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CharlotteB
Joined: 24 Jan 2008
Posts: 4
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 Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 10:24 am Post subject: Old Indian ladies don't like me? |
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| I'm white and my partner is Indian. Neither of our families are racist and his parents were perfectly happy for him to marry a white girl, and my parents were equally happy to welcome him into our own family.The only trouble that we have is that we go to the temple on Sundays and the older Indian ladies won't talk to me and they keep doing silly things, like hiding my shoes or or purse or accidentally spilling water on me when they walk past me with their dinner-tray.None of them will talk to me. Well, one old lady does talk to me but I'm scared of losing her friendship and I don't dare tell her how I'm being treated because if she had to choose a side I think she would go with the older Indian ladies that are her friends.I feel so helpless. My HB never takes me seriously. He see's it as 'womens stuff' and he won't give me advice.The younger Indian women are lovely but (like myself) they're all busy with babies. I feel so aloneohsohot? what's this 'biracial' crap? Seriously? Are you for real? Get a life why don't you...If you have got anything to say osohot, then I'm more than prepared to listen. I didn't mean to be mean either. Sorry.No, my partner wasn't even born here. He was raised in Hyderabad and I was raised in Denmark. We were destined to be together but its strange how we were so far apart when we were both born. My father was a soldier and his father was a professor of marketing, and I'm a microbiologist and he's a pharmacist. |
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ohsohot
Joined: 24 Jan 2008
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 11:12 am Post subject: Old Indian ladies don't like me? |
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| hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!! don't take them so seriously. you're really giving them too much credit and attention.wow...being indian, i'm warning you..you DONT know what you're getting into. sorry to break this to you, but b/c of your bi-racial relationship, his peoples will never respect you.by the way, you're not hindu--so they don't like you being in the temple. you can't convert to our religion either.i'm really not trying to be mean. i dislike old indian people too...they never will change, understand or even openup their narrow minds. what i said above is how they think. it's pretty sad. i'm indian-not married or w/ kids, but you can be my friend on YA! and i'll break things down for you-if you'd like?i'm born here btw-1st generation (probably like your partner).btw, here's some advice with dealing with any kind of indian person: you should ignore them. i understand you want to fit right in, but you'll be happier just living your life. they don't understand feelings, especially for others. hopefully some will come around, if not-make some new friends somewhere else. hang in there. |
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RoneelN
Joined: 24 Jan 2008
Posts: 7
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| Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 12:00 pm Post subject: Old Indian ladies don't like me? |
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| I'm white and my partner is Indian. Neither of our families are racist and his parents were perfectly happy for him to marry a white girl, and my parents were equally happy to welcome him into our own family.The only trouble that we have is that we go to the temple on Sundays and the older Indian ladies won't talk to me and they keep doing silly things, like hiding my shoes or or purse or accidentally spilling water on me when they walk past me with their dinner-tray.None of them will talk to me. Well, one old lady does talk to me but I'm scared of losing her friendship and I don't dare tell her how I'm being treated because if she had to choose a side I think she would go with the older Indian ladies that are her friends.I feel so helpless. My HB never takes me seriously. He see's it as 'womens stuff' and he won't give me advice.The younger Indian women are lovely but (like myself) they're all busy with babies. I feel so alonejust talk with them a soon you are going have your self a good time!! |
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darshanp
Joined: 24 Jan 2008
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 12:48 pm Post subject: Old Indian ladies don't like me? |
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| hey i'm indian too and i know people in your position, its just that some indians just feel weird about having a white person in their society. its just something u have to get over |
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DeeDee
Joined: 24 Jan 2008
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 1:36 pm Post subject: Old Indian ladies don't like me? |
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| I am SO sorry that this is happening to you. You know what though? I think that women that old and from such traditional backgrounds are VERY difficult to change when they reach that point in their lives. Its very sad and frustrating but I think you should really keep your head up and keep on being the bigger person that you seem to be. I DO think that you need to stress how hurtful this is to your husband though. This isn't just a "woman" thing and you wouldn't feel so lonely if your husband was giving you more support. More than anyone, your husband should be there to make you feel confident among his social scene. You guys are supposed to be a team and he's leaving his team mate out there for the other team to pick on! While changing a bunch of old ladies will be difficult, having your husband support you when you are being made the victim shouldn't be. I hope you talk to him and I hope he comes around. If not, really examine what you feel your roles as husband and wife are supposed to mean to eachother. Will every other troubling issue that hurts you be viewed as a silly thing in the future? If so, that is going to prove a big problem. I hope things improve. I really feel for you on this one. My fiance is white and it really hurts me when my family or friends from home single him out. I take the time to show him I'm on his side and that I don't tolerate people picking on the person I care about and that means ALOT to him. He knows that he is NEVER alone if I'm there and you should too. |
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ChanakaVP
Joined: 24 Jan 2008
Posts: 3
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| Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 2:24 pm Post subject: Old Indian ladies don't like me? |
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| My advice is to tolerate it and be patient. Be calm. Always be helpful to them and be good. I know its hard but everything will be OK eventually. I got rid of a similar problem in this way in my past. Indians Specially Women, Specially old women are very traditional. |
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Cosette
Joined: 24 Jan 2008
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 3:12 pm Post subject: Old Indian ladies don't like me? |
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| Okay I'm sorry. I really don't agree with the people here telling you to "just deal with it". What kind of answer is that? I'm sure that being of that ethnicity you don't appreciate when people tell YOU to just deal with stereotypes! Why tell her to do it? I agree that the old women aren't worth addressing but your husband totally needs to step up and show you some support here. They may "just be" like that but when he marries you he makes a deal with you to be there when you're having a hard time. It's lame to shove it off as a chick problem. He doesn't need to confront them or anything but he could at least be there for you to vent to when you return home from service. I have so many Indian friends who dislike the stereotypes, don't add to them or create more. Just deal with it? Where would the world be if we "just dealt" with all the racism and stereotypes out there? Come on guys! |
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