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salamislimy
Joined: 18 Mar 2008
Posts: 3
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 Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 4:54 am Post subject: my wedding officiant wants to clash!??!!? |
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| A close female friend and neighbor is going to officiate at my wedding in less than 30 days. The theme is pink roses (In honor of my late mom) and the attire is pink, lilac, lavender & purple. I've gladly purchased all the attire for everyone in the wedding party, with the exception of her. She insisted on buying her own, which she did this morning. She intends to wear a BRIGHT LEMON YELLOW sundress to officiate!!! (She was well aware of the color scheme) I paid 1/2 the fee for her to reinstate her FL notary for this event. My MOH and other attendants don't think I'm overreacting when I say I'll just find another notary who will marry us and dress as I wish?!?? The officiant says I'm being silly. What do you think? I appreciate all opinions! Thanks! Maria |
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SipuffhaspFusl
Joined: 28 Mar 2008
Posts: 2
Location: ttriedecruitb
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| Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 5:54 am Post subject: my wedding officiant wants to clash!??!!? |
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| You are in NO WAY being silly it is you're day you told what the colors were and she wants to be different and take eyes off from you. Make her wear something else or find someone else. You're not being silly its You're day |
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raysor
Joined: 09 Mar 2008
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 6:55 am Post subject: my wedding officiant wants to clash!??!!? |
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| Yellow doesn't flow at all with the other colors... so i understand.. why doesn't she just wear a neutral color like most officiants???? She shouldn't have a wild color on... but she shouldn't have a color that makes her look like part of the wedding party either... |
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rufstop
Joined: 04 Mar 2008
Posts: 2
Location: USA
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| Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 7:55 am Post subject: my wedding officiant wants to clash!??!!? |
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| No you are right here she should not have chosed such a color when she was aware of the scheme. I think she is very inconsiderate and just used you to get her notary fees paid. Find someone else, it might end the friendship but she is not behaving like a friend so what will you loose |
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Poohiopea
Joined: 04 Jun 2007
Posts: 43
Location: United Arab Emirates
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| Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 8:56 am Post subject: my wedding officiant wants to clash!??!!? |
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RealityJack
Joined: 13 Dec 2007
Posts: 3
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| Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 9:57 am Post subject: my wedding officiant wants to clash!??!!? |
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| No, that's really weird. How could she not understand that? She'll be in all of the ceremony pictures. My Officiant gave me several options for attire to coordinate with us. |
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smartypants
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 5
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| Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 10:57 am Post subject: my wedding officiant wants to clash!??!!? |
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| If you were clear up front about your wishes, and she agreed to officiate knowing your desires, then no, you have every right to expect her to live up to the agreement.But if you weren't clear about what you expected her to wear then you are a bit out of luck. Perhaps you should offer to buy her a dress appropriate to what you want. Calmly explain that the color scheme is in honor of your mom and that you have a vision for how things will look and it would mean a lot to you if she helped you honor that.She's probably thinking that in most cases the officiant isn't really part of the "wedding party' and that in most cases what the officiant wears doesn't really matter.And although it seems like a huge disaster now, it really isn't a big deal in the scheme of things. She won't be in many photos at all and people certainly aren't going to judge your wedding on what she wears (like I said, it is more unusual than usual for the bride to coordinate the officiant as well, so that is probably what she is thinking). |
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sam
Joined: 13 Dec 2007
Posts: 5
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| Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 11:58 am Post subject: my wedding officiant wants to clash!??!!? |
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| She is out of line, this is your day and if you dont want a big lemmon at the front of your wedding then she should not wear it, a black womans suite or even in one of the wedding colors, but she is just being stubburn, if it was me if she did not change the dress then I would buy her some thing to go over it like what a preist wears and tell her she has to wear or she doesnt get to do the service, but I would be quick you are running out of time to find replacement if you go that route! Best of luck, I hope your lemmon head problem can be fixed. |
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RichardMorten
Joined: 07 Jun 2007
Posts: 3
Location: Canada
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| Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 12:58 pm Post subject: my wedding officiant wants to clash!??!!? |
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| Well, the officiant is not of your wedding party, so she can wear what she wants. But ususally, the officient wears some kind of badge of her office, like a clerical robe. But a sun dress on clergy? A little bit not appropriate for the situation. Well, look at it this way, she will certainly show up in the pictures. Your choice, kick her out [after you locate someone else to do the ceremony], and lose your money, or put up with her lack of taste. PS, you might want to say to her that a sundress on clergy is a little sexy for the situation. Does she need a date or something? |
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Reid
Joined: 20 Jan 2008
Posts: 5
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| Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 1:59 pm Post subject: my wedding officiant wants to clash!??!!? |
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| http://www.robeshop.com/pulpitw.htmShe needs a robe. If she is going to continue to officiate at weddings, she needs to invest in a robe. Most officiants wear a dark robe, unless asked to do otherwise. Tell her you will pay for the robe, if she will wear it.If she will not wear it? Then go ahead and find another notary, one who already owns a robe. But if you find another notary, you will probably lose this friendship. So you have to debate what is more important to you . . . matching colors? or the friendship? Good luck to you.Most officiants have sense enough to wear a robe . . . or at least wear a dark suit . . . a solid color dark suit. Perhaps if you imply it is the professional thing to do??? |
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reilmkera
Joined: 01 Feb 2008
Posts: 3
Location: Antarctica
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| Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 3:00 pm Post subject: my wedding officiant wants to clash!??!!? |
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| honestly, pink, lavender, lilac and purple all go well with yellow. It doesnt clash. She will stand out in the ceremony in yellow, but she will stand out regardless, she's the officiate. She will be standing in the middle of you all. So, with her in yellow, you in white and the rest in shades of purple and pink, it will be really pretty! If you dont like it still and want to find someone else, do so but you will be hurting your close friend and neighbor's feelings. |
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skateyskateyskate
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 4:00 pm Post subject: my wedding officiant wants to clash!??!!? |
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| Well usually the officiante wears what they want. They are not part of the wedding party |
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ren
Joined: 27 Dec 2007
Posts: 8
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| Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 5:01 pm Post subject: my wedding officiant wants to clash!??!!? |
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| Wow, I would be pissed. And why isn't she wearing a robe some sort? Most officiant know to dress in black or dark colors to blend.... I have seen then in tan suit for a summer wedding... NEVER Lemon Yellow. I agree- I would just get some else who knows how to dress appropriately. It sounds like she wants some attention..... ALL officiant wear netural colors- never something bright that draws attention to themselves. |
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Rooskie
Joined: 21 Jan 2008
Posts: 6
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| Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 6:02 pm Post subject: my wedding officiant wants to clash!??!!? |
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| Dear LadyW. What strikes me most is that this officiant was aware of your wishes, and went out and did what she pleased without speaking with you about this first. I personally don't know if the officiant needs to be color coordinated. However, this officiant knew this was your desire. If she disagreed, she should have spoken with you first about this, rather than going out and buying that disgusting lemon rag. I would first find another officiant who is willing to be more open and cooperative with you, and then address her very firmly and state that you are disappointed with her manner of conducting business and no longer need her services. Hopefully she kept her receipt and can return that yellow housedress. Or, she can use it for another ceremony. But, get rid of her before she sneaks in some other surprises. From the way she conducts herself, who knows, she might sneakily have you sign on the wrong line so that she winds up marrying your husband instead of you. Now, wouldn't that be frightful!!! Heavens!! |
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Shane101TWLThatDamnGood
Joined: 24 Feb 2008
Posts: 3
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| Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 7:02 pm Post subject: my wedding officiant wants to clash!??!!? |
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| you paid for half her notary, she should at least stick with your theme!!! |
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