but inviting the other co-workers?And yes I know many of you will say it is your day do what you want but has anyone been in this situation before?Just to add by May 2008, it will be 2 yrs. 5 months at this job. |
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VinceM
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 6
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| Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2007 5:00 pm Post subject: Etiquette on inviting co-workers to your wedding? |
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| I would say don't invite any coworkers to your wedding.I invited a few to mine. One didn't show (though she had responded that she was attending) and never gave me a gift, only a lame excuse when I returned to work. Four months later, our office was closed and I will probably never see those people again. Likewise for all of the weddings of coworkers I have attended over the years- I will never see these people again.Keep it to friends and family. You'll be glad in the long run that you did. Think of it this way- is it worth the cost you're paying per head to have them there? I wish I had saved the money, looking back on it. |
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ranitizardy
Joined: 23 Nov 2007
Posts: 5
Location: Antigua and Barbuda
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| Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2007 5:12 pm Post subject: Etiquette on inviting co-workers to your wedding? |
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| My husband and I work together, so we ended up inviting about 20 people from work. We could not invite everyone and a few weeks after the wedding a co-worker who was not invited told me she was disappointed that she didn't get invited. I said "well we couldn't invite everyone and we tried really hard to invite as many people as we could, but we had to cut off our list somewhere, so we could only invite our closest friends. I would have loved to include you, but our guest list was getting out of control." I think she appreciated my honesty and she said she wasn't upset. I think you just have to be honest and tell them that you have a set budget and would have loved to invite everyone, but it's just not possible. |
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RR1308
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 9
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| Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2007 5:24 pm Post subject: Etiquette on inviting co-workers to your wedding? |
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| This is a tough one. There is not etiquette per say.If you can then invite those co-workers that both of you know and see regularly.If this is no good then invite those you really want and simply explain to the others that you have a limited budget and that it wasn't so much who too invite but rather (and far more difficult) who to leave off. As compensation could you not have a do as Mr. and Mrs. at your new home for those who didn't get invited?Good luck. |
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Viutroy
Joined: 10 Aug 2007
Posts: 10
Location: Pharma
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| Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2007 5:36 pm Post subject: Etiquette on inviting co-workers to your wedding? |
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| I'm no Miss Manners, but here are two suggestions that I have. Invite only the people you usually socialize with outside of work. Or only invite five people from each yours and your husband to be's work and explain it's what the two of you have decided to be fair to each other and financially. If your friends don't understand, they're not truly your friends. |
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thepreacherswife
Joined: 24 Nov 2007
Posts: 6
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| Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2007 5:48 pm Post subject: Etiquette on inviting co-workers to your wedding? |
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| Don't invite your coworkers. Everyone knows that receptions are expensive these days. Anyone who questions why they weren't invited doesn't have a good grasp of etiquette. When they find that none of them were invited they will understand your decision.Have an "at home" with wine and light snacks for your coworkers when you return from your honeymoon--you will be able to enjoy their company more, actually--because you aren't having to worry about the course that things take at a reception. Send the invite before you leave on your honeymoon.Give them an invitation asking them to be your first guests in your new home, and no gifts please. That way, they will know that you aren't just inviting them to get a gift. Unfortunately, some people might think that. If they do bring a gift, you can always act surprised--and appreciative. Don't forget to send a "thank you". |
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TresLeches
Joined: 02 Dec 2007
Posts: 5
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| Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2007 6:00 pm Post subject: Etiquette on inviting co-workers to your wedding? |
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| It's an all-or-nothing situation and 'nothing" is the best route to go. It really is an easy thing to handle. You get some lovely card stock paper and, using a nice elegant font, type out an open letter to the staff and post it in the coffee room. "To my wonderful co-workers and friends - As you know, Tom and I are being married on January 45th. We are blessed to have a large supportive family but that also means we have a huge guest list. Although we'd love to share this day with everyone in our life, it is just not possible. We promise to have an "open house" reception for everyone we couldn't include on the official wedding list and hope you all understand! Love, Mary |
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TerthTerty
Joined: 20 Sep 2007
Posts: 4
Location: USA
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| Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2007 6:12 pm Post subject: Etiquette on inviting co-workers to your wedding? |
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| Invite your boss and those you are close with. If you are truly close with them, then you will want them there on the special day. There is no real way to cut the list down unless you have have one or two "best friends" at work, in which case just invite them. But if you randomly decide and hurt people, then trust me you will regret it. No one will be offended if you just invite those who you get together with outside of work. That is the safest way to go about it. |
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TeeloTror
Joined: 29 Oct 2007
Posts: 2
Location: Iraq
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| Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2007 6:24 pm Post subject: Etiquette on inviting co-workers to your wedding? |
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| I'm getting married in May, too, and by that time I will be there 4 years. And I'm not inviting anyone from work. I've already explained to the people I would like there and to the people that thought they should be invited that I don't want there, that our guest list is just getting too big, and I wish they could be there but unfortunately I am running out of room. |
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wendy
Joined: 02 Dec 2007
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2007 6:36 pm Post subject: Etiquette on inviting co-workers to your wedding? |
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| Due to space and cost, I didn't invite any of my co-workers. Instead, we had a cocktail "post wedding" reception at our place a few weeks after the wedding. We had our wedding album by then so they also got to see pictures. It was a great success and all my co-workers had a great time. As far as telling them, I told them that we want to keep the wedding small and intimate and we will be hosting a party for everyone. Once they knew they were going to be invited to something similar, they didn't get upset or offended. Most people familiar with weddings will completely understand.Good luck! |
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semontius
Joined: 23 Apr 2007
Posts: 33
Location: usa
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| Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2007 6:48 pm Post subject: Etiquette on inviting co-workers to your wedding? |
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| The only co-workers I'm inviting are my boss, the people who report directly to me (but not people who report to them), and the few people I socialize with outside of work (that I would continue to be friends with if I didn't work there anymore). My fiance is inviting only his boss. |
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_hexas_iniloi_
Joined: 30 Apr 2007
Posts: 5
Location: Germany
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| Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2007 7:00 pm Post subject: Etiquette on inviting co-workers to your wedding? |
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| Im only inviting some of the people from work. 7 to be precise, we only have a staff of 18 so its not as difficult I guess. The 7 i'm inviting know not to say anything to the others (i.e. rub it in their faces) and I have also told them I'm not inviting their partners (which they're stoked about - girls weekend away!). I guess it entirely depends on the dynamics of your work place. The people I work with a pretty cruisy and laid back so it wasn't difficult. If any one approaches me about why they weren't invited i'll tell them the honest truth "limited budget and I felt we weren't as close as the others". |
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Tyhotolbra
Joined: 03 Jun 2007
Posts: 3
Location: Stafford
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| Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2007 7:12 pm Post subject: Etiquette on inviting co-workers to your wedding? |
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| I invited the 4 girls I work most closely with, I work on a reception desk so I spend all day every day with these girls and so we became friendly, the rest of the company barely even know our names so I didn't ask anyone else. |
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