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sebastianseks
Joined: 22 Mar 2007
Posts: 14
Location: rome
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 Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 3:13 pm Post subject: is it ok to get married at the courthouse and then have a re |
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| My fiance and i have had some problems in the past but ultimately know that we are going to always be together no matter what. he wants to get married at the courthouse RIGHT NOW even though i have a wedding dress and want a real wedding. i think that us getting married at the court house seems great (and i would have health insurance which is a big thing to him in case something should happen to me) but do you think its ok if we have a real ceremony later on in the future and keep our marriage a secret for now? whew. |
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seahawkfanabc
Joined: 20 Nov 2007
Posts: 19
Location: US
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| Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 3:42 pm Post subject: is it ok to get married at the courthouse and then have a re |
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| yeah its fine but usually no one ever actually has that wedding later |
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seahawkfanabc
Joined: 20 Nov 2007
Posts: 19
Location: US
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| Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 4:11 pm Post subject: is it ok to get married at the courthouse and then have a re |
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| Girl, I say go for it! We were thinking of doing the same... it is your business, no one else's. They don't need to know! Congrats to you both! |
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searcherra
Joined: 15 Jul 2007
Posts: 16
Location: USA
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| Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 4:41 pm Post subject: is it ok to get married at the courthouse and then have a re |
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| It's your wedding, do whatever you want! Have 5 ceremonies if you want to! (Heck, have 5 dresses!!) |
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sealink2
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 16
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| Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 5:10 pm Post subject: is it ok to get married at the courthouse and then have a re |
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| You need the legal docs filled out and some form of ceremony. This can all be done at the courthouse. The wedding is all just extra fluff (in the eyes of the law), so you can have a wedding whenever you want. Heck, you can have one every year (even week!). What makes it legal are the doc filed with the courthouse.You do what is best for your guys, you know your situation better than anyone here, so you make that call. |
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Seamless_11501
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 78
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| Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 5:39 pm Post subject: is it ok to get married at the courthouse and then have a re |
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| Sure, why not? Lots of people have the family celebration at a different time I think. |
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SE
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 45
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| Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 6:08 pm Post subject: is it ok to get married at the courthouse and then have a re |
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| I think it's a wonderful idea. I wish my boyfriend would let us do that. My parents did and one year later they had the church wedding. They have been married 35 years last Sept. |
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Seamless_11501
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 78
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| Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 6:37 pm Post subject: is it ok to get married at the courthouse and then have a re |
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| Be careful. Marriage doesn't cure problems that people have in their relationship. It tends to make them worse. So, I recommend that you go slow and work out the problems you've had before taking the step of getting married. Lots of people make the mistake of ignoring pre-marital problems, and then act surprised when they continue into the marriage. But people lose their right to complain about a behavior that they knew about before marriage.Moral of the story: Fix relationship problems first, get married second. Pressuring/rushing into marriage can be a danger sign, particularly if there has been a history of controlling/violent behavior. |
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searcherra
Joined: 15 Jul 2007
Posts: 16
Location: USA
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| Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 7:07 pm Post subject: is it ok to get married at the courthouse and then have a re |
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| Listen up everyone! The Real Ceremony is when you hear the words "I now pronounce you man & wife", whether it's in a court house, airplane, ship or wherever. Any ceremony after that is just SYMBOLIC.... The RECEPTION most times is referred to as the wedding is nothing but a celebration party.end of rant. |
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searchaaa
Joined: 30 Apr 2007
Posts: 49
Location: USA
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| Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 7:36 pm Post subject: is it ok to get married at the courthouse and then have a re |
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| No. If he loves you, he'll wait unless he has a real legitimate reason for being impatient. Getting married in a courthouse doesn't seem right. I personally wouldn't really feel married. But it IS still a wedding and keeping it a secret is just dumb. Go ahead and get married in a courthouse IF THAT'S WHAT Y-O-U WANT but you can't get married twice. However, you can exchange your vows again on an anniversary as long as there is an understanding between you and everyone else that is not the actual marriage ceremony. |
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Seashell
Joined: 27 Dec 2007
Posts: 18
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| Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 8:05 pm Post subject: is it ok to get married at the courthouse and then have a re |
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| Ok.... You could still have a ceremony that can be quick and cheap and still mean the same thing as the big shebang! But on the other hand there is nothing wrong with the courthouse thing you love him and he loves you that should be the only thing that matters!!! |
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Seamless_11501
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 78
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| Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 8:34 pm Post subject: is it ok to get married at the courthouse and then have a re |
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| Define 'real'. The courthouse marriage would be the legal one and the other would simply be a renewal of vows. I think it a very bad idea to keep it secret because despite your best intentions, it will leak out and cause hurt feelings that can't be repaired. What is his reasoning for wanting to get married right now rather than waiting? In order to make everyone happy and not cause permanent rifts in your families, you can move the wedding date up and don't keep it a secret. You can still wear your wedding dress but it may have to be a simpler affair than what you were originally planning. Or he can wait until your planned wedding date, but again, don't lie to anyone along the way. |
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Seamless_1
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 26
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| Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 9:04 pm Post subject: is it ok to get married at the courthouse and then have a re |
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| Don't keep your marriage a secret. Your real ceremony will be your courthouse ceremony. Someone is bound to find out that you're married and then the secret will be out. If you want a formal ceremony just wait and have that one. Otherwise just get married at the courthouse. You can have a reception later but having an actual ceremony seems like a moot point. You're already married. You could do a vowel renewal but whatever you do, DON'T lie to your family by keeping your marriage a secret. Make sure this is what both of you want and both of you should be willing to compromise. |
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Sdvwvbqt
Joined: 29 Sep 2007
Posts: 55
Location: Winuhoye
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| Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 9:33 pm Post subject: is it ok to get married at the courthouse and then have a re |
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| Well, the ceremony won't be "real" if you're already married. And chances are, some of your friends wouldn't be interested in attending if they knew you were already married. So you do have to let people know the real situation when your invite them to the ceremony. |
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seahawkfanabc
Joined: 20 Nov 2007
Posts: 19
Location: US
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| Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 10:02 pm Post subject: is it ok to get married at the courthouse and then have a re |
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| Do whatever makes you happy. My cousin got married at the court house, went on a honeymoon, and then around 6 months later had a wedding and reception (why she couldn't just wait 6 months for the real deal from the start is beyond me..). You can always wear your wedding gown to the court house as well as the formal wedding ceremony/reception if you choose to have one at a later date. Something to consider: It might be difficult to keep your marriage a secret until the formal ceremony, plus you'd have to delay any name changes or wearing a wedding ring. Just give everything a lot of thought - weigh the pros and cons of each option carefully - before making any decisions. |
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