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Leila
Joined: 24 Jan 2008
Posts: 2
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 Posted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 9:33 pm Post subject: Cold cuts at a wedding?? |
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| My brother Is getting married in Aug to his finacee( whom i've never met but besides the point.) They are really low on cash and her parents are tight too. They were going to have a lunch style wedding at 11 am at a fire hall they rented and serve hogies. My family is flying in from all over the country to come to this thing. And all they are serveing is sandwiches and beer. Now me and my husband have gathered close friends of ours the do a hot buffet ( with amazingly good food) for free just pay for the cost of food ( 200-500$) , includes catering serve set up and everything. And free dj free invitations and free photography. as our gift to them. She would rather serve free hogies her mother is getting from work and beer. Do i have a right to be embarrassed and affended? Or am i being pushy? i just don't want my brothers wedding to be a complete joke. She can pick out what ever food she wants, i just think cold cuts are in approprate.my family will be spending a great deal of money just to attend. and i feel i have given her the oppertunity to give them at least a good meal in a reasonable budget. 500$$ for everything and that is the max! there are at least 100 + people invited to this thing. |
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fhotoace7964
Joined: 21 Jan 2008
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 10:27 pm Post subject: Cold cuts at a wedding?? |
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| She probably isn't making the best choice and you're right....some of the out of town guests are going to be upset that they spent a ton to attend and got a sandwich and some Coors.But it's not your call. It's their wedding....not yours. I understand where you are coming from but you've done all you can. You made the offer and the declined so it's time to butt out. As far as feeling embarassed and offended, well, you can disagree with their choices but they havn't done anything wrong to you. You are being a little pushy. Pushy with goodhearted reasons, but still pushy. |
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ImmusyUnush
Joined: 11 Feb 2008
Posts: 11
Location: France
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| Posted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 11:20 pm Post subject: Cold cuts at a wedding?? |
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| Who cares? It is their wedding and if you are too embarrassed to go then thats your issue. Fork over the money and buy something better! If you won't do that, then just go and have fun. Not everyone needs an expensive, lavish wedding! Weddings are to be a time of joy! |
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LineAgerII
Joined: 18 Mar 2007
Posts: 6
Location: RU
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| Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 12:14 am Post subject: Cold cuts at a wedding?? |
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| It's not your wedding, it's your brother's wedding. He and his bride to be get to decide what they want to do, and how they want to do it. And, there's absolutely NOTHING wrong with their plans, if that's the way they want to do it, then more power to them. You need to simply show up, accept their hospitality, and move on. I would imagine you've offended your future sis in law by stepping in and arranging stuff like you have. It doesn't matter if you think deli sandwiches and beer are inappropriate, it's NOT YOUR WEDDING. Sorry, I'm siding completely with your brother and his wife to be on this one. You need to back off, big time, before you wind up offending the heck out of them, if you haven't already.p.s. My family spent $3500 to travel to my sister's wedding in January. As a result of that, we don't have the money to take a spring break trip like we usually do. She had heavy hor'duerves at her reception. I wasn't offended at all--it was HER WEDDING. I wasn't going to her wedding to be fed, I was going to watch her get married, and support her on her special day. |
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liz0509
Joined: 21 Jan 2008
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 1:07 am Post subject: Cold cuts at a wedding?? |
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| Her weddign sounds like a joke. I dont know why anyone would choose coldcuts over a nice hot meal. I know it makes no sense, but do not be offended. You tried to help, now you must step back and let them have their wedding |
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Athena
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 3
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| Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 2:01 am Post subject: Cold cuts at a wedding?? |
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| I think that while your intentions are completely understandable...you have to let them have the kind of wedding they choose. I think if you want to be a good sister/in law you'll let them know that they should inform the guest that this will be a very informal wedding and tell them that they should not expect people to dress up. If the family wants to front the expense of flying in, that's their business...It's still a wedding...albeit a very different one from the kind you would have, and the family would still want to be there for them - cold cuts and all. |
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Jumpiprorkimb
Joined: 02 Nov 2007
Posts: 6
Location: HR
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| Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 2:54 am Post subject: Cold cuts at a wedding?? |
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| Do you care about going to your brother's wedding or about what lunch will be? I mean really, if you care that much, take them all out to a "family dinner" at a nice restaurant that evening, or for an expensive brunch, in lieu of a wedding gift. Five hundred bucks would buy good food for a small group. And before you try to be a wedding snob, it might be a good idea to learn to spell fiancee, hoagies, serving, they, offended, brother's, whatever, and inappropriate. Also, you might want to look into a grammar book for the use of commas, possessives, and how to create a complete sentence with a subject and a verb. Snotty of me??? No more so than your treatment of your bro. I'll get over it if you will.Maybe her mother wants to do everything she can as MOTB and she is doing that. Weddings and receptions are supposed to be celebrations of love and of uniting two families. I've actually been told by brides who invited me to their weddings that my gift "had better be equal to the cost of having me at the reception." Um, it was. I cost zero, because I didn't show up; I sent zero gift. It all worked out.If the bride's family is doing all they can (or all they believe they can) then your job as sibling of the groom is to go, get to know your new in-laws with an open mind, and if you need a steak or lobster (or rubber chicken...I'd rather have a hoagie!!!) go out later. And, I don't know in what part of the country the wedding's being held, but "hot food" in August in a lot of regions is not a great idea. |
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Kristy1876
Joined: 12 Feb 2008
Posts: 3
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| Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 3:48 am Post subject: Cold cuts at a wedding?? |
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| Actually, my friend had a wedding with cold cuts, cheese, buns, etc. They also had a bbq and were serving burgers and hotdogs. It was a "picnic" style wedding and was easily the best wedding I've been to. The light, casual lunch was a lot of fun and very relaxed. People don't need to be served a hot meal (I've been to 3 dessert-only receptions) and I don't think it's a joke just because they don't. Who cares? You can impress your family on your wedding. If you don't like it. Don't go. And, I didn't meet my sister-in-law until the day before my brother's wedding - I lived overseas. She's great and I'm getting to know her now. It doesn't matter - it's not like I could've stopped them from getting married if I had met her and didn't like her, you know? |
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DrSam6129
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 4:42 am Post subject: Cold cuts at a wedding?? |
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| If you're worried about the out-of-town guests not eating well, you can take all of the food that you want for the wedding and offer to sponsor a meal the day before or after. The bride may be worried about her mom's feelings too, which could explain her hesitance to change the food plans. |
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bonsi35
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 5:35 am Post subject: Cold cuts at a wedding?? |
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| You are being pushy. This isn't about you.If they are travelling, they will probably stay overnight. Have a lunch buffet at your house the next day. |
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Jennibean3894
Joined: 21 Jan 2008
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 6:29 am Post subject: Cold cuts at a wedding?? |
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| Maybe they don't have an extra $500. I think it was rude of you to question her menu. You shouldn't be offended because you offered and she has her own plan. The sandwiches may be something that they really enjoy and I think it is acceptable to serve. Depending on where they live, having a hot lunch in Aug. might not be great because of the weather. I say go to the wedding and enjoy yourself. If you don't like the food, don't eat, then go out to eat afterwords. If you are charging them for the food it isn't a gift. |
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Jessi
Joined: 13 Dec 2007
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 7:22 am Post subject: Cold cuts at a wedding?? |
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| Ok, my first thought is..whatever it is their wedding. But, I totally see your point. I deal with brides a lot and I have heard some talk about their plans and it takes all I have to say...are you serious....apply for the redneck wedding show, hahah. But I can not say anything, I just keep my mouth shut. This being your brother....maybe this is an idea. Tell him that the people that have offered to do this for him would be really offended if they declined the offer. Say that her mother is buying alcohol and that can be pricey, so we would really really like to do this for you. If they still say no to your offer of the better food and set up after that...well then there really is nothing you can do but smile nice for the camera, grin and bear it. Try that,....(brother) I really want to do the food, it is what I really want to give you as a gift..so and so and so and so are helping and we are all really excited about it.......! Maybe that will work. Maybe not. Hopefully....remember it is their wedding though, so you can not be too pushy or they will just get mad. Good luck. |
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