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missguided
Joined: 12 Apr 2008
Posts: 1
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 Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 11:41 am Post subject: how do i get over my affair?? |
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| i have been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder... in short, it means i have a hard time regulating my emotions, i am very impulsive, extremely hard on myself, and have a hard time with stability. i'm married to an amazing man, whom i foolishly cheated on last year. he and i are trying to work things out, but i find myself still haunted by memories that i can't let go of. i also find that i am unable to gain closure, though i haven't spoken to the guy i was cheating with since the affair ended 8 months ago. i am angry with myself for not being able to move on, when even my husband has been incredibly patient and forgiving. i'm in induvidual therapy, and we are in marriage counseling, but i just can't forgive myself. and i can't shake the thoughts from my head. i want my marriage to work. i made a horrible mistake, and i regret it every moment of every day. so why can't i just gain closure already? |
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NDfan3841
Joined: 12 Apr 2008
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 2:46 pm Post subject: how do i get over my affair?? |
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| you have to forgive yourself to move on. don't blame your disorder, you just wanted some strange. |
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BabyD0524
Joined: 12 Apr 2008
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 5:51 pm Post subject: how do i get over my affair?? |
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| You can't gain closure until you can forgive yourself. I know this is very hard to do, but you have to! I would suggest some time alone in a quite place. It may help you find the place within yourself that will alow you to let go.Good luck! |
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BackW
Joined: 12 Apr 2008
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 8:56 pm Post subject: how do i get over my affair?? |
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| slow your life down... take the stress out of your life... admit your mistake and move your life forward... knowing that the mistake is behind you and you are in a committed relationship with your wonderful husband. Enjoy the simple things of life together... you will get over it... so let it go. |
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LelaA5530
Joined: 13 Apr 2008
Posts: 20
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| Posted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 12:01 am Post subject: how do i get over my affair?? |
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| seems like you have tons of issues to work out for yourself, consider doing some counseling to get yourself back on track with life |
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Lassie9243
Joined: 13 Apr 2008
Posts: 3
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| Posted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 3:06 am Post subject: how do i get over my affair?? |
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| Honey, there is no such thing as "closure". You simply have to put time and space between you and the bad man who helped you to destroy your marriage. This man also further set you back in your recovery for your BPD. He is no saint. You need to put the energy you put into this loser into your husband and marriage. That will be your closure. You won't find it from that other loser. He wants to see you destroyed. Had he cared about you, he'd have encouraged you to work on your BPD and your marriage. Instead, he just took from you. Another leech! |
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BikerChick1377
Joined: 13 Apr 2008
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 6:11 am Post subject: how do i get over my affair?? |
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| OK - get HELP!! Are you on medication? Are you seeing a therapist? If you are NOT, then you owe it to EVERYONE involved in your life to do it, and I mean NOW. |
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TheDuchess4977
Joined: 13 Apr 2008
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 9:17 am Post subject: how do i get over my affair?? |
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| It was up to your husband to forgive you and he shows that he has. If you want closure, then write a letter to this guy and be done with it. |
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