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knilymbobbyic
Joined: 05 Dec 2007
Posts: 52
Location: Afghanistan
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 Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 5:00 am Post subject: I am starting to feel really bad about my wedding, what shou |
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| oh honey, I feel so bad, I wish I could help you!!! maybe nows the time to rekindle that relationship withh your mom. You want her there wether you will admit it to yourself or not...she's your mom...and its your wedding. This would be the perfect opportunity for the two of you to get alot of things done. If there is anything I can do to help, let me know!!! good luck sweety!!! |
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koko96643
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 72
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| Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 5:04 am Post subject: I am starting to feel really bad about my wedding, what shou |
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| You might try and talk to your future mother in law, I know my mother inlaw was thrilled that I wanted her to help me with stuff for the wedding, she is like a second mother to me and I know I can talk to her about everything. |
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knowitallssuckiamone
Joined: 20 Jan 2008
Posts: 54
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| Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 5:07 am Post subject: I am starting to feel really bad about my wedding, what shou |
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| What about work friends? They don't have to be super close to consider themselves a friend of yours...two girls from work actually WANTED to go with me to look at dresses. I think if there's anyone you are even sortof close to, you will find that they want to help. Girls love weddings. They love planning weddings, they love talking about weddings, etc. I think you should take a closer look at your circle of people, and you won't feel so lonely. |
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KolioQweku
Joined: 02 Jun 2007
Posts: 58
Location: Washington
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| Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 5:10 am Post subject: I am starting to feel really bad about my wedding, what shou |
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| As others have suggested, this is a good opportunity to strengthen relationships you do have. And talk to anyone at work or wherever you go.. not necessarily to make a friend for the wedding stuff, but just friends in general. Friendship is something you have to work at, and put effort into. Not to sound harsh, but if youd like to make friends.. get out there!And when/if you do go to dress fittings alone, just remember who you are buying the dress for.. its all for your fiance and no one else! |
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Knuckles
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 65
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| Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 5:13 am Post subject: I am starting to feel really bad about my wedding, what shou |
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| That's too bad. I'm sorry to hear that. I'm kind of in the same boat (not that I'm planning my wedding yet, but I really don't have any close friends, so I have no idea who I'm going to have as bridesmaids and whatnot). I'm sorry you feel lonely. I can imagine dress fittings and things of the sort could be pretty depressing alone. I agree, future SIL should be with you for most of these things, even though I know you said she works a lot. But try to make an effort to include her in these things as much as you can, on her schedule. It's her duty as MOH and you might get a good friend out of it. Other than that, we'll be your friends here on Y!A.This may sound kind of silly, but maybe you can find a blog of local girls talking about their weddings, and see if any of them are kind of in the same boat you are. If nothing else, you could meet once in a while for coffee to just talk about weddings and ideas. Maybe you'll find a good friend that way, as well. Where do you live, btw?? Maybe someone on here will be close to you. |
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knowitallssuckiamone
Joined: 20 Jan 2008
Posts: 54
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| Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 5:16 am Post subject: I am starting to feel really bad about my wedding, what shou |
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| you are doing a superb job of planning, all the questions of yours that i have seen are intelligent and thoughtful. could it be that after you are married your social status will change and it will give you much more exposure to friends because you will be part of a couple? are you are joiner? if you live in a big city you can be part of so many groups that support different things, perhaps being married will give you the time and the opportunity to do some things like that. it does not sound weird at all that you are at a certain point in time where you dont have as many other gals around you, if you are just out of school and are settlling in a new city, or, if you are at a different place in life than others you used to know, it is true that some short periods of time people do sometimes go from one group of friends to another. when i did my wedding i had just moved to los angeles and did not know anyone but my fiancee,. his family was nice but did not help me with anything, it was fine with me, and after being married i made a ton of friends, professional contacts, lots of volunteering for charity, it all worked out. say your guy is a doctor, you can meet tons of people being part of the hospital or charity auxiliary that supports the hospital. that kind of thing. i dont know how old you are but it takes time to develop friendships, it is worth the effort. and i just wish you could talk more to your mom, this could be a special time for the two of you, that would be very nice. so dont feel badly about the lack of people in your life at this short point in time, you are avoiding a lot of drama, if you read all the questions here, haha!! |
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Knvfqokn
Joined: 24 Sep 2007
Posts: 57
Location: Wipetowi
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| Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 5:19 am Post subject: I am starting to feel really bad about my wedding, what shou |
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| This is a tough situation to be in but could be a great chance to become close with ur soon to be SIL and cousins. maybe ask them to attend with you to do these funstions. I know you stated that ur MOH works a lot but maybe ask her what day she has off work and then ask her if on that day she would mind going here or there WITH you....maybe you have a co-worker you hang out with that maybe you are inviting and she wouldnt mind helping you out...If you lived in TX i would help ya out...i just moved here and dont know many people!! |
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knowitallssuckiamone
Joined: 20 Jan 2008
Posts: 54
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| Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 5:22 am Post subject: I am starting to feel really bad about my wedding, what shou |
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I know how you feel!! I have four bridesmaids and two are out of state...meaning they wont be there to help me, my mom tells me I can plan on my own because she thinks I aleady know what I want. But i dont...my other two bridesmaids are VERY busy. and my mother in law wants everything done her way. Its ok to have your fiance as your friend. He IS going to be your husband and he SHOULD be your best friend. I dont have girls to hang out with and if i did i would want to be with my fiance. And he can help you with stuff. Take him a long a let him HELP you pick out things. Im like you and I wont give him specicifc thigs to handle...I want to know that Ilike it before it goes through. But it is his wedding too and if he is willing to help..let him. Trust him enough becasue he should know your tastes..hes marrying you! keep your head up! Itll work out...its not so bad alone.  |
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kojo_bralio
Joined: 07 Jun 2007
Posts: 66
Location: London
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| Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 5:25 am Post subject: I am starting to feel really bad about my wedding, what shou |
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| Hi sweetie! I agree with Michelle J that if you let us know the general area where you live that many brides to be and caring girls would love to be your friend and accompany you to fittings etc. Sometimes when we reach out we get huge wonderful surprises! Who knows, you may find friends for life out of this. My challenge: let us know the general area of your location ie: your State or metropolitan area, and let's see how many people come rushing to your aid!! If I'm in your area I'll be first in line! |
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knowitallssuckiamone
Joined: 20 Jan 2008
Posts: 54
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| Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 5:28 am Post subject: I am starting to feel really bad about my wedding, what shou |
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| As a wedding coordinator, I would be more than happy to help you out anyway I can, and answer any questions you may have as well as provide guidance. Depending on where you live, I probably would not be able to be at your actual wedding to direct/coordinate, but I would love to help you out in the planning process in whatever way you need via email or phone.Please feel free to contact me at celebrationsbychristina@gmail.com. I want to help you!! |
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Kolkolina
Joined: 25 Apr 2007
Posts: 54
Location: Best
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| Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 5:31 am Post subject: I am starting to feel really bad about my wedding, what shou |
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| Don't feel bad. I planned my wedding mostly all on my own, as my MOH just started law school and works full time and both my bridesmaids are too busy with their own lives (and none of them have been married and wouldn't be much help anyway). What I did was get some few books and looked at websites like www.theknot.com a lot. There's a lot of resources out there like magazines and books (libraries are great!) that can help you save money if that's a factor.Remember, your wedding day will be most meaningful to you and your man, so make it into whatever you want. We didn't do a lot of the "traditional" things and it turned out perfectly for us. Also, let your fiance and your future in-laws help as much as you trust them to. And be organized! I'm sure things will be beautiful! Good luck! |
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kojo_bralio
Joined: 07 Jun 2007
Posts: 66
Location: London
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| Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 5:34 am Post subject: I am starting to feel really bad about my wedding, what shou |
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| I would try to include your sister-in law in order to strengthen your relationship. Your mother in law may jump at the chance to help you if you ask her..or you can sit down with her and explain how you're not close to your mom and see if she would be willing to help you do things a mother would normally do. If you live in L.A. I would be glad to help you! |
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KolioQweku
Joined: 02 Jun 2007
Posts: 58
Location: Washington
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| Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 5:37 am Post subject: I am starting to feel really bad about my wedding, what shou |
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| i can really really symphathize with you. For me, my mother died when I was 13. I have a much older sister, but she is so busy with her life that she doesn't have much time to help me. I do have a great maid of honor, an old friend from high school, and my 14 year old niece as bridesmaids, but I still don't feel like I really have anyone but my fiance to talk to about wedding stuff... he has been really patient though. Now my fiance wants another groomsman and I'm being forced into asking a friend who i'm not close to at ALL to be a bridesmaid. I know it may feel bad, I have had my sad days, but just think how happy you will be on your wedding day. Plus you don't have to deal with everyone trying to change your opinions about wedding plans, it will be a very personal day! Have you thought about asking your future MIL to help or go to fittings?I don't have much extra advice, but yahoo answers and all the other wedding blogs are a great place for all btb! so you are lucky in that aspect that you have all these resources to help! |
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Knuckles
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 65
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| Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 5:40 am Post subject: I am starting to feel really bad about my wedding, what shou |
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| hey you have family! we are right here! we love answering your questions and we are thrilled about your wedding! we love hearing the details, reading the questions and giving advice! i too, am a bit of a loner, and for the most part am quite happy with that but you are right, there are times that it would be nice to have a chum tag along with you as you get yourself ready. so here is what i do, i make friendly conversation with the clerks in the shops, i ask their honest opinion and usually get it, they are there to give you all the assistance you need and most of the time i find they are happy to chat and joke as i search for dresses and such! so chat them up and you will make your fittings special and fun! when you are having your fittings you may find other brides-to-be there as well, compare notes! ask them what they think of your gown on you, whether they think another shade of white would suit you better, whatever! most times people are happy to help and offer opinions! and you may find yourself making a new friend. make a date and get your bridesmaids and matron of honor together for a day. do your fittings, have lunch, look at shoes, etc. make it fun, 16 year old girls will jump at the chance to spend a day shopping for dresses, shoes, talk about hair styles and try out makeup! tell your sister-in-law she has to come! its a girls day! take them for lunch somewhere special, doesn't have to be terribly expensive but some place you usually don't go to! and if you have any questions, any ideas, any thoughts, come to us, your yahoo family and we'll be happy to help! take care sweetie and happy wedding!p.s. i am sorry about your mum and you. i had the same problem and i have to tell you, in the long run, it will make you a better mum. when you have a daughter you will work extra hard to be the kind of mum you wanted and your daughter will benefit - i worked hard to be everything she wasn't - to be a great mum and all four of my kids and i have great relationships! |
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