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VIDEOMEN
Joined: 08 Jul 2007
Posts: 23
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 Posted: Sun Nov 04, 2007 2:20 pm Post subject: Check this paragraph please any notes are highly appreciated |
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| The wedding in my country is considered as an important tradition of the culture. This tradition developed from the past to present. Bride's preparation for her wedding in the past was simple it is only contains henna and sorts of traditional oils and perfumes from head to toe. These days the preparation of wedding specially the bride costs much than before. The most effective factor in high price of wedding is the jewelry and gold. Another factor which it is the party of wedding if it in tent it will cost much money, but in hotel is much better to make the party. in Iraq, most people like doing their party of wedding in groom's house or bride's house. In the past, they use tent and the party only contains family member, but these days they expand the invitation by invite there friends, neighbors, and relatives. The celebrating of wedding took one week before the wedding night and one of the celebrating is the henna night, which is a very special night for the bride since it is a ladie |
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VidsShow
Joined: 26 Oct 2007
Posts: 27
Location: USA
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| Posted: Sun Nov 04, 2007 3:35 pm Post subject: Check this paragraph please any notes are highly appreciated |
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| Wedding is an important event in everybody's life. It can be made simple. Too much pomp and exhibitionism is to be avoided. Even in India this trend is coming. However the number of days --it use to be 5/6 days -- now reduced to maximum two. Ideal is registered marriage--over within an hour. Best wishes. |
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VidsShow
Joined: 26 Oct 2007
Posts: 27
Location: USA
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| Posted: Sun Nov 04, 2007 4:50 pm Post subject: Check this paragraph please any notes are highly appreciated |
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| Here are my edit notes:The wedding in my country is considered an important tradition of our culture. (you don't need "as" or "the" I replaced "the with "our" because it is unique to your country.This tradition evolved from the past to the present traditons practiced today.( I think evolve better describes what you are trying to say.)In the past, the Bride's preperation was simple, it only consisted of the Bride being prepared with henna, and tradional oils and perfumes from head to toe. ( Just rearranged the grammar.) Today the preperation of the Bride has become more costly with expectations of purchases of gold jewelry. Ok I won't do it all for you but gave you a head start, only in correcting your literature. I do not agree with your paragraph, weddings have been big ceremonies in any time and era recorded in the Bible from the beginning of time. Many times the Bride has no say even in the Groom she is to marry so it is not fair to say it is because of the Bride and what she needs to become one. Not everyone is the same |
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