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Speafeeasette
Joined: 15 Nov 2007
Posts: 14
Location: Poland
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 Posted: Tue Feb 26, 2008 4:11 pm Post subject: kick her out of the wedding party..or not? |
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| ok, so i got engaged about two months ago.. as soon as i got engaged i told our neighbors [who we arnt "that" close to] as soon as i told her she responded "im in the wedding party right" well, me not wanting to be the bad guy, i said sure. however i have great friends i grew up with for 10 years that i could invite and also good friends that i actually talk to several times a week and hang out with quite often. however, i havent talked to her in two weeks, havnt even seen her outside the house...should i tell her i think its best for me to ask someone i am better friends with, or just suck it up and have her in the wedding party. i dont want it to ruin the some what of a friendship we have...[she hasnt ordered her bridesmaid dress, so she isnt losing money...yet]help! |
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Sparky
Joined: 20 Jan 2008
Posts: 10
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| Posted: Tue Feb 26, 2008 4:31 pm Post subject: kick her out of the wedding party..or not? |
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| Just tell her sorry,but that only your family will be in the party. Most people understand that family is First! |
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sparkleythings_4you6582
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 18
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| Posted: Tue Feb 26, 2008 4:52 pm Post subject: kick her out of the wedding party..or not? |
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| What a dilema! Firstly it was a bit rude of the neighbour to catch you off guard like that. It's your wedding and for that reason I would invite whoever you like. Tell the woman that prior arrangments have already been made and the bridal party is already arranged. Tell her she is welcome to attend the reception. |
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so_what
Joined: 13 Jan 2008
Posts: 10
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| Posted: Tue Feb 26, 2008 5:12 pm Post subject: kick her out of the wedding party..or not? |
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| Just say you have a lot of family and friends that are going to be in it but you would be honored if she would still attend |
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SpankyJ
Joined: 13 Dec 2007
Posts: 19
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| Posted: Tue Feb 26, 2008 5:32 pm Post subject: kick her out of the wedding party..or not? |
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| This is a toughy... my husband did the same thing and we were kind of stuck with someone in our wedding but this particular person was given the honor of best man by mistake. Anyhow, if you are already to the dress ordering stage, it may be too late. If not, have you talked to her about the wedding other than that one instance? If so, if you/her has mentioned it and you did not already back down, it may be too late. The only kind way I could think of to tell her is "Well, me and (fiancee) have talked about it and we would like to to help with ...." Let her know you have greater obligations to other people/family. Maybe she can help cordinate at the ceremony or be the attendant at the guest book or something else of that nature. Good Luck on this one!!! |
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spencer
Joined: 27 Dec 2006
Posts: 12
Location: Baltimore, MD
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| Posted: Tue Feb 26, 2008 5:53 pm Post subject: kick her out of the wedding party..or not? |
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| I would tell her that you already had your bridesmaids picked out but you would really like her to be involved in some way in the wedding. Maybe she could act as an usher seating everyone at the ceremony, or be the one to hand out rose petals that people can throw at you, or umbrellas if it's raining. And you can give her a token gift before the wedding happens to let her know how much you appreciate her being able to help you on your wedding day. |
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sparkleythings_4you0885
Joined: 24 Jan 2008
Posts: 15
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| Posted: Tue Feb 26, 2008 6:13 pm Post subject: kick her out of the wedding party..or not? |
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| Eh, its not the end of the world. Do what will make you happy. She'll just be another member of the "kicked out of the wedding party club." Its much more polite to tell her to her face and to do it before she buys the dress. |
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SpellCheck
Joined: 21 Nov 2007
Posts: 22
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| Posted: Tue Feb 26, 2008 6:34 pm Post subject: kick her out of the wedding party..or not? |
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| When you see her again let her know that you need to talk to her. Tell her that you have been working on your wedding plans and unfortunately it won't work to have her in the bridal party. Let her know that you were put on the spot when she asked you and be honest that you were trying to be polite and thought that perhaps it would work but that now that you are in the planning stages it isn't going to work out. If you need to you can say that you are going to be having a childhood friend or relative(s) in the party and let her know that she will be invited (if you want to invite her). It was rude and presumptious of her to say what she said to you so don't feel bad. |
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sparkleythings_4you0522
Joined: 21 Jan 2008
Posts: 14
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| Posted: Tue Feb 26, 2008 6:54 pm Post subject: kick her out of the wedding party..or not? |
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| Sorry I can't tell you what to do but what a rude neighbor to invite herself to be in your wedding.My brother in law (brother of my brother-in-law, actually) is getting married this summer... I recently moved to the area. It is a fairly small wedding, and although I like both him and his fiance, I'm not super close with either and in no way expect to be invited to the wedding, and would never dream of imposing myself on their planning.If you do decide to tell her you've reconsidered I am sure she will be offended but it was really imposing of her to put you in that situation... although tacky is such an overused word in this forum, she was pretty tacky to do that to you. |
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sparkleythings_4you6582
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 18
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| Posted: Tue Feb 26, 2008 7:15 pm Post subject: kick her out of the wedding party..or not? |
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| I do agree that the neighbor was rude to assume that just because you live next door she has a right to be in your wedding.But seeing as you don't have much contact with her, I would see that it would be really hard for her to be in the Bridal Party. I mean, she lives next door and you haven't seen her in two weeks?I would tell her that after talking to your fiance, you realized you can't afford a large bridal party and you want to limit it to family and very close friends. If she doesn't understand then this is her problem. You don't invite yourself over to someone's house and you CERTAINLY don't invite yourself to be in their bridal party.This is your wedding day and your BP should only be made up of the people that you really want in it. The worst that can come out is she decides not to attend your wedding in which case I would say not to really worry about it. |
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spammerz85
Joined: 20 Jan 2008
Posts: 7
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| Posted: Tue Feb 26, 2008 7:35 pm Post subject: kick her out of the wedding party..or not? |
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| who cares about HER feelings its YOUR wedding and YOUR money! |
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SpankyJ
Joined: 13 Dec 2007
Posts: 19
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| Posted: Tue Feb 26, 2008 7:56 pm Post subject: kick her out of the wedding party..or not? |
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| I would ask her to be the guestbook attendant, or Mistress of Ceremony if you really want her to be included, but not in the wedding party..That way she still has an important roll, but a slightly lower one! She shouldnt have asked you if she was in the wedding party anyways, but i probably would have said yes she could be in the wedding, If i was asked like that up front! *Also, if she continues to not be in contact with you, then just an invite will do! |
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