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Lubyadabecy
Joined: 16 Jan 2008
Posts: 7
Location: Spain
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 Posted: Wed Feb 20, 2008 6:28 pm Post subject: Has anyone here ever planned their wedding & then downscaled |
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| I feel like I'm getting in over my head. Right now, the ceremony & reception will be held at a restaurant located on a gorgeous Lake, orchids everywhere! Long story short, I'm already at around $9,000 & I don't have my dress, jewelry, shoes, none of the men's attire, wedding rings still need to be purchased, no honeymoon yet. I know 10k-15k is nothing to some people but I'm starting to worry. Also, people are wanting to choose their own clothing & not match & stuff. Is it worth it to have this big party for 50 people? Was it worth it to you if you've already had your wedding? Did everybody love it & appreciate the details? Did anyone even care what a nice job you did or did they just want to eat & leave?I feel like I should just do it in the backyard. I'm talking finger foods & music from the laptop. Let people wear whatever & have a friend take pictures. Have any of you done this? Downscaled in a major way? I don't want to regret it but I'm just kinda over it right now.Thanks for the advice. As a side note, it will not put us in debt & we're not using credit for anything. I think I'm just starting to panic. Paying $1200 for the DJ (that I have to use for that venue) and then what if nobody dances? What if everyone just sits there? Is that even worth it?I'm just feeling guilty because my fiance recently came into a bit of money & he wants to buy another sports car . . . cash . . . a Z06 Corvette . . . and I feel like I'm becoming a financial burden with the wedding because I know he really wants the car. You know what, never mind me. I'm just a mess today. LOL! A straight mess! |
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Luv2Answer
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 11
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| Posted: Wed Feb 20, 2008 7:04 pm Post subject: Has anyone here ever planned their wedding & then downscaled |
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| How about first you calm down! $9000 for 50 is a lot of money. We are spending that and we are having 250 people. Scale down but meet in the middle. Back yard parties are cook, how big is the back yard, can you put a nice tent up? For 50 people you could probably cook the food yourself, have someone professional come i, put a tent up and decorate it inside and then just have family and friends set up a buffet. That is just one idea. The possiblities are endless. Be creative and I would definaltly scale back some. You dont want to start this new life together in debt. You could even rent a hall or have an outdoor wedding. Email me if you want some more ideas. I have tons! |
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lovebug2052
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 8
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| Posted: Wed Feb 20, 2008 7:41 pm Post subject: Has anyone here ever planned their wedding & then downscaled |
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We have always wanted a fairytale wedding..all girls do..but I am planning mine right now....and guess who the wedding planner is???? my dad!!!! I have say in it but he just has great ideas & I know my dad is great when it comes to planning stuff out really well..(my dad is not gay)...but anyways...I told him before we started planning what I wanted and etc.. & then once you figure out how much stuff is...you have no choice but to downsize...I wanted a specific flower & came to find out that it was hard to get & i had to change to a calla lillie...which was fine...instead of going somewhere and renting stuff we just went to orientaltrading.com & ordered a bunch of stuff from there & then we can decorate ourselves..there are alot of ideas for your wedding & so on and things will change...so be ready...I always want everything that I seen & stuff but and I wanted everything to be different and whatever but everyone is putting a little something of their own into my wedding...everyone is like..."its your wedding do what you want" and I am like grrrrrrrr!!!! I need help!! b/c I don't wanna do something and someone not like it..you know? so we are doing finger foods..you don't wanna do alot of your only going to have 20 or so people for example...some people have a theme for their wedding..and mine is just like an elegant theme..but the guests cane wear whatever they feel comfortable in..I hope I made sense & helped...but don't get stressed out...it's suppose to be fun!! we have only had a couple months to plan too..and mine is in june...Good luck!!!don't do everything by yourself..don't be afraid to ask!!! |
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luisamapacha
Joined: 27 Dec 2007
Posts: 27
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| Posted: Wed Feb 20, 2008 8:18 pm Post subject: Has anyone here ever planned their wedding & then downscaled |
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| I wouldn't downscale it that much, but I certainly would have done quite a few things different. Honestly, 50 people isn't alot for a wedding, that is considered a very small wedding, which is perfectly fine, just that you are already $9000 into it. For me, a nice honeymoon was more important than the actual reception. No matter how good you think it will look, there will always be someone who secretly criticizes your wedding. It almost seems pointless. My entire wedding, with everything included, came out to $12,000 and I think we payed too much. Some of it almost seemed unnecessary. To be perfectly honest, I don't think all your guests will appreciate the time, effort and money you put into your wedding, as much as you do. You just have to decide what you think this wedding will be worth to you. My wedding flew by in a blur, I could barely remember it. I remember, I didn't even eat a bite of food. It was just so hectic. The one thing you really shouldn't sacrifice though, in my opinion, is a photographer. Your wedding will come and go very quickly, but you will always have the photographs. That was important to us. That, and a good honeymoon. That is also something we will remember forever. Good luck! |
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LuckDragonUK4197
Joined: 24 Nov 2007
Posts: 22
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| Posted: Wed Feb 20, 2008 8:55 pm Post subject: Has anyone here ever planned their wedding & then downscaled |
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| I know exactly how you feel. We were going to do a simple wedding and it's turned into something huge and expensive. I have times where I just want to go to the courthouse. But, be strong. Don't do soemthing that you will look back and regret because your frustrated right now. But, at the same time don't over do things because you want to impress people. Your friends and family are their to support you and share your special day with you. They should be happy with whatever you choose to do. If you think you are spending too much just look at things you can cut cost on. I spent way more than I thought on my dress, so now we are throwing out idea's that we originally had to cut cost. I know it's stressful, and at times you are going to feel overwhelmed but don't lose sight of why you are getting married. You love him. Make the day special for you and him, and the rest will fall into place. And it will be wonderfulgood luck girl! |
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LukeC
Joined: 21 Nov 2007
Posts: 18
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| Posted: Wed Feb 20, 2008 9:32 pm Post subject: Has anyone here ever planned their wedding & then downscaled |
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| Backyard wedding receptions are wonderful! I got married in our church but had my reception in my parents yard. We had a big tent up, my dad built a dance floor and we all had a great time. We had a DJ, served alcohol, cut the cake and all and it was fantastic. After all the wedding pics were taken we all changed into "comfy" clothes (shorts, sandals, t-shirts) and danced the night away. I cooked some of the food myself, my mom, aunts and MIL all made food, and we set up a big buffet. All in all, with the dress, tux, flowers, cake, DJ and food I think our total bill came to $3000. (of course this was 13 years ago, but I'm sure you could probably do it for around $5000 now) Good luck. Don't get too stressed. Enjoy it! |
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LopUtinorip
Joined: 31 Aug 2007
Posts: 46
Location: Australia
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| Posted: Wed Feb 20, 2008 10:09 pm Post subject: Has anyone here ever planned their wedding & then downscaled |
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| I think your backyard idea is great - that's what we did for my son's wedding. It was wonderful. The one thing I would suggest is that you have a photographer. We asked a friend to take pictures. His camera broke during the ceremony. We wished that we had hired a photographer. |
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LoraineF
Joined: 26 Nov 2007
Posts: 31
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| Posted: Wed Feb 20, 2008 10:46 pm Post subject: Has anyone here ever planned their wedding & then downscaled |
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| Do what you want! You are IMPORTANT! You are the one that needs to be happy with the wedding. How do you feel about downsizing? I planned and booked in detail this wedding for 50 people and I was way over my head but it was coming out beautiful, until people didn't RSVP and they called to say they weren't coming.(Bad words bad words mutha bad words) So I had to cancel it all and I actually rebooked some place else and it accomodates 35 people, which is perfect 30 people on my side and 5 from the grooms yes 5! I decided to change the cake from 4 tiers to 3 but the cake is super important to me. I wanted a beach wedding and it's still on the beach just a different island. Good caribbean food was important to me so I got the best menu oh it's the best, not like any other wedding for example I'm serving barbequed ribs and curry chicken...yum. Forget everyone else this is truely your day...but check with the groom too. Best of luck. |
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lornee80
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 12
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| Posted: Wed Feb 20, 2008 11:23 pm Post subject: Has anyone here ever planned their wedding & then downscaled |
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| I was going to say cut your guest list but you only have 50 people as it is. Just think about what is not really neccesary and scrap that to save money. Like do you need heaps of decorations or fancy wedding cars etc? If you want to do a backyard wedding then that is good, it will save you a lot of money not having the reception and DJ ect. But make sure you get nice food though, you can afford to get good catering. Also even if you have a home wedding, I would still spend a bit of money on a good photographer. Because it doesn't matter where your wedding is, it is your wedding and thus you need and want great photos. You know your friend won't be able to take as good pics as a professional and I would really hate for you to be disapointed with the photos.If you think a home wedding is the way to go then do it, home weddings with a few decorations to jazz it up are lovely. But I would certainly see if there is anything you can possibly do to lower costs with what you already have first. Go over your budget and be a bit ruthless and say 'sorry has to be cut'. You would be surprised how much money you can save by doing that. I hope things improve for you :)Also, I know this is none of my business at all but I just wanted to say with your fiance buying the car and him having a bit of money now, you should really encourage him to do something worthwhile with that money like putting a deposit on a house. He doesn't want to squander it away on a nice car that doesn't last as long a a house. Take this opportunity to think about your futures while you can. I know it's his money and he can do what he wants but think about it.... |
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Lopasoex
Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 31
Location: AU
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| Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 12:00 am Post subject: Has anyone here ever planned their wedding & then downscaled |
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| If you're in your 20's, NO, people don't appreciate those details. Even when you're older---the only details that really interest most people are 3 things: food, booze, and music. In general, most people don't care about your dress, your rings, the cake, the centerpieces or the other decorations. The only person who really cares about these things is the bride. It sounds like you've picked the wrong maids and groomsmen particularly if they're already squaking about what they have to wear. If you can get back some of your deposits, perhaps you should consider downscaling as most people don't care where it's at as long as there's food, booze and music. |
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