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Am I at fault?
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fakeblond475



Joined: 16 Jan 2008
Posts: 31

PostPosted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 7:53 pm    Post subject: Am I at fault? Reply with quote
short story:agreed to go to a wedding with an ex who im friends with (dated four years ago)invitations haven't gone out yet--the wedding is a month and a half awayi told him in not able to go now he's mad--should i feel bad--
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famimina



Joined: 20 Jan 2008
Posts: 35
Location: Netherlands Antilles

PostPosted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 7:57 pm    Post subject: Am I at fault? Reply with quote
no...he's your ex and for a reason...things come up last minute. He is just trying to make you feel guilty because he most likely wants you back
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famimina



Joined: 20 Jan 2008
Posts: 35
Location: Netherlands Antilles

PostPosted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 8:02 pm    Post subject: Am I at fault? Reply with quote
Personally, I would. If I told a friend (or ex) that I could go somewhere, I'd make sure there.Only acceptable excuse - death in the family, or something of that magnitude... but seeing that the wedding is in 6 weeks.... you have no excuse.Sorry, just my opinion.
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fanaticsep



Joined: 26 Nov 2007
Posts: 27
Location: USA

PostPosted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 8:06 pm    Post subject: Am I at fault? Reply with quote
No, he's your ex for a reason. You can go to the wedding, just don't let him tag along.
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fairypelican



Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 16

PostPosted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 8:11 pm    Post subject: Am I at fault? Reply with quote
Feeling bad is just a feeling. If you don't feel bad then you don't feel bad. It's that simple...It also depends on how close you guys are to begin with and the background story. Like, if you guys were friends BEFORE you dated.I, honestly, would just go to the wedding and deal with it but it depends on the friendship, again. If you aren't that close to him and feel no regret not going then don't go. If you feel like you'll feel worse going then don't go. It's that simple.Have you explained to him your reasonings?People like hearing why you do things.
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Fanthony



Joined: 17 Jul 2007
Posts: 38
Location: usa

PostPosted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 8:15 pm    Post subject: Am I at fault? Reply with quote
No...the invites are not officially out so it isn't as if you've backed out of a comitted 'yes, I'm coming'...let him pout...and after all he is an ex so put it in it's proper perspective...sounds like an immature person...Good Luck.
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Fanthony



Joined: 17 Jul 2007
Posts: 38
Location: usa

PostPosted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 8:20 pm    Post subject: Am I at fault? Reply with quote
He still has a month and a half to ask another friend. If you cancelled a week before, that would not be nice. But youve given him plenty of notice.
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FarajS



Joined: 24 Nov 2007
Posts: 32

PostPosted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 8:24 pm    Post subject: Am I at fault? Reply with quote
He will get over it...if something else came up...he will get over it
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Fanthony



Joined: 17 Jul 2007
Posts: 38
Location: usa

PostPosted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 8:29 pm    Post subject: Am I at fault? Reply with quote
I wouldn't he is your ex. Don't know if you have a BF now but if you do how does he feel
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famimina



Joined: 20 Jan 2008
Posts: 35
Location: Netherlands Antilles

PostPosted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 8:33 pm    Post subject: Am I at fault? Reply with quote
You agreed to go with him, and he was certainly your ex when you agreed to go with him. He was counting on you, as a friend, and you're letting him down. Granted, it's not the end of the world, I'm sure he can find someone else to go with him, but you've let a friend down. I generally try not to do that. When I tell I friend I'm doing something with/for them, I do it unless major extenuating circumstances completely beyond my control arise. Unless you have a pretty good reason for not being able to go now, yeah, he's got every right to be upset with you.
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Fanthony



Joined: 17 Jul 2007
Posts: 38
Location: usa

PostPosted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 8:38 pm    Post subject: Am I at fault? Reply with quote
No, you shouldn't feel bad.
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fairypelican



Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 16

PostPosted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 8:42 pm    Post subject: Am I at fault? Reply with quote
he def still likes you and was prob chuffed u were going with him... and now u have let him down which isnt ur fault hes feeling rejected as he prob thinks ur not really that bothered about him? cud be wrong... maybe he just dont wanna look like hes a loner! Anyway ur not in the wrong so dont worry. I think u need to talk 2 him if u think hes worth it... 2 either explain that hes a really good friend and thats it or work out what hes feeling and why hes so upset. Good luck hun! x
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famimina



Joined: 20 Jan 2008
Posts: 35
Location: Netherlands Antilles

PostPosted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 8:47 pm    Post subject: Am I at fault? Reply with quote
I don't think that I would be angry...but probably frustrated because I wouldn't want to go to a wedding alone, and now I have to figure out who I am going to bring with me as a date. But, I don't think you need to feel bad. It's not like it's a day before the wedding. He'll be fine as soon as hefinds someone else to go with him
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fanaticsep



Joined: 26 Nov 2007
Posts: 27
Location: USA

PostPosted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 8:51 pm    Post subject: Am I at fault? Reply with quote
Nope!
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fancypants



Joined: 14 Jan 2008
Posts: 32

PostPosted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 8:56 pm    Post subject: Am I at fault? Reply with quote
Hmmm....he seems like he is being slightly childish. You have given him ample time to find another "date". Personally, I wouldn't worry about it. Hope it all works out**
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