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NowThatsRealTalk
Joined: 24 Mar 2008
Posts: 2
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 Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 3:21 am Post subject: Is it out of bounds for me to initiate a "no holds barred" t |
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| When my husband & I announced our wedding date, his ex announced that she was moving 3,000 mi away from us & that she was taking his daughter. He disagreed. 3wks later, while my SD was on vacation w/my husband's mom, the bio mom showed up at GM house, 2500 mi away, & kidnapped his daughter. Missing for days, we contacted the authorities, including the FBI. 7 mos, a kidnapping, a "for sale" sign (while they were missing, she had her household items & her car moved across country), 3 mediations, 100's of heated arguments (my husband & her), 2 attys (we switched to an amazing atty), multiple hateful & selfish acts on her part, 5 psychics (her apparent confidants), one 8hr deposition full of lies, $40,000 & still no apology later she made an offer of joint custody. We accepted, but she is still playing games & I have had enough. I know we'll never get an apology (she has not an ounce of remorse), but I feel compelled to give her some of the many words I have saved just for her. |
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AlyssaM
Joined: 24 Mar 2008
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 4:16 am Post subject: Is it out of bounds for me to initiate a "no holds barred" t |
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| that is entirely too much drama to solve on yahoo |
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JustSomebody
Joined: 24 Mar 2008
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 5:11 am Post subject: Is it out of bounds for me to initiate a "no holds barred" t |
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| There were to many abbreviations to read this. To hard. But in my experience no matter how much you hate her or how much she messes up your life, it is better for you to stay out of it. My fiance stays It of it and I appreciate it. 5 years and he has not even met my ex. |
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Miss_Suzy
Joined: 24 Mar 2008
Posts: 3
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| Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 6:06 am Post subject: Is it out of bounds for me to initiate a "no holds barred" t |
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| I agree with Alyssa |
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Elsie9835
Joined: 24 Mar 2008
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 7:01 am Post subject: Is it out of bounds for me to initiate a "no holds barred" t |
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| Write them in a letter, then send it to the North Pole! Anything you say to her will only make her mad, and more inclined to more hateful and hurtful things that will no doubt have a negative affect on your stepchildren. I know how you feel--there are plenty of times I would have loved to say my peace with my husband's ex regarding the kids, but she's they type who would take it out on them. I try to fly below the radar, and so far in 10 years there have been no major meltdowns. Let your ex deal with her. You can voice your opinion to him, and he can do and say what he wants to her, but try to stay out of it. |
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gkarl3rd
Joined: 24 Mar 2008
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 7:56 am Post subject: Is it out of bounds for me to initiate a "no holds barred" t |
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| Hon, as long as you hold a grudge, she has control of your emotions. If you blast her verbally, and call her all kinds of nasty names, you will only make matters worse in the custody dispute.It sounds like she has been a royal by-otch. She WANTS to upset you. The best revenge is living well. And that means living in peace. You should take the "High Road." Forgive her. You don't have to tell her that you forgive her, although, that would really blow her mind and also cement the feeling in your own mind and heart. If you forgive her, and commit yourself to making the absolute best of a bad situation and let your "awesome" lawyer take care of the hard parts, you free yourself from her influence.if you are a Christian, pray on this, and God will show you the wisdom of this path, and help you achieve it. Good luck and God Bless. |
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Zero
Joined: 24 Mar 2008
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 8:51 am Post subject: Is it out of bounds for me to initiate a "no holds barred" t |
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| It may depend on how likely your 'talk' is going to disintegrate into some kind of brawl. I would anticipate that, in a civil situation likely there would be standoffish behaviour where both sides refuse to listen to each other and it's like throwing words at a brick wall. Basically it's up to you. If you feel that communication with her would get you somewhere and that it would get through you could try to initiate a conversation or send a letter. Personally I think it may be better to invest in a punching bag (if you don't have one already) |
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Alafiyah
Joined: 24 Mar 2008
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 9:46 am Post subject: Is it out of bounds for me to initiate a "no holds barred" t |
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| I know how you must feel! I'm so sorry you are going through this, I'm going through a similar situation myself. Multiple court visits, nasty custodial battle, disrespectful phone calls, heated arguments, and an "amber alert" later, and still no resolution!! I understand what you are going through, you are not alone. The only advice I can offer is prayer, that's what I'm going to do as well. I've just decided that battling with the devil ( my husbands "baby mama") will do nothing but cause stress and strain on not only me, but my husband, and the poor child that's caught in the middle. Just pray for her.. Pray that God lets her release whatever ill feelings she has towards you and your husband. I'm sure she will probably never apologize. I truly don't know what to say for woman that act that way. |
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Beautyispain
Joined: 24 Mar 2008
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 10:42 am Post subject: Is it out of bounds for me to initiate a "no holds barred" t |
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| If it will make you feel better...go for it. Although it will probably just make things more difficult for you and hubby in the long run. |
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Titus12
Joined: 24 Mar 2008
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 11:37 am Post subject: Is it out of bounds for me to initiate a "no holds barred" t |
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| Stand down fiance. You are not Mrs. yet. Besides it will make things a whole lot easier on your transition if you hold your peace. We all know you are steaming hot and would like to give her some of your mind but for the peace of your future husband and daughter peace is always best. After, marriage pounce on her like a lion on a mouse. |
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my2boyzkaiandaiden
Joined: 24 Mar 2008
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 12:32 pm Post subject: Is it out of bounds for me to initiate a "no holds barred" t |
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Oh my you sound just like I did years ago (6 to be exact) same situation almost. Well the best advice that you could recieve you will get from me  Tell her exactly how you feel. I mean if the court ordered for him to see her and he does have some set visitation of her then what the HELLOOOO is she gonna do? If she keeps the child and wont let her come she is breaking a court order and you can have her arrested. You can really be her worst nightmare and there is NOTHING she can do. Eventually I am sure the 2 of you will work it out. It is just jealousy making her act out. She is pissed because your man has long gone forgotten her, he is making lifelong plans with you and she cannot stand it. Things will get easier. She will eventually find someone else and get over your feance. Then later in life you can tell her that you dont have to be friends but you can get along civilized for the best intrest of the child. Thats the only common ground the 2 of you share. And if she doesnt settle for that, then just laugh about it your the one that came out on top anyway! Have fun with it even when you are pissed off sometimes. |
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b-mac34
Joined: 24 Mar 2008
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 1:27 pm Post subject: Is it out of bounds for me to initiate a "no holds barred" t |
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| The bottom line is she has you where she wants you. I had an ex that did the same thing. Here is what me and my wife did to fix that problem. Stop letting her know that she is pressing your buttons. When she calls and tries to push your buttons, be as calm, cool and collected as possible. At that point she won't know how to take you or the situation. Your finance is going to explode and that is expected of a man missing his kid. You have to be the strongest in this. It is not going to change over night.As far as you giving her a piece of your mind.........WHY? This will do nothing but give her more to mess with you about. She knows this is bothering you and will do anything to keep up mess in your home. You have to control this with patience and kindness. Even though it is hard to do, it works. Good Luck. |
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lindervish
Joined: 24 Mar 2008
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 2:22 pm Post subject: Is it out of bounds for me to initiate a "no holds barred" t |
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| Ugh - what a nightmare!Still, no matter how tempting it is, you need to stay out of it. Write a letter, get it all out and then burn the letter so you're never tempted to send it or re-read it. I'm glad you've stuck by your man and his daughter! She needs a stable home life and I'm glad you're helping to provide that. For her, you need to leave this alone. |
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Poppa
Joined: 24 Mar 2008
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 3:17 pm Post subject: Is it out of bounds for me to initiate a "no holds barred" t |
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| that's alot to deal with I'm going through the same thing and you get really tired and fed up that you want to punch her in the face. but all u need to do is support your husband and let the law to it's best . |
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Lee9571
Joined: 24 Mar 2008
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 4:12 pm Post subject: Is it out of bounds for me to initiate a "no holds barred" t |
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| (the abreviations make reading this hard)...What do you want to get out of talking to her? that's the question you have to ask yourself before you move forward! Do you want her to apologize (which you said you know she won't) then don't waste your time. If you want her to know that her actions are not something that you approve of (which I'm sure she already does) then I wouldn't do it either. If you simply want to get some words off your chest - though it will result in a HUGE drama scene that your step daughter should not be put through (she's been through ENOUGH - and that's what this is about) and continue this tug of war (with her being the rope)....Think about her - not about how you feel - while upset I'm sure you are, and have the right to be! However talking with people who have no sense of moral right and wrong really just seems like a waste of time, and like it will cause this little girl much more drama then she needs! |
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