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Knvfqokn
Joined: 24 Sep 2007
Posts: 57
Location: Wipetowi
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 Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 3:39 am Post subject: How do I tell family members, that are flying in, we can onl |
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| We watched a couple get married at the Venetian the day before we married in Vegas-it was very pretty.We had 12 people attend our wedding, and instead of breaking the bank, we married at 5:30 and went to the buffet at the Paris Hotel afterwards. We visited the restaurant two days beforehand, the management there was super, and they put us in one of the rooms away from the main dining area-we ate by others, but everyone had an opportunity to talk with each other-would something like this work for you? The buffet at Planet Hollywood has a mediterannean flare, and I´ve heard it´s really good.Whatever happens, I wish you the best, and God bless you and your husband to be! |
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kojo_bralio
Joined: 07 Jun 2007
Posts: 66
Location: London
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| Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 3:43 am Post subject: How do I tell family members, that are flying in, we can onl |
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| give your mother a bill tell her she invited these people this is what it would cost to feed them. i would not pay or just do not tell them where the dinner is. but if your mother already did charge her. |
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knilymoummirm
Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 68
Location: USA
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| Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 3:46 am Post subject: How do I tell family members, that are flying in, we can onl |
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| If you wedding is at 1pm, having some punch and a cake or dessert as a mini reception is fine. You do not have to entertain everyone who comes the whole day. Just plan your dinner for later that evening, and if guests decide they want to go... let one of your bridesmaids, your sister, your mother or whoever let them know they will have to pay for their own dinner. |
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komutopizde
Joined: 31 Jan 2008
Posts: 11
Location: USA
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| Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 3:49 am Post subject: How do I tell family members, that are flying in, we can onl |
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| "Mom, FI and I have decided that we want a small wedding. We will only be inviting # people, and we will make the call on who those # people are. If you insist on going behind our backs and inviting other people, they will be turned away at the door. This is not up for discussion."The key is to be firm, but polite. Make sure you & FI are on the same page, so that if she asks him about it he can say the same thing. Then be ready to follow through - this may mean having someone to guard the entryway to the ceremony area.That said, whatever # of people you & FI decide to invite, you do need to feed them all. |
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knilymoummirm
Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 68
Location: USA
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| Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 3:52 am Post subject: How do I tell family members, that are flying in, we can onl |
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| ok well let see, you need to tell mom, like seriously sit down with her and say this is our budget and this is our guest list. You are not helping pay for the wedding and therefore its not fair of you to be inviting all these other people that i can not afford to pay for. We would like to have a small romantic wedding with just the immediate family! |
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koko96643
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 72
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| Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 3:56 am Post subject: How do I tell family members, that are flying in, we can onl |
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| Oh don't even listen to the others on here who use the cliche "you need to pay for everyone's meal who attends your wedding."This is a Vegas wedding, and that being said, they very often do not follow "proper wedding ettiquete" regarding anything.You have three options:1. Let your mom invite whomever she wants, like she is already. Tell her that any of them coming she has to pay for their dinner.2. Let your mom invite whomever she wants, and put on the invite the time and place of the dinner and mention the fact that this is not a sponsored meal, everyone pays for their own.3. Get hard on your mom and tell her that only the people who YOU invite to the dinner are allowed to come and eat, period.It is a very common thing in LV to have the wedding guests and party pay for ALL of their expenses themselves, from everything to airfare and food at the dinner. Tradition is essentially thrown out the window when you go to LV to get married. If it were me, I would invite the people your mom wants to invite and just tell everyone they are paying for their own meal on the wedding night..and then either take the wedding party out for their own meal you pay for, or take them to the spa for something. |
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Knuckles
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 65
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| Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 3:59 am Post subject: How do I tell family members, that are flying in, we can onl |
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| You know what I would be doing? I would only invite those that are very close to you. Only as many as you can afford to feed. Pay for their meals, it would be rude not to. If your mother insists on inviting people, you either put your foot down and say "NO!!! Absolutely not" or you tell her it is fine to invite whoever SHE wishes to pay for.She should be more understanding. If she isnt contributing towards the cost of the wedding, she has no right to invite people you probably wouldnt have invited anyways.It is your dream day, not hers. You shouldnt having to stress over this dilemma that wouldnt exist if you only invited the few people you guys wanted. Your Mother needs to understand the stress she is putting you under. And if she insists on inviting people you cant afford to feed, and she refuses to pay, well let her be the one to explain why they are not getting fed.Good luck. |
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Knuckles
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 65
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| Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 4:02 am Post subject: How do I tell family members, that are flying in, we can onl |
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| It's entirely against etiquette to invite people to the ceremony and not to the reception. If you can't afford to feed X amount of people, cut down the invitation list to Y amount of people. The whole point in the reception is to give your guests sutenance for travelling to see you get married. It also serves as a sort of "after-party" so that the families can meet and mingle. Only inviting a certain amount of people would give the uninvited guests the impression of "We're good enough to see them get married but not good enough to converse with after the ceremony?".Tell your mother about the financial situation. Let her know that you won't be able to afford X amount of people and you'll need to cut the guest list back. If she refuses, inform her that if she wants those extra people to attend that she will have to pay for them. |
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Knuckles
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 65
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| Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 4:05 am Post subject: How do I tell family members, that are flying in, we can onl |
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| I just spent $3000 for my family (me, hubby and 2 kids) to fly out of town for my sister's wedding, so I can see both sides of this issue. You have the right to have whatever kind of wedding you want to have. If you don't want to feed people, you certainly don't have to, but I would do your guests the courtesy of not scheduling events so that it coinsides with a standard mealtime. 1pm is dicey, because while lunch is generally noon, your guests have to be in place usually by 12:45, which means that they need to give themselves at least 30 minutes to travel to the ceremony location. Unless they eat a late brunch, they're going to be hungry by the time your ceremony is over. If you don't want to feed them a meal (and you certainly don't have to) I'd consider moving the ceremony start time up to 2 or 2:30. That way you can really justify not feeding people a meal other than cake and punch. In your invitation, I would word it something like this:The pleasure of your company is requestedat the wedding ceremony ofXand XdatetimeplaceCake and punch to be served immediately following the ceremony.That way, it leaves no doubt in anyone's mind that they are not getting a meal out of this. Then, if they decide that they want to spend the money to be with you on your wedding day anyway, then aren't you blessed to have such giving people in your lives? I will also state, I don't go to any wedding ceremony or reception for the fantastic food that I'm going to eat, I go to share my good will with the bride and groom, and wish them well as they start their lives together. |
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Kniliowly
Joined: 24 Dec 2007
Posts: 23
Location: Singapore
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| Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 4:09 am Post subject: How do I tell family members, that are flying in, we can onl |
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| Tell your mom that you will pay for the people you invited. Anyone she invited, SHE will pay for. Put your foot down, girl. Its your wedding, dont let her bamboozle you. If she wants to invite the world then she has to pay for it. Or tell them why they will not be eating. |
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Kniliowly
Joined: 24 Dec 2007
Posts: 23
Location: Singapore
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| Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 4:12 am Post subject: How do I tell family members, that are flying in, we can onl |
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| first and foremost take a deep breath chica =-)I know what your going through my fiancee and i are getting married in Las Vegas in June and we had to cut the list wayyyyy down.first you need to seriously sit down with your mother and have a heart to heart with her.Tell her plain and simple "This is our wedding mom. We're paying for it and we will not pay for anyone who is not on our list. I don't understand why you insist on inviting people without consulting us first. If people do not receive an invitation directly from us they're not invited. I'm sorry if you don't understand but that is the way it is."Secondly you don't HAVE to have a reception. jusat as Graciela stated it is Las Vegas.As far as wedding etiquette goes well all the snobby people in the world can pretty much shove it =-) It is one thing to have some manners but all this etiquette talk is a pile of crap. Besides who wrote the freakin rules for wedding etiquette anyway....anyone ever think of that question??Invite who you can to what you want. Your not gonna make everyone happy and the only peopl I would worry about are you and your groom.....Congratualtions!!!! |
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KolioQweku
Joined: 02 Jun 2007
Posts: 58
Location: Washington
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| Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 4:15 am Post subject: How do I tell family members, that are flying in, we can onl |
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| If your mom invited people, then she should help. Otherwise, it is EXTREMELY tacky to invite people to your wedding, expect them to fly all the way out there, and then not feed them. Only invite who you can afford to feed.I am having my wedding in Vegas, too and we are only inviting who we can afford to feed. I was in a friend's wedding and she only provided cake and open bar, which granted, is not cheap, but we were all starving and then liquored up! It is just not polite to do that.Sorry. |
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