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Nicloigopis
Joined: 01 Jun 2007
Posts: 7
Location: Dresden
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 Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 7:23 pm Post subject: My FM-IL wants us to get married in a church? |
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| It is you and your fiance's wedding, so if you both really want an outdoor wedding, then that's what you should do. Maybe he should tell his mother that this is the decision that you both came to and to please stop commenting about it. She can't respect your decision because it's not what she wants and doesn't have the grace to realize that it's NOT for her to decide and let it go. |
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Nick
Joined: 26 Nov 2007
Posts: 11
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| Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 8:11 pm Post subject: My FM-IL wants us to get married in a church? |
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| I've got two suggestions for you:1 - go to a Catholic Church and get the details on what you would have to go through in order to marry in the Catholic Church (there's alot of work!). You might find that the priest won't marry you, especially if you aren't "practicing" Catholics.2 - would you consider a Christian wedding (with a priest or minister) in order to compensate for not being in a Catholic Church? Also, many other denominations of Christian religions will marry you wherever you want. You could have a religious service without the Catholicism. |
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Nico
Joined: 24 Jan 2008
Posts: 12
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| Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 8:59 pm Post subject: My FM-IL wants us to get married in a church? |
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| Wow - I went through almost the exact same thing a few months ago. I was raised Catholic, and my fiance was not. We started going to a non-denom church right before we got engaged and decided to have our wedding done with that pastor and in a chapel close to where we live rather than in a Catholic church. My parents threw a fit. It was so stressful and just plain awful. I felt so far removed from my parents, which was especially painful because we have been so close. It made me not want to think about the wedding because of everything that was going on (which was practically impossible because we only had 8 months to plan at the time and needed to get on things). My point in saying all this is that I think my parents had more of a problem realizing that I wasn't Catholic anymore. There was probably also the issue that family would talk and gossip and whatnot, but I think it was really that my parents had always imagined me getting married in the church where they got married. I know everyone is saying that your fiance should talk to his mother and all, which could be a good idea, but I really think you should just wait and let her get used to the idea that the wedding she imagined for her son isn't the one that you guys want. My parents have since gotten used to the idea, and although the conversation still abruptly ends whenever I bring up our church, they've been really helpful with all the planning. Give her time to get used to the idea, listen to her when she talks and keep your cool. The more you try to fight against her, the more she will try to fight back. You have more than a year to plan the wedding and for things to cool down, which I'm sure they will. Best of luck. |
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NIFfickle
Joined: 27 Dec 2007
Posts: 10
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| Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 9:48 pm Post subject: My FM-IL wants us to get married in a church? |
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| it's your wedding ont your FMIL's. it should be you to you and what you want not her. |
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Nhuj
Joined: 24 Nov 2007
Posts: 14
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| Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 10:36 pm Post subject: My FM-IL wants us to get married in a church? |
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| You and your future husband do what the two of you believe. You have obviously talked about what faith will play in your roles as spouses, and with a future family, and have made your decision.But PLEASE understand how she feels -- they raised their son a certain way, and are disappointed. That doesn't mean she is mean or anything, it's a very natural reaction. It means tradition to parents, and doesn't mean she doesn't want the two of you to marry.You know, people will 'talk' regardless, you just can't do anything about it, but forge on.However, be kind and polite to her. After all, she raised the wonderful man you are marrying!Good luck! |
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