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Blondie
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 10
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 Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2007 2:19 am Post subject: Pls Help? Advice really needed!? |
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| 6 weeks ago my father inlaw rang up and had an arguement with me over sitting on a table with my parents at our friends wedding, becaude my inlaws dont talk to my parents because they had a fight. I said to him then that if he can't go to someone elses wedding and act like a civilised adult then he should reconsider coming to our birthdays then. (meaning mine, my husbands and daughters then. He then said to me to stay away from their family functions. I said ok and then hanged up. My husband rang him back cause i had his dad on the loud speaker and said that his was way out of line for the way he was speaking to me. Anyway he told his mum that he turns his back on his dad now & that he is sick of the way they both treat us. i have seen her twice at two parties that we have went to but have only said hello and goodbye. My father inlaw wasn't at the parties. I said to my husband that she hardly said hello to us and then next week she will be ringing our door bell at our gates. week. Thats exactly what happened. She has been several times and i haven't opened the gate because i did not want to let her in with my husband being home, cause i just knew that she was going to have a fight with me. Today she caught me off guard at home and thats exactly what happened. she said that its all my fight that her son feels the way he does towards them, that he never behaved like this towards them, its only been since he's been with me(10years) thats it me, i'm the problem. She called me a cow and said that my husband and i are very jealous people and that she can't stand my family. she that to me about my family cause my husband and i said that if they come to our house out of respect that have to say hello to my family or they don't come. My father inlaw had a fight with his daughter at my mums house and tipped funiture and stuff upside down. she said that to me that what was the problem when my brother does that. What is wrong with her? Is she out of line? what do i doWe are upset the way we have been treated and then she comes today and says all that stuff to me. She also said that she knows how muc power a wife has over her husband and i can change his mind. I was telling her stuff about the games my sister inlaw play too with her lying and backstabbing to a cousin and she was denying it. i was telling her how they have been lying and she would say to me not to call them liers cause they not even though i had proof from other family members she was saying that she didn't believe it. i said to her that the minute we stick up for ourselves you kick us out. she has kicked my husband out of her house twice and me out twice. tell me what i should do keeping in mind we have a 3 year old son who adores his grandparents and is stuck in the middle.I forgot she also said that as far as they are concerned they only have one son and one daughter inlaw now. meaning that my husband and i no longer exist. |
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free_angel
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2007 2:29 am Post subject: Pls Help? Advice really needed!? |
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| Tell her for years your husband said they were crazy and you didn't believe it but now you do and your husband was right. |
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Blunt
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2007 2:40 am Post subject: Pls Help? Advice really needed!? |
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| Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!Real classy. |
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MISSYG
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2007 2:50 am Post subject: Pls Help? Advice really needed!? |
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| Best to ignore them and get on with your own lives, its their loss in the end. PS you can still let them have the granchild at say every 2nd sat for the day if you want but its entirely up to you and your husband. |
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DocPhil
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 16
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| Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2007 3:00 am Post subject: Pls Help? Advice really needed!? |
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| Sounds like you married into a really wacked out family. Your husband sounds like he is on your side so leave it up to him to take care of it. It is his family. |
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Robinmp
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 3
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| Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2007 3:11 am Post subject: Pls Help? Advice really needed!? |
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They sound like very controlling people and not ones that accept other ways. The only thing you did was marry their son and have opinions  It is their problem, not yours. I know it affects you and your life but you and your husband have to do what is best for you and your family. If his family doesn't like it that is their problem. |
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newbee
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2007 3:21 am Post subject: Pls Help? Advice really needed!? |
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| the inlaws r nuts stay away from them move far away if u guys can and tell them to stay away from ur family put up no trespassing signs on your gate and when they knock call the police and they will make her leave or u can file charges against her...id just call her outside and flat out give her what she deserves and her husband too if he said anything about it...sometimes a good a-whooping goes a long way!! |
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elisatorres1978
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2007 3:31 am Post subject: Pls Help? Advice really needed!? |
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| Well, hard as it may sound, I think you should not take it personally. Maybe they used to manipulate their son before and make him do whatever they wanted (for eg. stop dating that girl because they thought she was no good for him). My grandfather would really ill-treat my cousin's wife and children for some reason. It is useless to try to understand WHY. It is a real shame to see a full grown-up act as a spoilt kindergarten kid. And it is SAD to see that they fail to realize how much they are hurting everyone, even themselves. I don't know if there is anything to be done about it, but I think that arguing with them will just make things worse. They are evidently out of control and a negative comment will only fuel their madness. Personally, I would make a great effort to be nice to them: keep a smile on my face NO MATTER WHAT, and take them some present (a cake or something) when I visit, or make them their favourite food when they visit. Of course, you should not expect any gratitude on their part, at least for now. Most probably, they'll just keep on complaining. But I believe that someone's got to put an end to that ridiculous behaviour. If talking it over won't help, then talk no more and DO. Another thing you could do could be to try to change topic when they start talking someone down, you could compliment them on something they are wearing or talk about something 'important' (anything to stop them talking). Finally, the last thing that I can think of... if they love your son, what's more touching than a kid loving you?? I think it could be nice if he helped too. 'Mummy, Mummy... I want a picture with Grandma and you!!!' I would explain to him that Grandma and I have had a little problem, that you really love her and he's got to help you make up. Hm... I've run out of ideas... I hope something of all this makes sense to you and helps you solve your differences with your in-laws. The question is that it's up to both sides. I would strongly advise you to do your best to work out the differences, but knowing that it'll be hard work and there is really no guarantee anything you try will work. However, my grandparent stopped ill-treating my cousin's wife eventually. You've got to be strong and ignore anything they may say to hurt you or your family. They just don't know how to manage their frustration... caused by who knows what! If at least they SAID what the problem was. But I'm pretty sure they would never do it. They just find it fair to tell you what they think they think about you (ie. whatever negative ideas might come to their minds!).Keep trying, keep trying.... and Good luck! |
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