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first time brides maid...HELP?
 
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pspoptart4882



Joined: 02 Dec 2007
Posts: 24

PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 1:33 am    Post subject: first time brides maid...HELP? Reply with quote
my best friend is getting married in July...we are going to get dresses on the 12 of Jan. the places were she wants to get our nail and hair done is ALOT like 45 to get your nails done and 40 for hairshe also told me today that her sister dropped out of the wedding because she doesn't have the money to be a brides maid so that leaves my other friend as the maid of honor my friend kinda was hinting today that she wanted me to be maid of honor or us both be....what can i expect as a brides maid idk what to do or how to helpwhat do i do for a bacholorette party...all of the girls will be 20 but one will be 19 and the guys will all be 21-26
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psychologist_4u



Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 9

PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 1:47 am    Post subject: first time brides maid...HELP? Reply with quote
brides maid: pays for their own dress, hair, nails, shoes(usually the bride pays for the flowers and make-up) maid of honor takes care of the bacholorette party - so depending how much she wants to spend you might all have to pitch in a share you will give a present at the bridal shower and wedding
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Psiksjwotteh



Joined: 24 Nov 2007
Posts: 10
Location: hguhus

PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 2:02 am    Post subject: first time brides maid...HELP? Reply with quote
Well if her own sister dropped out because she cant afford it, then you would think she would get the hint, and get ideas from you guys (brides maids) on how to get what she wants for a lesser price, i.e. go to a diffrent salon, and pick basic dresses, etc. If she is hinting, pretend that you are not picking up on the hint dropping to become the maid of honor if you can not afford it. The maid of honor is the one who usually throws the bridal shower and bacholorette party. If you are not the maid of honor, it is not your responsibility, you can however help if you are willing.
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puglyparker



Joined: 13 Dec 2007
Posts: 7

PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 2:16 am    Post subject: first time brides maid...HELP? Reply with quote
Perhaps you should discuss with your friend to find a much more affordable hair and nail salon-- her own SISTER dropped out?!?!?!?!?! That should be your first clue.... She needs to take into consideration that she is a young bride and most of the wedding party is on tighter budgets than older bridesmaids do, and be understanding when she needs to compromise.As a bridesmaid, you're there to help the bride with planning before the wedding, the bachelorette party (try a Surprise Party- they sell all kinds of fun and festive toys, and the idea is that everyone buys something for the bride) and then one the day of the wedding, you help the bride with all the minor freak outs- run in her pantyhose? get another pair! Makeup mussed up? you have the fixins! and all that fun stuff!
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pspoptart0508



Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 6

PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 2:30 am    Post subject: first time brides maid...HELP? Reply with quote
Congrats on being asked to stand up for your friend! Your best resource is www.theknot.com - it's got a wealth of knowledge for everyone from the bride to the ring bearer and everyone in between. There's lots of helpful articles on what is expected of you, your duties and roles as a bridesmaid. It also deals with etiquette questions and things like that. I suggest you hook the bride up with that website if she hasn't already signed up. It's all free, so there's nothing to lose.As far as the nails and hair... 45 is a little much for nails unless you're getting a pink and white acrylic. 40 is about average for wedding hair, though - you'll have a hard time getting a better price than that. Don't stress about the bachelorette party - just make it somewhere fun that everyone can enjoy! You seem nervous about the ages - don't forget that it's not about getting drunk - it's about your friend's last big night out with her pals before taking the plunge! You can have plenty of sober fun - be inventive!!! Go to an amusement park or go on a camping trip... I'm sure you'll think of something everyone can enjoy :)Good Luck!
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protonship



Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 24

PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 2:45 am    Post subject: first time brides maid...HELP? Reply with quote
I'm not sure if you can just switch who is the maid of honor since the bride actually picked her to be maid of honor. But you can always help out with whatever the maid of honor needs help with!! You're job is to help the bride, pay for your own dress, and you shouldn't HAVE to have your hair and nails done...if the bride is requiring it, then she should help pay for it. As for ideas for the bacholorette party...you could always do a combo boy/girl party at someones house, or you can just do a fun spa day for the girls.
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pspoptart5869



Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 19

PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 2:59 am    Post subject: first time brides maid...HELP? Reply with quote
This link will explain what your duties arehttp://www.bridesmaid101.com/bridesmaid_duties.htmlYou do not need to get your nails and hair done at the same places that she is. If you can find more affordable places by all means go there. You can still offer her support by meeting her at the salon when you are finished.Bachelorette party doesn't have to be strippers and booze. http://www.bridesmaid101.com/bachelorette_party.html
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pspoptart1775



Joined: 24 Nov 2007
Posts: 12

PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 3:14 am    Post subject: first time brides maid...HELP? Reply with quote
You can be a bridesmaid without having your budget wrecked. Since this is your best friend, simply tell her that you cannot afford to pay those prices for hair and nails, but you would be happy to get those things done on your own and pay what you can afford. It's not required that you all go and get hair and nails done together.Asking someone to be in your wedding party does not entitle you to spend their money as though it was your own. She needs to keep things reasonable for those involved. I personally cannot imagine one of my friends dropping out of the wedding due to finances, let alone my own sister. I wouldn't allow it- we would find a way to make it affordable. It would be much more important to me to have my best friends with me that to have a particular dress or have everyone get their hair done together.
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pspoptart0942



Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 9

PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 3:28 am    Post subject: first time brides maid...HELP? Reply with quote
Sure the dress, shoes, gifts, parties are all going to be important parts of you being a bridesmaid, but most of all, being there for your friend will be the best thing you can do for her. Ask her if she doesn't mind you having your nails and hair done somewhere where you can afford it. This is her special day and things may get "clouded" on what is truly important, but if you air your concerns early, she'll probably be more open to alternate means. (especially if one of her girls dropped out already)
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pspoptart



Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 5

PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 3:42 am    Post subject: first time brides maid...HELP? Reply with quote
basically, the bride is being extremely selfish if ppl are having to drop out of the wedding for financial reasons. However, I am only in weddings where I am really close to the person, and it's worth spending above and beyond what i may want. As a bridesmaid you help and plan the bachelorette party. because you won't be 21 you can just plan a fun evening with the girls. have trivia questions about how they met, etc and play games. or naught pin the "tail" on the "donkey". Stuff like that. good luck!!
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problems



Joined: 24 Nov 2007
Posts: 37

PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 3:57 am    Post subject: first time brides maid...HELP? Reply with quote
bacholorette party first off there are no guys allowed its a girls night out. Now since you are not of age some ideas:-Sex Toy Party (believe me you have one in your area)-Rent a hotel or one of the girls house-watch movies-play games: there are bacholorette games out there (on-line or local party store), truth or dare, etc.-If you have someone that will buy you Alcohol then you can drink in the hotel as long as ALL THE GIRLS STAY!!!!!-Go out dancing-go to a karaokeWhat to expect as maid of honor. Your in charge of the bridal shower, bacholorette party, and giving the speech at the reception for both the shower and the wedding. You also have to make sure the bride has everything the day of the wedding, keep her calm, make sure she has all the pieces to her dress, all of her hair, makeup, nails done, make sure she knows her vows or has them with her, if she is incharge of rings make sure she has them before leaving. Also try to help her keep the stress level down.
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