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SpankyJ
Joined: 13 Dec 2007
Posts: 19
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 Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2008 5:41 pm Post subject: Pregnant with Famly Woes..Jealousy? |
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| Bear with me on this, its a long story but I need someones' opinion.I am currently pregnant with my second child, my step sister already has two children of her own with a mild age gap. I wanted to make sure the next and final time I have a child its with a man who's ready for fatherhood and marriage, thus I havent ever been married.My step sister has since been married twice, each wedding a shot gun type, and have been ideally hard on her and her first son. I dont believe in marriage based on a pregnancy, those always fall apart in the long run (atleast in the generation I live in) and we have our plans for marriage later after the baby is tended to (insurance reasons). However my step sibling has been acting odd, and hopefully I can relay *how* odd she has been.My step sibling has been clinging to her dad (my step father) even more so now that Im expecting my 2nd. She uses the kids to manipulate others ("Im so bored, I have nothing to do can i come over for the weekend?" types of calls from the kids to family and etc.There is barely a weekend she DOESNT have the kids) She only calls when she wants to discuss drama, ask for something or find out information about other family. Her 2nd marriage has been very difficult but she clings to her husband, despite improper treatment of her and her son from her 1st marriage.( both from her current husband and his family)Additionally as the two of us spoke about the coming pregnancy, she wanted to know when I was getting married. I told her after this little guy is out, state insurance is covering alot of my pregnancy and also I wanted to do the right thing for both the kids. Her response was "Well, thats what i said but his family insisted we get married prior, you can lie to the state and just get married I did.."My response was short, "Well Im not getting married for anyone else but for the better of our family."She let it drop but again she brought it up with my mother, about when we were going to get married. My mom relayed, "She isnt until the baby is born, its their decision." Thus the subject was dropped.Then it was about the gender of the baby, she insisted that I wont have a girl..because she intially wanted a girl and ended up with two boys herself. Well Im having a 2nd son, which is fine because I know the kind of girl I was and I dont really want to go through it. lol but it was the nastiness she has appealed with. But she shut off the nasty, and acted just plesant as pie. Its hard to determine her actions vs her emotions. Obviously Im missing something with her.The final straw was last week, I got a 4D ultra sound done with this child because with my previous child we quite honestly didnt have the technology and if was available it was very pricey. The Ultrasound was AMAZING, we saw his face and mannerisms all from the womb. I emailed the pics out family and friends, thus I cc'd her at work the email -texted her to let her know I sent out an email to her at work. She responded ok no problem.However she never texted back to say whether or not she got it, a week passed and she finally responded that she never got my mail and made a comment that sometimes she cannot get pictures. (I never mentioned I sent pictures)I told her I would cc her mom the pictures, but she then claimed her mom doesnt have her computer up and running and to email the pictures to her husband.Thus this I did, and she never responded on getting them or not.However as the text messaging conversation progressed (which I hate) she wanted to know where we recently moved and other info about the baby shower coming. She then offered to help with the shower, which is delayed as hell considering all things. As well as the move we had, we had to hire movers, because of my condition. It was all information seeking.Needless to say, she is still haunting my step father with calls and texts- daily. Which prior to my announcement of the pregnancy, she didnt call at all nor text.The baby shower is coming, and Im irritated. I know, politically in my family, my sister will be there. If I dont invite her, well its too much drama than having her there. The last party she came to with my friends and other family she and her husband spent the entire time discussing their financial hardships, cars being repo'd and other misc. too much information subjects.What do you all think? I have heard some theories from family on her actions, which are irritating...but as a third party..what does it appear to be and what can I do to de-fuse it? |
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spammerz852535
Joined: 21 Jan 2008
Posts: 9
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| Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2008 6:37 pm Post subject: Pregnant with Famly Woes..Jealousy? |
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| She's definately jealous of you! Dont sweat it, i have some friends, family,,, that are jealous of me right now. I dont know why either, cuz they all have kids too. When i tried to talk to my friend about my pregnancy cuz im just soo happy after trying for 3 years and nothing, and now im pregnant, she just brushed me off, and tried talking over me about her stupid boring job! I dont know why people get that way, they just do. I guess they get jealous cuz all of the attention focus' on you right now, and not them. Its probably NOT the fact that your preggers. Its the whole attention thing. Dont sweat it. I just stay away from them people, cuz something in their life isnt makeing them happy so therefore, they're jealous of your happiness right now, especially if you and you man are doing really good and are happy. Good luck 2 U |
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Speersloomo
Joined: 05 Feb 2008
Posts: 17
Location: Thailand
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| Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2008 7:33 pm Post subject: Pregnant with Famly Woes..Jealousy? |
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| wow thats the longest question ive read on here - congrats on the baby and dont worry about your step sis! shes defo trying to make YOU jealous and is trying to get all the attention she can! don't play her at her game just say "oh" and change the convo when she tries to show off! shes expecting you to say "...well i got this its better than you..." just wants a competition - don't give her one just be like good for you! |
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so_sincerious
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 17
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| Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2008 8:29 pm Post subject: Pregnant with Famly Woes..Jealousy? |
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| Hi Hun, well I feel really bad for you, your step sis is putting you through un-necessary stress which as you know isn't good for you or your baby, also she is being selfish.The way I see it, is that she is worried that when your baby comes along she isn't going to get any attention as it will all be drawn your way, which is what you want when a new baby comes into the family. So she is attention seeking and trying to make everything about her instead of about you and the baby, there was no need to make such a fuss about the email and pictures you sent her but she did because she wanted you to pay her attention, also she is trying to get people to feel sorry for her by telling anyone that will listen her financial difficulties which really isn't necessary. The fact that she tried to persuade you to bring your wedding forward tells me that she actually regrets getting married when she did, even though she was apparently put under pressure by her partners family, she regrets not standing up to those people and telling them what she actually wants, so therefore she is testing you, to see if you are just as weak as she was at giving in.Please do not let this step sis of yours take over everything and everyone. She is trying to rule the roost so to speak, trying to tell everyone what you should and shouldn't be doing in the hope that people will take her side and then force you to do something you don't want to. I think you should talk to her face to face and confront her with all that she has been doing, and tell her how much it upsets you, it will be difficult but if she has a heart she will backdown and say how sorry she is and explain why she is doing it, or it could got he other way that she denies everything you say to her and takes it one step further by telling everyone how rude you are being towards her and accusing her of things she hasn't said or done! I know this is a huge gamble, but I'm afraid its one your going to have to take, as I certainly wouldn't let a close relative tell me that I can't have a girl just because they didn't have one, that is pure spite and there is no need for it.Please confront her, you will feel alot better for it. Unfortunately you will have to invite her to your baby shower otherwise that is going to cause more problems, that you just don't need. Good luck with it all, and enjoy your baby shower, if you have to ignore her and don't even bite when she says something as that may be just the thing she is looking for out of you. |
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spammerz85
Joined: 20 Jan 2008
Posts: 7
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| Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2008 9:26 pm Post subject: Pregnant with Famly Woes..Jealousy? |
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| I think the both of you have issues with each other probably the step relationship maybe a bit of jealousy on both sides. I pity your parents getting it in the ear from both sides. You are obviously of mature enough years to get on with your own life so why not just do that and ignore your step sister if she is so bad. Its sounds like her life is a big mess and she needs to be the centre of attention and you announcing your pregnancy is maybe pushing her to the back as you take over the centre stage. Just stay out of the way of her you cant not be pregnant now so no way to defuse things. The baby shower well I could never understand these things its like asking for gifts, we don't do that over here in the UK but obviously you will be the centre of attraction on that day so expect fireworks from your step sister no way round it unless you dont have a shower. As for the insurance thing well I dont know if you mean state benefit or private insurance to cover the pregnancy and birth but if its state benefit well at least your sister didn't have the tax payers pay up for births and night of sex!!!!!!! if private then that's fine. |
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