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falcon
Joined: 27 Dec 2007
Posts: 29
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 Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 9:10 am Post subject: What to do with wedding guest list . . .? |
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| I think it's a little weird to have strangers at my wedding. That being said, I also know that it is difficult to get people to dance and mingle when people don't know each other. We're inviting spouses, fiance(e)s for anyone who has one. Then we're inviting "guests" to ONLY those people who don't know *anyone* else. If someone can't stand the idea of showing up to your wedding alone, then they don't love you enough to be invited. You're better off without them. It'll shorten your guest list twice -- eliminating the strange "guests" and then eliminating the prissy people who won't come because they can't bring a guest. As far as people bringing a guest anyway, yes it is VERY rude and it happens from time to time. Most people know that it isn't appropriate, but others don't. It's important, therefore, to make your response cards very clear. Don't just write a line that says "M________________; _____ # of Guests" That leaves them open to confusion and the possibility of writing in additional guests because they think they can bring someone when really they're just supposed to RSVP for themselves (because they are single and being invited alone). So, what you do instead is you have a line that says, "One place has been reserved for you at our wedding. The courtesy of a response is requested by (date)." For those who have more than one invitee, you have some cards that say, "Two places have been reserved for you at our wedding. ..." etc. If you can't do a whole bunch of different types of cards, just have one that says, "_______ place(s) has/have been reserved for you at our wedding...." etc. That way you can fill in the blank as you are putting them in the envelopes. Or, if you have a LOT of DIY in you, you can do what I'm doing. I'm writing each individual guests' name on the RSVP card and just putting a box for them to check. That way they know who is invited and that more are not invited. |
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famimina
Joined: 20 Jan 2008
Posts: 35
Location: Netherlands Antilles
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| Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 9:17 am Post subject: What to do with wedding guest list . . .? |
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| Let's say I work with you, and I'm not married. Everyone else in the department is married. We all come to your wedding and reception, and we're sitting around the table, and all the husbands get drinks for the wives, and they dance, and there I am sitting alone. This has happened to me many times. I don't go to receptions unless I know other single people who will be there too. I go to a lot weddings, then head on home.If you invite me to your party, you probably want me to enjoy myself. I don't enjoy myself when I feel like a pariah. I don't expect you to pay more for me so I can bring a guest, but don't get your feelings hurt if I don't come.You're the one to decide where to cut your budget. Weigh the cost of the flowers or the food or the liquor against having your friends there. It's easy to get caught up in the perfect dress or meal or flowers or band, and forget that people and feelings are involved too. But the final choice is yours to make. I'll still send you a present, and I won't whine about it. But I'm not going to sit at a table alone either.On another note, the entire "and guest" thing is inappropriate. The experts say that if you're inviting Suzie's boyfriend, you need to call her and get his name and address, then send him his own invitation. The same experts say the RSVP cards are rude. They suggest your friends don't have the manners to reply to an invitation -- this is probably true because a lot of people show up who didn't rsvp and a lot don't show up who did. |
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Fasetmcmvf
Joined: 28 Sep 2007
Posts: 22
Location: USA
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| Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 9:25 am Post subject: What to do with wedding guest list . . .? |
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| To decrease the number of extra guests make the response cards very specific:Jane Doe __Will Attend __Will Not AttendJohn Doe __Will Attend __Will Not AttendThis will stop a lot of people from writing in extra guests. |
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FarajS
Joined: 24 Nov 2007
Posts: 32
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| Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 9:32 am Post subject: What to do with wedding guest list . . .? |
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| You can eliminate the "and guest" problem by eliminating the phrase "and guest."A wedding invitation should never say "and guest." The person you are inviting should either provide their guest's name or you should ask who they intend to bring as their guest.Miss Mary White (outside envelope)Mr. John Smith (outside envelope)And if you do not want any of your single friends who are not in a serious relationship or engaged to bring "a guest" then just put their name on the outside AND inside envelope.Mr. John Smith (outside envelope)John Smith (inside envelope)And just in case, John Smith does not know "the rules" then just put "John Smith" on his RSVP card and mark it ONE dinner.And if you receive a telephone call from John Smith asking if he can bring "a date" . . just tell him, "No, that is why I only put your name on the outside and inside envelope."As you already know . . everytime you add another name to your guest list "the cash register rings."Here are several other ways to cut your guest list down . . Eliminate all children under twelve years oldEliminate anyone you have not seen or talked to in the last two yearsOnly invite the co-workers that you socialize with "after working hours"Eliminate all of your parents' friends who you have never metEliminate all the "whiners" and "complainers" . . why buy a nice dinner for somone who is going to complain about it?Answered by: A Certified wedding specialist / A Professional bridal consultant / A Wedding ceremony officiant |
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