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NobbyNoidea
Joined: 03 Dec 2007
Posts: 33
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 Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 10:02 am Post subject: How can I convince my bf to propose? |
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| I'm wondering how you were BOTH able to set a date without proposing...I thought a proposal was a confirmation for setting a date?Oh well, he might be on his own schedule and he's maybe waiting to catch you off-guard for a surprise...You might be hounding him and constantly reminding him when he's going to propose....this might eventually drive him away!Give him a chance to come through.....I hope your friends are not pressurizing you to get married either!Good luck and you still have time, you're not behind schedule! |
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nml2573
Joined: 24 Nov 2007
Posts: 26
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| Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 10:07 am Post subject: How can I convince my bf to propose? |
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| You can't be hasty just because you have a place picked out in your mind already. It is not fair to push the issue, even if you two are always talking about it or not. Getting married is huge and all the weird feelings that surround it while you're planning are enough without you having to wonder if he only asked because you pushed him, which you will question at some point. Just enjoy your lives and plans as they are now, and it will happen if and when it's suppose to. You guys are pretty young and trust me I got together with my guy at your age, lived with him and still we didn't get married until we were 29&30 (I'm older). Don't let the fact that the "perfect venue" needs to be booked so far in advance decide when you need to get engaged. Besides you may love a certain venue now, but you can always find another one when you least expect it, & by then you will be very glad you waited. |
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NobbyNoidea
Joined: 03 Dec 2007
Posts: 33
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| Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 10:12 am Post subject: How can I convince my bf to propose? |
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| I know you are anxious to get engaged and get married on that date but keep a few things in mind. Although you may have money now, that is not everything. You should definitely be somewhat financially stable before making the decision to get married but it is not the most important thing. As far as for how long the two of you have been together, that is really all relative. I have friends who were dating a year before they got engaged or 3 yrs...Personally my fiance and I have been together for 7 yrs and are just now getting married this year. If you know that this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with there is no need to rush him into a wedding now. He just may not be ready for that right now. You can be the most mature, responsible, and well off person and not be ready to take it to that level. I wouldn't rush him into doing something he is not ready for just because you want it now. You will be happier in the long run if you let him be ready for that step. And remember, although you want 9/9/09 for your wedding date, any day you get married will be a special day. It really should be less about details like that and more about spending the rest of your life with the person you love and who loves you back! |
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nml2573
Joined: 24 Nov 2007
Posts: 26
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| Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 10:17 am Post subject: How can I convince my bf to propose? |
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| Just because you are ready now doesn't mean he is. If you try to convince him otherwise, you might drive him away. |
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NobbyNoidea
Joined: 03 Dec 2007
Posts: 33
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| Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 10:22 am Post subject: How can I convince my bf to propose? |
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| You are going to ruin one of the most special moments in a man's life: proposing to his girlfriend. Lay off and let him do it in his own time. Your wedding date is only a date in your head, since you are not engaged and you have not put deposits down yet. Relax and don't rush it. |
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Noelle
Joined: 24 Nov 2007
Posts: 36
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| Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 10:27 am Post subject: How can I convince my bf to propose? |
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| Okay... time for a reality check... You want to get married, I think we all understand that.BUT what isn't clear is whether he TRULY wants to be married. Guys will and do say a lot of things simply to get women to be quiet about things.... it is quite possible that he doesn't TRULY want to be married and is just stringing you along.... IF a guy wants to get married he will propose if he doesn't then you can't force him to and get a good outcome. You sound like you've put alot of thought into this wedding... you speak of the perfect place the perfect ring, the perfect everything... except you don't talk about why he is so perfect... frankly you sound more like your in love with the idea of getting married and not as much in love with your boyfriend.I might suggest the following... both of you sit down and tell him you want him to marry you next week... not a fancy wedding just a quick justice of the peace deal... explain you'll have a formal wedding later. Now if he does want to marry you and you truly want to marry him and not just have a big wedding you should both agree to it... after all you can get some benefits from being married like cheaper car insurance and surely two savy business folks like yourself can see the advantages of it.... then again you may find he has an excuse not to, if he does then just move on and find Mr. Right because it will prove he isn't him.Okay... after reading all your additional add-ons... I have but one simple question have you also picked out your divorce lawyers? Because you have completely and absolutely gone over the deep end on planning your lives. Already you have the time picked the number of kids picked the names of the kids picked your entire life planned.... well I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this but life doesn't work like that... in your life you will have things happen you didn't plan for, for someone like yourself that seems to be an absolute control freak to the nth degree that is going to cause huge problems... you'll be lucky to last 2 years with anyone.... you need some major help, and god forbid you have kids and try to pull them into your pre-planned life scheme... they will end up damaged beyond all hope. |
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Noelle
Joined: 24 Nov 2007
Posts: 36
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| Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 10:31 am Post subject: How can I convince my bf to propose? |
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| Sorry, but I am exhausted after reading your question! If I were a guy who's girlfriend had already planned everything you say you have, I would hold onto that proposal for dear life--it sounds like that's the only thing in this scenario he still has control over! You need to give the guy a break, CALM DOWN, and just let things happen naturally. Pressuring him will not help. What is the big hurry? Your "prefect date"? That's ridiculous, & certainly no reason to rush into marriage just b/c you have a date set in your mind. When he is ready, he will ask. |
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NobbyNoidea
Joined: 03 Dec 2007
Posts: 33
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| Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 10:36 am Post subject: How can I convince my bf to propose? |
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| I totally understand where you are coming from. My bf and I have been together for five years now, both have degrees and steady jobs, are in the process of buying a house and I am basically waiting for the proposal. We both know we want to get married and it will be a short engagement which means i have to start planning NOW! I want it to be a suprise too so I dont want to be too pushy...i mean we picked out the ring i like and everything but i dont want to start planning a wedding without being officially engaged. All we can do is wait- im hoping it will happen within the next couple of months because he knows i only want to be living with him for a short period of time without being married. Both of our families know our plans so its just a matter of time. As far as your case as putting money down and setting a date already i would be patient....i mean you always have to think what if? ya know. What if he waits another 6 mos. or what if he gets cold feet and runs? You have to watch out for yourself esp. if he doesnt seem in any hurry to get married or if hes not thrilled about your wedding dreams. Just be patient and we'll wait together..lol!Good luck |
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nml
Joined: 21 Nov 2007
Posts: 32
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| Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 10:41 am Post subject: How can I convince my bf to propose? |
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| I am not going to read through all of the added details you have on here so I don't know if it's been brought up but if you want to be engaged so badly why don't you ask him? Do you really want a guy to propose just because you told him to? Yes he wants to marry you and since you guys are already talking details and set a day maybe hes the type of guy thats taking it as he doesn't have to propose because you guys are already at that step. |
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