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rosey23
Joined: 13 Nov 2007
Posts: 10
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 Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 1:06 am Post subject: Is it inappropriate or obnoxious in our invitation to sugges |
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| it is not INAPPROPIATE, as you are having to pay (or your parents are) for YOUR special day!!! Do what you want, say what you want, if they don't like it, they can not attend the wedding.............weddings are very special and you don't want someone showing up in very inappropiate clothes as you will remember that day for the rest of you life!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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SatelliteTvFrP
Joined: 02 Jul 2007
Posts: 17
Location: Turkey
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| Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 1:57 am Post subject: Is it inappropriate or obnoxious in our invitation to sugges |
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| Yes I think it is a good idea when u have a themed wedding to ask guest to wear something that goes with it.Good Luck!! |
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purnimacresent
Joined: 24 Nov 2007
Posts: 7
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| Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 2:47 am Post subject: Is it inappropriate or obnoxious in our invitation to sugges |
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| I think it's more helpful than anything as long as you're not pushy about it. I'm making a mention of our "dress code" on our wedding site and possibly the invitations because we don't want anyone to come over dressed and feel uncomfortable (we're having a Luau styled reception so it's casual and laid back). But we're leaving it up to our guests how they want to dress, we're only making the suggestion of what we would like. |
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Princess1034
Joined: 02 Dec 2007
Posts: 3
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| Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 3:38 am Post subject: Is it inappropriate or obnoxious in our invitation to sugges |
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| Way back in the 1800s, formal invitations (a wedding is a formal social event, even if you wear swim suits and eat hamburgers) would indicate white tie, black tie, or casual. In 2008, few ladies or gentlemen know what white tie or black tie even MEANS, much less own such an outfit -- and I tremble to think how "casual" might be interpretted. Way back in the mid-1900s, people did their RSVPs by phone. After receiving an invitation, I'd call the phone number just below the letters RSVP. It would usually be an answering service (this was before the invention of voice mail, remember?) and the operator would ask me to leave my name, a ph#, and a good day/time to call. My call would be returned, usually by a bridesmaid or groomsman, who would fill me on driving directions, maybe ask if I'd prefer shrimp or chicken, give me guidance on how dressed up to get, and so on. During the course of the call, I'd ask what sort of gift the couple would like, and the caller would tell me where they were registered and hint that cash was welcome. This kept invitations formal looking -- crisp and uncluttered. So my suggestion is to engineer a telephone, IM, or some other type of conversation with guests unless you want your invitations to be quite non-traditional and non-formal.As to "providing guidelines" I hope you mean something along the lines of "like you might dress for a fancy church service with your conservative great-aunt" or "something glamorous, like you'd wear to a very chic disco" or "a lot of the ladies will be wearing evening gowns" or "it's a picnic, jeans and sport shirts are fine." I hope you don't mean something like "Our theme is Ancient Japan, so wear a kimono" or "all guests must wear blue to match the bridesmaids" because KYT would hate to tell you you're being an obnoxious little Hitler. ;-)Congrats and best wishes! |
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Seamless_12092
Joined: 11 Mar 2008
Posts: 58
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| Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 4:28 am Post subject: Is it inappropriate or obnoxious in our invitation to sugges |
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Not at all inappropriate, its your wedding!Everyone should be made aware of the costume or dress code theme in the invitation, but those who decide not to dress in theme shouldn't be made to feel bad, so phrasing could say something like (using medieval as example):Attire: Medieval costume would be appreciated, but formal present-day attire is acceptable.They will understand your wishes, you could also mention that they are welcome to ask questions about what they wear. |
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SassyBride
Joined: 25 Feb 2008
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 5:19 am Post subject: Is it inappropriate or obnoxious in our invitation to sugges |
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| It's completely appropriate to suggest appropriate attire. Invitations do that all the time: "black tie" or "black tie optional" etc. So unless you're being obnoxious: "dinner jackets for the gentlemen, but please no purple..." it would help your guests to put in your attire suggestion. P.S. I like Jenna M's wording suggestion. |
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ramasanna
Joined: 11 Nov 2007
Posts: 5
Location: USA
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| Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 6:09 am Post subject: Is it inappropriate or obnoxious in our invitation to sugges |
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| Using the traditional descriptions for dress is acceptable, polite, and ususally expected by the guests, and very welcome. Black tie, casual dressy, casual. Put it at the bottom of the invitation. If your theme is, for instance, pirates, then you would write black tie, pirate costume suggested. That way people would know if you're not wearing pirate, what to wear, and you are not being demanding, just suggesting.I get aggravated when I am told I have to wear a particular thing, and it is not what I have in the closet, or something I would not wear. Tell me I have to wear a purple dress, when I am a guest, not a bridesmaid, and likely the price of the dress [considering the prices of nice dresses I just priced Saturday, the bride and groom would end up owing me] will be taken out of the budget for the wedding present, or I will choose to opt out, and stay home. The key here is suggesting, and asking, not telling and demanding. |
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ScottyJ
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 6
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| Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 7:00 am Post subject: Is it inappropriate or obnoxious in our invitation to sugges |
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| Given that you are having a theme, many people would find it useful if you included an insert with the invitation.The insert would explain that the theme is X and that all guests who choose are welcome to participate in the theme through their attire.If you need to expand on what that attire might include, this would be the place to do so. |
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ra4bat
Joined: 24 Jan 2008
Posts: 66
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| Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 7:50 am Post subject: Is it inappropriate or obnoxious in our invitation to sugges |
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| I would just put in an extra self typed slip in the invitation and let everyone know the "theme" of the wedding and leave it at that. some people may not want to dress up. some may get p.o.ed and think ur being ridiculous and not even show. |
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Shellykl
Joined: 27 Dec 2007
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 8:41 am Post subject: Is it inappropriate or obnoxious in our invitation to sugges |
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| On three separate occasions I had Brides and Grooms who wanted their wedding guests to dress "in a particular way" and to be honest with you most of the guests followed that request.Wedding # 1 . . The Bride and Groom wanted their guests "to get all dressed up." So the bottom left hand corner of the invitation read "Dress to impress"Wedding # 2 . . The Bride and Groom wanted their guests "to look sophisticated and classy." So the bottom left hand corner of the invitation read "Classy cocktail clothes only"Wedding # 3 . . The Bride and Groom wanted their guests to wear "tropical or Hawaiian theme clothes." So the bottom left hand corner of the invitation read "Beach comber hats, tropical shirts, and hula skirts are welcome"Answered by: A Certified wedding specialist / A Professional bridal consultant / A Wedding ceremony officiant |
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