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SearchertheBubbleQueen
Joined: 23 Feb 2008
Posts: 7
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 Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2008 3:11 pm Post subject: Please tell me why we shouldn't just elope tomorrow? |
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Ok, tell me if I'm crazy...But I have been trying sooo hard for the past 6 months on this wedding... And I KNOW everyone says "It's all about what you want" but it's not really, is it..I had just had enough last night and broke down in tears. I have tried so hard to please everyone, make everyone feel included and be easy going at the same time, but it's just gettng so hard.One example: I haven't expected anything of my bridesmaids, basically I've said "please come to my wedding and be a VIP, I'll buy you dinner, drinks, flowers, shoes and a beautiful dress, all you have to do is turn up!" and one wrote quite a mean email about how she's not feeling included, so I asked her to find some nice shawls for the BM's to wear, and now everything she has found and bought she just avoids me and rings my mother (?!)IDK.. I'm sorry to rant.. I wont even get started about the in-laws to be..Could someone please tell me a nice story about their wedding day to cheer me up?All I want is to marry James... Right now we just want to say 'Screw the money we've paid, let's run away now!"I'm scared that the 'Big Day' is just going to fly by, and any little thing that OTHER PEOPLE aren't happy with they are going to be chasing and bothering me about and I wont get to enjoy the night and my new husband...Basically, we feel like we've just ended up putting on a big expensive party for everyone else...Thanks for understanding everyone...  ) |
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OZZIEGAL0123
Joined: 26 Nov 2007
Posts: 3
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| Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2008 4:06 pm Post subject: Please tell me why we shouldn't just elope tomorrow? |
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| so elope. it will be fun. |
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Ricardo3984
Joined: 31 Jan 2008
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2008 5:01 pm Post subject: Please tell me why we shouldn't just elope tomorrow? |
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| We are going through the same thing eight now with out wedding. Keep your chin up and tell them it is your and you new husband's show not everyone Else's |
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smokeKent
Joined: 05 Apr 2008
Posts: 6
Location: USA
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| Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2008 5:57 pm Post subject: Please tell me why we shouldn't just elope tomorrow? |
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| same thought has crossed my mind. it really isn't whatever you want. well, i should say my mother & father are actually abiding by that rule. it is my FMIL who can't seem to get it. if i don't take any of her suggestions, she pouts & gives my FH the silent treatment. wants to make sure he sees she is upset. she actually told me she has "come to realize this is only my wedding." i thought it was... |
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slysis
Joined: 24 Nov 2007
Posts: 3
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| Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2008 6:52 pm Post subject: Please tell me why we shouldn't just elope tomorrow? |
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| I just got engaged and have already noticed people starting what you are talking about. You have to invite so and so, you have to do this, you have to do that. My parents are paying for my wedding so I have to listen, to an extent, but I already feel like saying back off. I am going to Vegas next week and am already thinking about eloping. I really hope everything gets better for you. If you are paying for things yourselves maybe you should just tell everyone what you said in your question. |
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randBrona
Joined: 23 Feb 2008
Posts: 2
Location: Jordan
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| Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2008 7:48 pm Post subject: Please tell me why we shouldn't just elope tomorrow? |
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| I don't have a nice story to tell you, as I'm getting married in 4 weeks, but I will tell you I know how you feel. I'm sorry that you're getting frustrated... I know the feeling. We had really wanted to have a destination wedding, but my parents (and their money) said we had to get married at home for the family and friends to be there. And now half my family isn't even coming, so yeah... I'm pretty upset and hurt too.The truth is... if you didn't go through all the hard work to make the wedding nice and try to help everyone feel included (your brides maids)... you would feel bad later if you just ran off and eloped. It may be fun and exciting for the 2 of you, but I'm sure it would be a difficult topic for you and your families for years to come. Just relax, you can not please everyone. Don't expect your wedding to be perfect and have everything go exactly as you wanted it to, because it won't. But enjoy this time, and also be glad that it won't last forever! |
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mriveru
Joined: 20 Apr 2008
Posts: 2
Location: Россия
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| Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2008 8:43 pm Post subject: Please tell me why we shouldn't just elope tomorrow? |
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| Usually, that is what weddings are... a party for everyone else to enjoy.By the time the wedding is here, the bride and groom are so exhausted and stressed out, they can't really enjoy their own wedding.I had a small simple ceremony and it was relatively stress free.Elope! Go have fun! It's not the wedding that's important, it's the marriage. |
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paralelogram
Joined: 25 Apr 2008
Posts: 3
Location: Czech Republic
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| Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2008 9:38 pm Post subject: Please tell me why we shouldn't just elope tomorrow? |
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| all wedding have stress, its a wedding, all brides feel this way trust me, if they dont I think there is a problem, I was crying up to the day of my wedding, stress, and emotions, but in the end everything came together and I had an amazing wedding and an amazing time, and wish I wouldnt of stressed out so much. Just trust me try to calm down and forget everyone else, its your day dont forget to have fun |
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smartypants1561
Joined: 12 Feb 2008
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2008 10:34 pm Post subject: Please tell me why we shouldn't just elope tomorrow? |
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| Hey Hun, I understand you are feeling over your limit and under appreciated. I ran into the same thing with my Fam, but luckily my mom in law came to the rescue. I an offer two things advice and a story. The Advice is this, have your wedding. you are so close the date it would haunt you that you didn't have it. but if you really want to, go elope now and then have the party, same day as the wedding. you can even have a smaller ceremony for your fam to see but let your officiant know that you eloped and you can let him and only him know. it will be you and your hubby's special secret. then have the freakin party that you worked so hard on! you DESERVE IT! :)As for a story, my wedding was so hectic all the way through, my mom didn't like that we werent having food, my grandma didn't like that the wedding party wasn't wearing shoes (that's right, no shoes my hubby and I hate shoes!!!) and my dad didn't like that he wasn't as involved. 2 of my Bridesmaids only showed for the wedding itself and not the shower or the bachette party OR the rehersal dinner and rehearsal!!!!!. and half my family wasn't speaking to the other. I made my own decorations and my husband and I payed for the wedding ourselves. the only person besides us who payed for anything was his momma who payed for the cake and payed for us to have nuts, snack mix, drinks, and a rehearsal dinner. so, all this being said. it was crazy. but the day of the wedding came and it was all OK. I didn't care if nobody was speaking. it wasn't my fault. I didn't care if somebody was upset that we didn't have food (we payed for the whole thing and I figured if they wanted food so bad they could invite us to dinner and we would be happy to go!) and I didn't care if something went wrong.I promise you will be so busy enjoying the look on your new hubby's face that you wont even be able to see straight! Please enjoy your day and know lots of Brides have this feeling. Congrats! |
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SandyEgo2507
Joined: 17 Apr 2008
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2008 11:29 pm Post subject: Please tell me why we shouldn't just elope tomorrow? |
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| My husband and I just went to the court house to get married instead of having the wedding I always wanted. I had always thought that it was supposed to be all about us but it didn't turn out that way. His uncle is a preacher and we were supposed to get married in his church, but every date that I picked wasn't good for anyone else. I literally chose at least 7 different dates. I was told that if we're going to do it,it had to be on a Saturday and it had to be when it was warm(generally as in summer) I had a dress and a lot of things planned other than when it was going to happen. We finally said screw every one we want to be married now not when it's convenient for every one else. Well that was almost 3 years ago and I almost regret it. I don't at all regret getting married, but I regret not having the wedding I always wanted. Nothing to fancy but in my dress in a church and everything. If I could take it back I wish we would havepicked a date stuck with it and if it didn't work for anyone else then oh well. If what ever else they were doing was more important than what ever.We are hopefuly eventualy going to have a ceremony where we renew our vows and have our family there this time.My point is, is if you've always dreamed of having a wedding then go through with it. Just stop trying to make every one else happy. It is yours and your husband to be's day. Don't be a bridezilla but you should at least be able to do things your way. Your bridesmaids should be involved in the process. Don't be bossy just tell them that you are getting stressed out and that you need their help with something. They aren't supposed to just show up the day of. To bad I didn't get the full experience but I think that every one's wedding planning is stressful. I'm sure it will all be worth it. |
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shortmastergarcia
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 7
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| Posted: Tue Apr 22, 2008 12:24 am Post subject: Please tell me why we shouldn't just elope tomorrow? |
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| I'm so sorry you've had such a difficult time. I think you need to just do what you want to do. You're not going to please everyone and you shouldn't have to anyway....I hate it when people think they should have a major say in how you plan YOUR wedding.... I feel very blessed to have the people I have around me now....they are very careful to make sure they don't rain on my parade! |
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sangretone
Joined: 20 Dec 2007
Posts: 10
Location: Canada
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| Posted: Tue Apr 22, 2008 1:20 am Post subject: Please tell me why we shouldn't just elope tomorrow? |
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| First take a deep breath. Then remember you can't please everyone all the time. You are right that the day isn't just for you. Usually, the wedding is for the bride and the reception is for the guests. One way you could get your bridesmaids involved is have an invitation addressing party and a party another day to put together the programs. Maybe a third to put together whatever the guests are going to throw. I know it's strange that some bridesmaids want to be involved but take advantage of the free help! Smile and say thank you for anything that they do. Also, be sure to get a little something extra to give to the ones that help and give it to them quietly and discreetly.I didn't expect anything from my bridesmaids either. I did the same thing, bought their dresses, flowers, paid to have their hair and nails done any way they wanted them done and paid for a limo to drive them around the day of the wedding to make them feel special. They all loved it which made me feel good. One of the reasons I didn't expect anything is because all my bridesmaids came from all over the country. So having them help wasn't really practical.If you need to vent about your future in laws or anything else, feel free to email me privately at mynxr@sbcglobal.net. Having been there done that and having the t-shirt and battle scars, I'll be glad to offer all the support and advice I can. |
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MsSuzEHomeBAKER
Joined: 24 Jan 2008
Posts: 5
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| Posted: Tue Apr 22, 2008 2:15 am Post subject: Please tell me why we shouldn't just elope tomorrow? |
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| I think you are trying to please too many people. Sod em if they don,t like it, tough it,s your wedding not their,s if they want to organise a wedding then they can do their own. If they dont want to come to your wedding it,s their loss not your,s. Have a wedding a people who want to come will come. The others. Well as I said sod em |
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ohmyfckinggod
Joined: 24 Jan 2008
Posts: 3
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| Posted: Tue Apr 22, 2008 3:11 am Post subject: Please tell me why we shouldn't just elope tomorrow? |
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| If you really don't think you two will enjoy yourselves, it would probably be better for you to run away and elope! It would be fun, spontaneous, and you wouldn't have to worry about anyone else! Good luck! |
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