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inihex_hexpis
Joined: 07 Jun 2007
Posts: 15
Location: Germany
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 Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2007 2:14 pm Post subject: Violent Ex-Husband has new girlfriend? |
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| I have just found out that my ex-husband has been seeing someone for the last three weeks and has already introduced our three year old son to her. My ex was extremely violent throughout the marriage and very controlling. I left him after he smashed my head against the kitchen cupboard in front our our son (who was eighteen months old at the time). I have suspected for a couple of weeks that he is now seeing someone and he kept saying he wasn't but tonight he admitted it. I was so angry with him for lying and for letting her meet our son. I am really worried that after the 'honeymoon period' of this relationship is over that he will revert to type and start beating her up, potentially in front of our son. When we were first married he beat me up in front of his son, who was three at the time, from his first marriage. So I admit that I have told my ex that our son is not sleeping over at his house anymore and I don't want him to meet her again. Is this out of order???For the record he was arrested for hitting me in front of our son. I had to leave the marital home and have a panic button put in my house because he threatened to shoot me and then himself if I didn't go back to him. I work in a solicitors and know my legal rights and custody law and as there is no such thing as custody, only parental responsibility, as there has been no violence for the last six months that can't be used to prevent him seeing his son. I left him to stop our son seeing his father's violence. He has a good relationship with our son - he's just a crap husband. I don't care about him seeing someone, I just don't want our son to see the violence that I know will eventually happen. |
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inily_iniini
Joined: 30 May 2007
Posts: 15
Location: Dresden
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| Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2007 2:25 pm Post subject: Violent Ex-Husband has new girlfriend? |
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| yes it is out of order; he is your ex, you no longer have any say in what he does....If I were you, I'd be more concerned with my child being with HIM rather than being with his girlfriend.... |
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Inihotily
Joined: 31 May 2007
Posts: 13
Location: London
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| Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2007 2:36 pm Post subject: Violent Ex-Husband has new girlfriend? |
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| This man gone into therapy sought help for it?If yes give it a chance if not take ur kids alert his new gf run |
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Insedoeminymn
Joined: 12 Nov 2007
Posts: 8
Location: Fiji
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| Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2007 2:47 pm Post subject: Violent Ex-Husband has new girlfriend? |
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| your scared and worried, that understandable i dunno what else you can do. |
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inieck_qwepis
Joined: 06 Jun 2007
Posts: 12
Location: Dresden
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| Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2007 2:58 pm Post subject: Violent Ex-Husband has new girlfriend? |
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| if he beat you up you can file a protective order and he wont be able to see his son simple as that |
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Insedoeminymn
Joined: 12 Nov 2007
Posts: 8
Location: Fiji
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| Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2007 3:09 pm Post subject: Violent Ex-Husband has new girlfriend? |
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| No, totally okay. And I would tell his new girl, if you can get a hold of her. Definitely tell her, she needs to know. And get some kind of court order so your son can't legally spend the night at his dad's house. |
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inieck_qwepis
Joined: 06 Jun 2007
Posts: 12
Location: Dresden
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| Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2007 3:20 pm Post subject: Violent Ex-Husband has new girlfriend? |
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| yes it is , it is against the law for you to tell him what he can do with his child. unless it is in court orders that he can not have the child stay with him then you have no right to say anything. as for the other women in his life, that is his life and that has no bearing at all on your child with him. you need to let go and move on. stay out of his personal life and live your own. |
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inieck_qwepis
Joined: 06 Jun 2007
Posts: 12
Location: Dresden
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| Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2007 3:31 pm Post subject: Violent Ex-Husband has new girlfriend? |
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| Are you concerned about your son? or the fact that he has a new gf? cause you sound more concerned for her than anything else, if thats the case i can tell thats NON OF YOUR BUSSINESS, now, the child is, so always take care of him and hes a witness of one the scenes again call child protection on him. |
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innothita
Joined: 03 Sep 2007
Posts: 11
Location: Benin
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| Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2007 3:42 pm Post subject: Violent Ex-Husband has new girlfriend? |
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| What is out of order is that you have allowed your son to be unsupervised with him to begin with. When your husband beat you up the first time in front of his son, you should have realized what kind of a guy he was....called the police and had him arrested. Did you call the police when he abused you in front of your son? It sounds to me that you are failing to protect your son from his father. If there are no custody orders in place, get some! It's unfortunate, but you have allowed yourself and your son to be involved with an abusive man. You need to ensure...through the courts that your son is safe. If you didn't call the police and press charges in the past...it may be a struggle to keep him from his father until something else happens. Which is very scary and unfortunate. |
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inwadayseasy
Joined: 10 Sep 2007
Posts: 25
Location: Roma
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| Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2007 3:53 pm Post subject: Violent Ex-Husband has new girlfriend? |
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| Yes you are way out of line the law says he has the same rights as you and you may be putting your custody in jeopardy... If you are that concerned than you need to go to the new girl friend and tell her he is a wife beater and you don't want your son around while he is beating her as*...Because she will not believe you at first until he start beating her as* |
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Innocence
Joined: 24 Nov 2007
Posts: 12
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| Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2007 4:04 pm Post subject: Violent Ex-Husband has new girlfriend? |
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| Just a little, as she hasn't done anything wrong, he's the nasty one. I don't blame you for not letting yr son to sleep over at their place, I just hope that the new girl doesn't get beaten up from him!!! |
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Injuseacecync
Joined: 11 Nov 2007
Posts: 11
Location: AR
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| Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2007 4:15 pm Post subject: Violent Ex-Husband has new girlfriend? |
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| Yes, your ex is no longer your problem. He is your ex. Your concern should be the safety of your child and his exposure to violence and you can only find out that by asking your son how was his visit, (not pushy) but give your son the opportunity to tell you about his visit. If it's something going on that is inappropriate your son will let you know. |
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iniho_gora
Joined: 05 Jun 2007
Posts: 11
Location: Johannesburg
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| Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2007 4:26 pm Post subject: Violent Ex-Husband has new girlfriend? |
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| sometimes.. they will beat up one spouse or gf.. and then the next one that comes along.. they do not.. they may get along super great.. it really depends on the type of personalities involved.. she just may be one of the super sumessive type that will go along with everything he says and does.. like the sun sits and shines on him..if that is the case than he may not do that to her.. any way as for your son .. how old is he.. is he old enough to be able to tell you how things are going on over there when he is around.. if so and he wants to go over there i would not stop him.. but from reading what you wrote it seems like your a little jealous of him having a new gf and letting her meet your son..btw what happens if they marry each other.. so yeah you were a bit out of line.. but i do understand your concern..but even a 3 yr old can tell you if daddy hit someone |
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inily_iniini
Joined: 30 May 2007
Posts: 15
Location: Dresden
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| Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2007 4:38 pm Post subject: Violent Ex-Husband has new girlfriend? |
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| you should be happy he's going to bash her head in and not yours anymore. |
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