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nikonfotos100
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 11
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 Posted: Tue Mar 11, 2008 1:56 pm Post subject: Should I agree to be part of the wedding dance - I'm a trans |
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As I wrote in a question recently, a few months ago my college roommates convinced me to let them help me out w/trying to present myself as a girl - it's been awesome! Socially, I only present myself as a woman now - though I still go to school in boy clothes - yuk. I don't really look much like a guy anymore even when dressed like that  though I don't quite look all girl either, without makeup and the right clothes. One of my roommates wants me to be in her wedding as a bridesmaid. (See old question). I've agreed - but I'm still holding my breath - she seemed very happy w/my decision. So today we're talking about the wedding which I loved - she is one of my best friends. Among other things, she mentioned the bridal dance and kidded me that she'd need to see which of her fiance's groomsmen is tall - I'm 5'8" w/o heels. Now I'm in a panic - I'm really worried the guy is going to embarrass me! She's so nice but should I just refuse? Or ask to talk to her fiance? Help! |
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Noelle
Joined: 24 Nov 2007
Posts: 36
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| Posted: Tue Mar 11, 2008 3:14 pm Post subject: Should I agree to be part of the wedding dance - I'm a trans |
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| forget the shame DO IT IS JUST FUN |
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nioogojei
Joined: 31 Oct 2007
Posts: 36
Location: Canada
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| Posted: Tue Mar 11, 2008 4:33 pm Post subject: Should I agree to be part of the wedding dance - I'm a trans |
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| Why not....work it! You'll be fine...breathe. |
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noogojei
Joined: 29 Oct 2007
Posts: 3
Location: Canada
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| Posted: Tue Mar 11, 2008 5:51 pm Post subject: Should I agree to be part of the wedding dance - I'm a trans |
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| You should make sure that the guy you are going to dance with knows that you're a transgendered (pre-op) beforehand. Not because I think he shouldn't dance with you, or because I think he won't want to, but for two good reasons. - He may consider you a guy, and he may have issues dancing with you. Wether or not this is a valid viewpoint, you should respect his right to have it, and let him make his own decision. - If he DOES have issues dancing with you, you want to get those issues out of the way NOW, not during the wedding. |
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nokiamango
Joined: 01 Nov 2007
Posts: 17
Location: UK
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| Posted: Tue Mar 11, 2008 7:10 pm Post subject: Should I agree to be part of the wedding dance - I'm a trans |
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| I understand your trepidation, but it is perfectly Ok to take part in the bridal dance. After all, if you plan on presenting yourself as a woman all evening, there is no need for your partner to ever find out what is between your legs, right?I am sure your friend won't pair you with a homophobic redneck ~ after all, this is her wedding day... if anyone causes a scene, it will not just embarrass you, it will ruin her day as well. No one wants that.However ~ along that same theme, I recommend that you don't do anything more than dance w/any of the guys there. Again, this is someone else's special day. Just be mysterious & flirtatious & have a good time!!Best of luck to you! =) |
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Nionaslin
Joined: 11 Jul 2007
Posts: 35
Location: USA
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| Posted: Tue Mar 11, 2008 8:28 pm Post subject: Should I agree to be part of the wedding dance - I'm a trans |
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| First, congratulations as you make your transition. I wish you all the best. Second, it is very important that you do what you are comfortable with. Furthermore, the groomsman that you will be partnered with needs to be informed and comfortable as well. As you know, not everyone understands what you are going through. If everyone is comfortable, go for it. If not, don't do it. It's not worth getting your feelings hurt. |
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Nonpayday
Joined: 17 Dec 2007
Posts: 3
Location: Barbados
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| Posted: Tue Mar 11, 2008 9:47 pm Post subject: Should I agree to be part of the wedding dance - I'm a trans |
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| No, you have a right to be concerned. Discuss your concerns with roomie and her fiance openly and freely.Oh, the height thing - don't worry about that. I'm only 5'4" but my fiance is not even 4'10;" and having been born with cerebral palsy, walks with crutches. One day he was lamenting about being short; to which I returned, "But darling, if you were taller, you wouldn't be able to rest your head between my breasts when we dance." He has never mentioned his height ever since.Finally, darling one, you'll look lovely in your dress - and be proud to wear those 8" stilettos! |
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nova_queen_283271
Joined: 12 Feb 2008
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Tue Mar 11, 2008 11:06 pm Post subject: Should I agree to be part of the wedding dance - I'm a trans |
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| I think wedding dances are TACKY so if it were me I wouldn't want to participate. |
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nimcuc
Joined: 20 Dec 2007
Posts: 5
Location: USA
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| Posted: Wed Mar 12, 2008 12:24 am Post subject: Should I agree to be part of the wedding dance - I'm a trans |
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| whats the question? You're worried about the dance? You're worried cause you're tall? All because you're transgendered?Just do it, take some pride in yourself and don't worry about whatever it is your worried about. If your confident it will show and you'll feel good that it did. |
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ninetyninfe
Joined: 01 Sep 2007
Posts: 25
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| Posted: Wed Mar 12, 2008 1:43 am Post subject: Should I agree to be part of the wedding dance - I'm a trans |
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| I know I'm not going to change your mind about all this "transgrendered" stuff, but I feel I have to say it: you are not a girl. Never have been, never will be - no matter how you mutilate your body. DNA doesn't lie.As far as the dance, whoever you're paired up to dance with should be informed that you are a male, despite your appearance at the time. He may understandably have a problem dancing with a man, especially if he is religious or something like that, so this problem needs to be addressed now. Whether that means the entire wedding party gets together one evening and you all agree who's dancing with who (and who's walking down the aisle with who), or you talk to each other over the phone, or whatever. But this needs to be dealt with soon. |
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NobbyNoidea
Joined: 03 Dec 2007
Posts: 33
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| Posted: Wed Mar 12, 2008 3:01 am Post subject: Should I agree to be part of the wedding dance - I'm a trans |
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| ditto Galaxie Girl |
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niklmk
Joined: 17 Oct 2007
Posts: 4
Location: USA
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| Posted: Wed Mar 12, 2008 4:20 am Post subject: Should I agree to be part of the wedding dance - I'm a trans |
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| Don't worry about the dance, it will be fun. You will be at your friends wedding, which means that the guy your going to be dancing with is also the friend of one or both of them and has no reason to embarass you, that would only ruin the the day for the bride and groom. |
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