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just_my_02c_worth
Joined: 18 Mar 2008
Posts: 3
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 Posted: Tue Mar 18, 2008 6:44 pm Post subject: Paying for the wedding? |
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| Generally, it has been the tradition in the USA that the parents of the bride pay for the wedding. Now, some still do, but if both the newlyweds work, they usually pay their way or share some of the costs with the parents of the bride.The parents of the groom usually pay for the rehearsal dinner, which can also run in the low to mid thousands of dollars.Have fun |
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Takeawalk
Joined: 18 Mar 2008
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Tue Mar 18, 2008 7:33 pm Post subject: Paying for the wedding? |
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| It's an old tradition that the brides family pay for the wedding and the grooms family pay for the rehearsal dinner and maybe the flowers. You can do it anyway you want, but I'd say if your dad has asked/offered to pay a portion consider saying "YES, THANKS DAD!!". He probably wants to do it as his way of saying, "I approve and I love you!" It would be great to give him the chance to be a big part of the wedding and helping pay is certainly something he has probably always thought he would do. |
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barthebear
Joined: 18 Mar 2008
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Tue Mar 18, 2008 8:23 pm Post subject: Paying for the wedding? |
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| You are very considerate. I think there is a blend of many ways that weddings are paid for these days but the past where the father paid to get the girl off his hands is over since most women are living on their own before marriage. |
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nova_queen_282058
Joined: 18 Mar 2008
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Tue Mar 18, 2008 9:12 pm Post subject: Paying for the wedding? |
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| We are paying for our wedding out of money that we have saved up and will save until the wedding day is here.We have ordered some things online for the wedding using a credit card, but we've paid it off ASAP. |
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melouofs8602
Joined: 18 Mar 2008
Posts: 3
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| Posted: Tue Mar 18, 2008 10:02 pm Post subject: Paying for the wedding? |
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| We didn't save for our wedding-not necessary. We paid the expenses with our regular income. His parents hosted a dinner the night before the wedding for everyone (destination wedding-33 people), as was their pleasure to do. We covered the rest. We spent about $15,000 ish, but really didn't have any kind of budget or keep track of our expenses-we just don't live like that. |
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B2B2008
Joined: 18 Mar 2008
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Tue Mar 18, 2008 10:51 pm Post subject: Paying for the wedding? |
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| we are paying for it all |
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SharonF5666
Joined: 18 Mar 2008
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Tue Mar 18, 2008 11:41 pm Post subject: Paying for the wedding? |
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| Since we are 33 my fiance and I assumed we would pay for our wedding, a few months into planning, I could tell my mom didnt like some of my ideas for saving money, I thought of skipping the salad course, just having drinks, hor doeurves, dinner, cake. She confessed that my dad and her were going to pay, but wanted to surprise us, which was not going to happen, how do you secretly pay for a wedding? Since they are paying the salad course is in, as well as a sweet table and favors and etc etc |
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May2347
Joined: 19 Mar 2008
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2008 12:30 am Post subject: Paying for the wedding? |
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| You're a very considerate child and it shows your maturity. If you are my child, I'll love you to bits! I hope my kids grow up to be like you too.My parents and parents-in-laws couldn't afford to pay for our wedding back then. We knew from the start that we will have to pay for everything and started saving. We cut down on dining at expensive restaurants, gifts etc. We didn't go for a lavish wedding and we only invited close family and friends to our chuirch wedding ceremony and dinner . We throuoghly enjoyed ourselves becos we knew that after the wedding we don't have the headache of dealing with debts.Well, I believe your Dad must have waited for this special day and he must have saved it for you too. May God bless him for his foresight and love. You should consider taking part of the money as wedding expenses can be huge. Or if you wish, you can borrow the entire sum and later repay him back. This way your dad can retire with a little more money for rainy days.Yes, my husband and I do not believe in spending what we can't afford and we settled everything single wedding expenses including credit cards immediately after the wedding.Congratulations! |
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Bellanoche
Joined: 19 Mar 2008
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2008 1:20 am Post subject: Paying for the wedding? |
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| We're paying for all of the expenses ourselves, and have been saving like squirrels in fall to make it happen. We don't want to borrow any money for the wedding. We're on track to pay cash for it all (we put some things ordered over the internet on a credit card, but paid those off when the bill came). However, I'm not snobbish about other people contributing to wedding costs. If someone offered to help pay for ours, I wouldn't turn them down. |
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Kate5824
Joined: 19 Mar 2008
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2008 2:09 am Post subject: Paying for the wedding? |
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| My fiance and I are paying for our wedding. Both of our parents have offered and wondered why we are doing this but we feel that we are the ones getting married ... we want to be the ones paying for it. We shopped around and decided exactly the things that we want. We are saving up money every month and we took out a small ($2500) loan to pay for most of the downpayments. My wedding planning has been stressful as well - not the planning or making the small decisions, but standing strong to the details (getting married he and I want) and not letting family members change our minds. After 6 months of planning by myself, my mom finally came around and is willing to go dress shopping with me. (Cross your fingers)Congrats on getting married, I'm sure the wedding will be wonderful. |
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TaraTot
Joined: 19 Mar 2008
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2008 2:59 am Post subject: Paying for the wedding? |
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| If he really, really wants to help then I'd let him. Whether it's your dress, photos, whatever - I'm sure it will make him so happy to do that for you. I know my dad doesn't have a lot of money but he wants to help so I'm letting him. As my dad says, "this is the day I'm giving my baby girl away, it better be a good one". Plus it's tradition. Don't feel bad about it if you're paying for everything else. It doesn't sound like you're a whiney brat that's begging for the world. Between my fiance and I, we have four sets of parents. They all wanted to help so we made a budget and we're all contributing $2000 dollars and having a very reasonable wedding. They've been waiting 11 years for this day. |
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lunchbox6878
Joined: 19 Mar 2008
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2008 3:48 am Post subject: Paying for the wedding? |
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| As soon as we got engaged, we both opened up high yield savings accounts and started saving. I knew my parents couldn't afford to pay for it, my dad had just lost his job and my mom is a train wreck...and his parents didn't offer, so we didn't ask. We saved for 2.5 years. My dad surprised us with a check that covered about 1/3 of our wedding, which was so great. Apparently, he also had been saving for the 2.5 years. His parents surprised us with covering the venue rental. So we saved up a ton of money, but didn't have to shell it all out. |
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dingding2780
Joined: 19 Mar 2008
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2008 4:38 am Post subject: Paying for the wedding? |
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| We are a "mature" couple...ours was about $8000 and we paid for it ourselves. The bottom line is, if your parents pay for it, they control it. I recommend to everyone that they pay for it themselves as much as possible to keep parents from trying to control the situation. |
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Elizabeth9289
Joined: 19 Mar 2008
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2008 5:27 am Post subject: Paying for the wedding? |
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| First off, I commend you for being mature and responsible and paying for your own wedding. In this day and age I believe it should be the norm rather than the exception.I was married once before and my parents paid for my first wedding - I was 21 years old and had literally just graduated from college so I couldn't afford a thing. My upcoming nuptials will be paid for entirely by me and my FH, because like you, we can't even fathom taking a dime from our parents now that we're older and out on our own. |
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RandalynB
Joined: 19 Mar 2008
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2008 6:17 am Post subject: Paying for the wedding? |
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| If your dad wants to help you 2 on with $$$ let him! |
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