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DRAAGON
Joined: 02 Dec 2007
Posts: 3
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 Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 10:57 am Post subject: Wedding Etiquette? |
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| Who buys the bridesmaid dresses?Flower girl dress?Groomsmen attire?Mothers attire?Fathers attire?Is a rehearsal dinner expected? How does that work? After the rehearsal everyone goes out to dinner? Who should be invited? Who pays?Parents of bride are poor losers. Parents of groom are well off and offer to pay for wedding. Should I let them? If they pay, then should the invitation be reversed (i.e. says they request the attendance...)?Any other advice? |
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DoseofReality
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 3
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 11:04 am Post subject: Wedding Etiquette? |
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| Weddings can be financed a number of ways. Find a good wedding planner book and it'll show you a variety of options: where the groom pays most, bride pays most, split in half, etc.Invitation wording is NOT dictated by who pays more. The bride's family is always listed first. |
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Dorowmanrskuj
Joined: 16 Nov 2007
Posts: 2
Location: Oustralia
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 11:11 am Post subject: Wedding Etiquette? |
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| Google "wedding advice" and you will find all sorts of helpful websites that offer good suggestions. |
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Durlprorb
Joined: 17 Dec 2007
Posts: 1
Location: Hungary
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 11:18 am Post subject: Wedding Etiquette? |
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| Each person buys their own clothes for the wedding.If you have a rehearsal the evening before the ceremony, yes, a rehearsal dinner is expected. My cousin had no rehearsal, and therefore no rehearsal dinner. That was great. This is traditionally paid by the parents of the groom, but much more, the couple covers the whole shebang from rehearsal through honeymoon. Anyone involved in the wedding plus spouses or serious significant others should be involved, as well as any long distance relatives in for the wedding.I think if someone has the means and is interested in offering you the gift of paying for the wedding, it would be a wonderful blessing. Calling the bride's parents poor losers is in very poor taste, and maybe that is just the attitude that makes them not want to give their hard-earned money to the couple. I know I would never give my money to anyone who spoke of me like that-daughter or not. Invitations: if one set of parents is mentioned, the other set is due the same consideration, regardless of who is paying. The honor of your company is requested at the marriage of Jenny Smith, daughter of Robert and Kate Smith and Bill Bink, son of William and Thelma Bink. You don't want to slight anyone over money--that's rude. |
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ederikguner
Joined: 20 Dec 2007
Posts: 4
Location: Canada
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 11:24 am Post subject: Wedding Etiquette? |
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| 1. Bridesmaids and groomsmen pay for their own, but keep it reasonable and if they cannot afford you should pay for them.2. Parents pay for their own attire.3. Rehearsal dinner is for anyone at the rehearsal, plus any out-of-town guests. Traditionally grooms parents hosted the event, but it may also be hosted by the bride & groom.4. If parents of the groom offer to pay, thats very generous and they should be acknowledged as the hosts of the party on the invitation. Brides parents can be acknowledged with "daughter of Jack and Jane Smith", but not as the hosts.5. My advice would be to have the kind of wedding that you and your fiance can afford, without help from any parents. Then, if they want to help pay for a few things, thats great. But just be warned that if his parents pay for 100% of the wedding, you will be at their mercy. It didnt happen to me, but it happens on here all the time: the bride and groom lose control of what they want their wedding to be. Besides, if you are ready for marriage you should be ready to pay for the wedding, whether it is simple or extravagant. |
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edavbv
Joined: 19 Oct 2007
Posts: 2
Location: USA
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 11:31 am Post subject: Wedding Etiquette? |
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| As far as who pays, typically it's the bride and groom these days. The Bride's family is traditionally supposed to pay, with the Groom's family paying for the rehearsal dinner... but these days it's anything goes.A rehearsal dinner is expected; the immediate family and wedding party are usually the ones there. You can book a restaurant for your party and meet there or rent a hall and have a catered dinner brought in.On our invitations, since we paid for most of it ourselves, we just said "we would humbly like to invite you to witness our union, as two best friends become one" instead of mentioning either one of our families. No body noticed the difference. |
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EarlD
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 26
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 11:38 am Post subject: Wedding Etiquette? |
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| Traditionally, this is how it goes:Bridesmaids buy their own dresses.The flower girl (or her parents usually ) buys her own dress.Groomsmen rent their own tuxes.Mothers buy their own dresses, Dads rent their own tuxes.People usually have a rehearsal dinner the night before and the groom's family pays for it. You would invite anyone in the wedding and any immediate family or guests from out-of-town.If the groom's family wants to pay for the wedding, sure let them. Yes, if they pay you should reverse the invitation. Maybe see if the bride's parents want to pay for the rehearsal dinner so they don't feel left out but if they can't, you may want to just cover it yourself. |
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dodo1790
Joined: 03 Dec 2007
Posts: 5
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 11:45 am Post subject: Wedding Etiquette? |
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| If you want to pay for the wedding party attire as well as the parents attire, that is totally up to you. My wedding party paid for their own things. I was also in two other weddings where I paid for my dresses. It is to your discretion.Rehearsal dinner are nice because it gives everyone a chance to mingle and caters to the out of town guests that traveled in for the rehearsal. It can be as simple as a backyard barbecue or finger foods...or it can be as elaborate as you want.Not sure on the invitation wording part... I never like to place money value on the order of names on an invite. I think that regardless of the monetary donations, both sides would be proud to announce the marriage of their children... it is not meant to tell everyone who paid more. Typically, the brides parents are mentioned first... but there are so many ways to word invitations now that I am sure there will be the perfect approach for your situation. My invite didn't even put their names in it... we announced our own wedding since we did a ll the planning on our own. It said "We, n. and n., together with our parents..... It worked out well for us. Check out the internet for other options. Best wishes! |
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DreamerNat
Joined: 27 Aug 2007
Posts: 4
Location: Australia
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 11:52 am Post subject: Wedding Etiquette? |
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| 1. The bridemaids2. The FG parents, but gracious brides are paying for this now.3. The groomsmen4. the mother5. Father rents tuxRH? Yes, if you are having a wedding party and they have to buy/rent dresses and tuxes. yes, RH and a gift IS expected.Let them POG pay,Aditional advice? Yes. NEVER ever call your parents losers, Shame on you. Why not paying the wedding yourself as a responsible adult. |
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deb
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 6
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 11:59 am Post subject: Wedding Etiquette? |
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| well being you said the gooms family offered to pay for it let them dont put presure when its not needed, But dont let his mom or dad think then now have controle over the wedding my mom is trying it with me and yes whos ever parents pay for it are the one whos names are on the invite out of respect. or you can just put both setts of parents names on the invite if that doesnt offed the payers of the wedding. good luck |
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Donaldnorris
Joined: 07 Oct 2006
Posts: 4
Location: Hollywood
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 12:05 pm Post subject: Wedding Etiquette? |
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| From the best of my knowledge:Bridesmaid, flowergirls, groomsmen, mothers, fathers all pay for their own attire.Rehearsal dinner are generally expected, but they dont have to be formal. You could host it and have it catered at your venue, or have the reheardsal then go out to dinner or back to your place for dinner, etc. Usually it is paid for by whoever is paying for the wedding...A more casual dinner should invite whoever is in the wedding party and parents, and more formal would include grandparents, guests of honor, etc.It's fine to let them pay for the wedding if they are willing and you are comfortable. I believe the invites should still say both parents names, as long as the brides parents are contributing something even if it is just time, and the bride' sfamily is always listed first. Dont worry too much about following the rules, its good to keep them in mind but nowaday people improvise and guests understand that. Good luck! |
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dixiegurl
Joined: 03 Dec 2007
Posts: 3
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 12:12 pm Post subject: Wedding Etiquette? |
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| Who buys the bridesmaid dresses? The bridesmaids. If the bride is really well off, she can purchase these for them.Flower girl dress? The girl's parents. If the bride is really well off, she can purchase these for herGroomsmen attire? The groomsmen. If the groom is really well off, he can rent these for them.Mothers attire? The mothers!Fathers attire? The fathers! Is a rehearsal dinner expected? How does that work? After the rehearsal everyone goes out to dinner? Who should be invited? Who pays? Yes it's expected, but not required. Yes after the rehearsal you all go out to dinner. Toast-o-rama. All of the wedding party and anyone helping out with the ceremony. Parents of the bride and groom. Usually the grandparents. The officiant if you want to. Some people invite out of town guests, but I think that's overkill. The groom's parents usually host this, but really anyone can.Parents of bride are poor losers. Parents of groom are well off and offer to pay for wedding. Should I let them? If they pay, then should the invitation be reversed (i.e. says they request the attendance...)? Yes!!! accept their help. Offer to pay for things yourself too. The invitations can be generalTogether with their families_______ and ______request the pleasure of your company.Any other advice? Do worry too much about who traditionally pays for what. |
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DonnaW
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 5
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 12:19 pm Post subject: Wedding Etiquette? |
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| Let the grooms parents pay if they are willing. The invitation should still have brides parents first, but then have grooms parents. ie.mr. & mrs. so and so andmr. & mrs. so and so (groom)request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their childrenbride&groom(brides name comes first, so the brides parents come first)Rehearsal dinner is expected, and bride and groom pay (and normally hand out gifts to the wedding party)mother and father purchase their own attire usually.obviously if you could afford it you would buy the wedding party's attire, but most people now are purchasing their own if they are to be in a wedding. I say if you can, pay for the flower girls dress! thats nice! |
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DC4duedec7
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 12:26 pm Post subject: Wedding Etiquette? |
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| Bridesmaids buy their own dresses. The mother of the flower girl buys theirs. Mother and father buy their own. The mother's dress should compliment the bridal party colors. The mother of the groom is generally supposed to pay for the rehearsal dinner. Out of town guests and the bridal party, plus all the parents attend. Let them pay (groom's fam). That is your biggest expense. I would include both sets of parents on the invites. Trust me on this one. You don't want to offend either party. I am in the similar situation. Only other advice I can give is to expect that things may not run as smoothly as planned. Be prepared and good luck! |
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DvjViagraerrrrr
Joined: 29 Oct 2007
Posts: 4
Location: Dominican Republic
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 12:33 pm Post subject: Wedding Etiquette? |
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| here is wedding ediquette.. however, nothing is set in stone nowadays!everyone pays for their own attire.. parents pay for their children.. a rehearsal dinner is expected.. yes after the rehearsal everyone goes out to dinner.. you invite the entire bridal party, their guests, your officiant.. both sets of parents.. both sets of grandparents.. and if it is the day before the wedding then any out of town guests that will be in town at that time.. the grooms parents pay for this.. as far as the grooms parents paying for the wedding, i would accept it only if you know they will not try to control it.. make sure that it is meant as a gift and not so they can tell you how they want the wedding to be.. and as for the invitation, i wouldnt put any parents' names on the invitation in that case.. especially if your parents are contributing AT ALL.. just say "(bride's name) and (groom's name) together with their families invite you to share............." however if you know it wont bother your family, then you can put his parent's names on it... but like i said, nothing is set in stone anymore so use your own judgement! |
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