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Verberspp
Joined: 11 Nov 2007
Posts: 11
Location: Tramadol
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 Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 6:51 am Post subject: Which is FUNNIEST joke ? Please choose one of 'em.? |
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| A guy goes to see a doctor because he's ...well, a little too well endowed, shall we say. In fact, it's 25 inches long. He can't get any women to have sex with him. The doctor says there's nothing he can do medically, but sends him to see a witch that he thinks might be able to help. The witch takes a look at the problem and tells him, "Go to a particular pond, deep in the forest, and talk to a frog that lives there. Ask the frog to marry you and each time the frog says 'no,' you'll be five inches shorter."The guy decides it's worth a try and dashes into the forest, as anyone in this sort of joke would, finds the pond, and sees the frog on the other side, sitting on a log. "Will you marry me?" he calls to the frog. The frog looks at him, disinterested at best, and calls back, "No."The Guy looks down and sure enough, he's five inches shorter. "Hey, this is great," he thinks to himself, "Let's try it again.""Will you marry me?" he asks the frog.The frog rolls his eyes, and shouts back again, "No!"Twitch! The guy's down to 15 inches. "Well, it's still a bit excessive," he thinks. "Down another five would be perfect." So he calls across again, "Will you marry me?"The frog yells back, "Look! How many times do I have to tell you? NO! NO! NO!"A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin.""What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?""Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be. Husband #2 was in software services; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me. Husband #3 was from field services; he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up. Husband #4 was in telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver. Husband #5 was an engineer; he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. Husband #6 was from finance and administration; he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not. Husband #7 was in marketing; although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. Husband #8 was a psychologist; all he ever did was talk about it. Husband #9 was a gynecologist; all he did was look at it. Husband #10 was a stamp collector; all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!""Good," said the new husband, "but, why?""You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"This woman is driving into a small town and slams on the brakes as a coyote runs across the road in front of her. Just as she regains her wits and gets ready to proceed, a cowboy runs right in front of her and catches the coyote by the hind legs and starts screwing it."Oh my God!" she exclaims and drives into town to find the local law. She sees the local sheriff's car parked in front of the town bar."It figures," she says as she storms inside. The first thing she notices is an old, old man with a long white beard sitting in the corner jacking-off. She runs up to the sheriff who's sitting at the bar with his drink."What kind of sick town are you running here? I drive into town and almost run over some cowboy sodomizing an animal.... and then ...I come in here ...and see this old man in the corner jacking-off right in public!""Well, ma'am," the sheriff slowly replies, "you don't expect him to catch a coyote at his age, do ya?"Every day a 4th grade boy walks home from school past a 4th grade girl's house. One day he he stops to taunt the little girl. He holds up the football and says "See this football? Football is a boys game and girls can't have one!"The little girl runs in the house crying and tells her mother about the encounter. She runs out and buys the girl a football. The next day the boy is riding home on his bike, and the girl shows him the football, yelling "Nah na nah na nah". The little boy gets mad and points to his bike. "See this bike? This is a boys bike, and girls can't have them!"Next day, the boy comes by and the little girl is riding a new boys bike. Now he is really mad. So he drops his pants, points at his private parts, and says "You see THIS? Only BOYS have these and your mother can't go buy you one!"The next day as he passes the house he asks the little girl "Well, what do you have to say NOW?"So she pulls up her dress, points to her private part and says "My mother told me that as long as I have one of these, I can have as many of THOSE as I want!" |
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vottsaws
Joined: 30 Mar 2008
Posts: 6
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| Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 9:56 am Post subject: Which is FUNNIEST joke ? Please choose one of 'em.? |
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| What's slimy and purple and crawling up a woman's leg?A homesick abortionShort and to the point. |
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Wonderstar
Joined: 31 Jan 2008
Posts: 3
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| Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 1:01 pm Post subject: Which is FUNNIEST joke ? Please choose one of 'em.? |
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| I liked them all except the 2nd to last one |
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Vero
Joined: 24 Jan 2008
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 4:06 pm Post subject: Which is FUNNIEST joke ? Please choose one of 'em.? |
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| the last one by far, still laughfing! |
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WataArrasp
Joined: 26 Feb 2008
Posts: 2
Location: World
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| Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 7:11 pm Post subject: Which is FUNNIEST joke ? Please choose one of 'em.? |
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| the last is funniestthird is stupidfirst and second are okay |
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WaxGahchotacy
Joined: 14 Mar 2008
Posts: 2
Location: United States
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| Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 10:16 pm Post subject: Which is FUNNIEST joke ? Please choose one of 'em.? |
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| i like the first one the best |
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XxRaDiAnTxTrAgEdYxX9127
Joined: 12 Feb 2008
Posts: 5
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| Posted: Sun Apr 06, 2008 1:21 am Post subject: Which is FUNNIEST joke ? Please choose one of 'em.? |
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| 1st |
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yodathetwentysecond6358
Joined: 11 Mar 2008
Posts: 6
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| Posted: Sun Apr 06, 2008 4:26 am Post subject: Which is FUNNIEST joke ? Please choose one of 'em.? |
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| nice ones |
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