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lordmisrule2004
Joined: 27 Dec 2007
Posts: 27
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 Posted: Mon Mar 10, 2008 3:08 pm Post subject: What's with all the people wanting to throw their own baby s |
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| Tacky, tacky, tacky...and any basic etiquette guidelines will tell you so. In years past, it was even considered to be in poor taste for a close relative, like your mother or sister, to throw you a shower, but the rules about that have slackened somewhat.But one rule has not changed, and that is that the parents to-be should not plan and host their own baby shower (or wedding shower). A "shower" is a party where people are encouraged to bring gifts to help the couple embark on a new stage in their lives. It is in incredibly poor taste to host a party like that for yourself. Leave that up to your family members, friends, or co-workers to handle, so they can throw a party with you as the guest of honor. If nobody offers to throw you a shower, you simply don't have one.So I wanted to know--if you received an invitation to a baby shower being thrown by the mother to-be, would you be offended? Would you attend? Just wondering....Thanks for the responses. I can understand not knowing the etiquette in that situation if it's something you were just unaware of, but when people repeatedly tell you "You shouldn't throw a shower for yourself because asking for gifts is in poor taste," and yet you STILL insist upon throwing yourself a shower, that's something else.Years ago, I had just started working at a bank, and there was a young woman who came into our branch every other week or so to cash her paycheck. She was pregnant, and decided to throw herself a baby shower, and what was worse was that she was inviting everyone she knew, not just close friends and relatives. She proceeded to invite a couple of women from our bank branch, whom she only knew from the few times a month she came in to do her banking--they weren't really people she could consider "friends." And as if that wasn't bad enough, she just gave them verbal invitations--she didn't even have the courtesy to mail them an invitation card! The two women from my bank decided not to attend her shower, and she actually came into the bank and gave them grief about it! The audacity of some people just astounds me. |
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LoogsFallvows
Joined: 24 Dec 2007
Posts: 17
Location: Ukraine
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| Posted: Mon Mar 10, 2008 3:57 pm Post subject: What's with all the people wanting to throw their own baby s |
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| No its very tacky!! JMO! |
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Loon-A-TiK2783
Joined: 26 Nov 2007
Posts: 10
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| Posted: Mon Mar 10, 2008 4:47 pm Post subject: What's with all the people wanting to throw their own baby s |
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| I would attend if she was a close friend or relative... |
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Lopomasag
Joined: 23 May 2007
Posts: 36
Location: Spain
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| Posted: Mon Mar 10, 2008 5:36 pm Post subject: What's with all the people wanting to throw their own baby s |
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| It doesn't really matter to me one bit who hosts the party it will all benefit the baby. |
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looxantagiota
Joined: 06 Nov 2007
Posts: 40
Location: NL
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| Posted: Mon Mar 10, 2008 6:25 pm Post subject: What's with all the people wanting to throw their own baby s |
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| I would probably feel so sorry for her that I would attend but I think it's waaaaay tacky. Someone in her family should step up and host it. |
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LOOVEBORDLOLI
Joined: 13 Dec 2007
Posts: 24
Location: USA
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| Posted: Mon Mar 10, 2008 7:14 pm Post subject: What's with all the people wanting to throw their own baby s |
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| Wouldn't matter to me, it's all for the baby anyways! |
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LookPornoSexy
Joined: 15 Jul 2007
Posts: 27
Location: USA
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| Posted: Mon Mar 10, 2008 8:03 pm Post subject: What's with all the people wanting to throw their own baby s |
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| I would go.......some people simply don't have "people" who are willing to have a shower for them.......Throwing showers generally cost money and alot of people in this era simply don't have the money, therefore they don't offer. |
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Lopomasag
Joined: 23 May 2007
Posts: 36
Location: Spain
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| Posted: Mon Mar 10, 2008 8:53 pm Post subject: What's with all the people wanting to throw their own baby s |
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| I completely agree with you, its very tacky....and another thing thats tacky is people who have baby showers for their second & third child etc...Makes that person look very greedy. If someone is planning on having more kids, I think it would make very good sense to hold on to the baby stuff they had from their first shower! They shouldn't need anything else.And I haven't yet been invited to a shower being thrown by the mother to be...but if I did I don't think I would attend....to me that just seems very tacky & selfish. |
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LooseChange
Joined: 27 Dec 2007
Posts: 17
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| Posted: Mon Mar 10, 2008 9:42 pm Post subject: What's with all the people wanting to throw their own baby s |
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| I hate it. It is so embarrassing. I would send a gift and make an excuse.. couldn't be a good friend or I would be throwing the shower.Geez louise.Thanks for pointing this out. |
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Loon-A-TiK1459
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 14
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| Posted: Mon Mar 10, 2008 10:31 pm Post subject: What's with all the people wanting to throw their own baby s |
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I would still attend, It would be odd, but still. i may be young but I've been taught those kind of rules. They have slacked off a bit much. I never had a shower with any of my kids, no one thought to throw me one...(boo hoo me...*sigh*) I almsot signed up for a baby registry online, and stopped myself. it's just weird asking for presents..LIke for Christmas or your birthday, you don't announce give me this..get this on the list. it's supposed to be a surprise. Anyways..You can hint..that's about it..After the fact that no one got me anything (yes I have plenty of family & friends) I almost wish I had thrown myself one. Strange or not, it would be better than wondering if anyone even cared.  now I feel bad... hope that doesn't come off self fish.. |
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looxantagiota
Joined: 06 Nov 2007
Posts: 40
Location: NL
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| Posted: Mon Mar 10, 2008 11:20 pm Post subject: What's with all the people wanting to throw their own baby s |
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I would definitely not attend. I agree with you, it's completely in bad taste to throw yourself a shower! Nothing more unmannerly than begging for gifts for yourself. I would, however, send a gift - because *I* still have etiquette. Plus it's fun to buy baby things.  |
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LooseChange
Joined: 27 Dec 2007
Posts: 17
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| Posted: Tue Mar 11, 2008 12:10 am Post subject: What's with all the people wanting to throw their own baby s |
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| I would probably comment on it being in poor taste, but I would still attend and I wouldnt really be offended. I guess, I dont let myself get worked up about things like that. Many other things going on this world that are worse than parents to be throwing their own baby shower. |
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LopUtinorip
Joined: 31 Aug 2007
Posts: 46
Location: Australia
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| Posted: Tue Mar 11, 2008 12:59 am Post subject: What's with all the people wanting to throw their own baby s |
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| I would neither attend nor send a gift. I would see no reason to continue a friendship with someone so greedy. I do not have issue with occasions where the shower is held at the mom's home. I've attended a few of those and it was because the hostess(es) had small apartments that couldn't accommodate all the guests. However, the mom-to-be didn't throw the party. |
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Loon-A-TiK1459
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 14
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| Posted: Tue Mar 11, 2008 1:48 am Post subject: What's with all the people wanting to throw their own baby s |
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| I am mixed about this. It would depend on the situation. I would probably go and bring a gift if I knew it was truly needed. I am having a second daughter very soon. We do have everything we need so... I would like to throw a welcome home party. I would specify on the invitations that we do not expect or need any gifts. If they would like to bring a dish to share that would be nice but also not necessary... I really want to have photo's for this baby's book. We have photo's of my first daughter's baby shower and I don't want this one to feel left out some day. She is important and I want her to feel celebrated too... My husbands mother talked about throwing the welcome home party but she talked about asking people for money instead of gifts. NOW THAT IS TACKY!!! i will not be a part of that. She also suggested we can play "pass the baby" where people can pay to hold the baby. ALSO TACKY!!! I will not allow my newborn to be passed around regardless of how much people pay!!! That's why I figured I would just do it myself. In this case I think it would be less tacky than the alternative. |
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