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How to tell family I don't want them at my wedding?

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Bride2B

Joined: 04 Apr 2008
Posts: 1

Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 10:05 am Post subject: How to tell family I don't want them at my wedding?

Hi Everyone,I'm getting married soon and I have some family members I don't want at my wedding. My other siblings are close with them, but I don't like them and neither does my fiance. Many of them are half siblings and their respective children, etc. I have a really big family and so we're not just talking about a few people, but potentially 25 or more if they bring all their families along. What's worse is that I know that the only reason they will come to my wedding is to hang out with other family and take a fun vacation to California. They don't particularly care for me in the first place!! My fiance & I are spending our life savings on this wedding and we just can't stand the idea of obnoxious people crashing it, even if we share the same father. What should I do?Thanks for your help!

LewP

Joined: 04 Apr 2008
Posts: 1

Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 12:58 pm Post subject: How to tell family I don't want them at my wedding?

As bad as this sounds, tell them this straight up. Don't beat around the bush, be honest and tell them what you posted here about not being close to them and your desire to have a small wedding. Either that our just don't send them an invitation. That usally gets the point across.

choccas

Joined: 04 Apr 2008
Posts: 2

Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 3:51 pm Post subject: How to tell family I don't want them at my wedding?

Invite who you want to invite. Should anyone ask anything about it, explain that you are having a small intimate wedding. That's it.

NicoleF

Joined: 04 Apr 2008
Posts: 1

Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 6:44 pm Post subject: How to tell family I don't want them at my wedding?

Just say straight out that you are having a small wedding that you are spending x amount of dollars on and you really only want your closest friends and family there. If some people threaten to not come because such and such isnt coming then tell the that im sorry you feel that way but we will send you a photo afterwards. Something similar happened at my cousins wedding and she ended up forking over money for people that she didint even like because some of our family members threatened not to come. Call their bluff I say!These people even left like 2 hours after the ceremony!

eggie

Joined: 04 Apr 2008
Posts: 4

Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 9:37 pm Post subject: How to tell family I don't want them at my wedding?

at first, even you are not going to get married "you have hatred"with these people already because they're are your half siblings...and now you are married,you don't want to have them in your special day....THIS IS YOUR DAY, SO YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT...but approach them politely...and don't offend them....remember "you are not holding the hands of time", these history will repeat again and by that time you will be in their shoes and you will surely be hurt....

Legandivori

Joined: 05 Apr 2008
Posts: 1

Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 12:29 am Post subject: How to tell family I don't want them at my wedding?

I hear you very lound and clear...Choices:1. ELOPE AND DO SOMETHING BETTER WITH THE DOUGH.2. Invite who you want. End of discussion... and make it CLEAR there if you are asked by anyone from the invited list that are space limitations and other considerations which you and your fiancee will NOT bend on which have resulted in your choices as to who you would want to attend due to conflicts or illness. Some may not show even if invited due to a warped sense of family loyalty. I'd make SURE I'd have ZERO to do with them ever again if they say anything nasty or condescending to challenge your decision. You have the RIGHT to invite who you want. However, someone not invited may call or email or write a letter and ask why they are not invited. If you don't like them, ingnore it, raht5er than open up nests of family snakes. Don't be nasty back by accusations and explanations to those you don't care about. Some might even write a nasty letter. Ignore! You are to be your own family now. Those who attend care enough and are mature enough to realize not everyone gets along. You might even find some very close people refusing to attend unless you fulfill their expectations. If that happens, immediately uninvite them in writing immediately if they threaten non attendance or curse you out...and explain that because they have pressured you into trying to do what you did not want, they are no longer on the invite list and are NOT to show up under any circumstances. Expect it. Some families think blood is thicker than water. IT IS NOT! That lesson should be learned early on.Someone is bound to tell you to suck up and invite them all. I didn't invite who my mother wanted there and it worked out OK for me and I Saw WHO was really nasty and controlling. In one important instance, my own mother was refusing to attend unless I had invited all her relalives, because HER mother was pressuring her. I told mother that she had 24 hours to change her mind and attend or she was losing a son and off the invite list. My dad was speecheless, and I told him: " Test me, and you'll both lose your son". She told me with the 24 hours she'd attend, and she was not happy. I told her that if one, even one nastiness came out of her mouth before the wedding about our decision, she would immediately be uninvited. She shut her lips.Her extended family was not happy that I did not invite them. I could not stand them really and I was smart. It takes courage, but do this and you stand on your own two feet.YOU also see who cares about you and is not there to discrtedit you. Expect yourstlves not to be invited to many functions thereafter. However, if close people to you after the wedding do hurtful things to you, you have the right to avoid them.You'll still have 25 percent in your corner.

CreditExpert

Joined: 05 Apr 2008
Posts: 1

Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 3:22 am Post subject: How to tell family I don't want them at my wedding?

I was going to say just don't send them an invitation, but if you have already it's hard to uninvite people. My niece just got married yesterday, and had the same issue to deal with.You could hire some security guards to keep the peace, or just go to plan "B" and have a private wedding w/just parents,and a couple close friends. Do what you have to do to insurerepect for yourselves.

KATHYANNC

Joined: 05 Apr 2008
Posts: 1

Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 6:15 am Post subject: How to tell family I don't want them at my wedding?

this is your day, you want it to be a happy one ok. don't invite the people that will upset your day.explain to the other people and who can't except it will just have to get over it kc

maigen_obx0818

Joined: 05 Apr 2008
Posts: 1

Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 9:08 am Post subject: How to tell family I don't want them at my wedding?

Rethink your wedding plan is what you should do. One does not spend one's life savings on a wedding. That's just ridiculous.

JediChezeWhiz1168

Joined: 05 Apr 2008
Posts: 1

Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 12:01 pm Post subject: How to tell family I don't want them at my wedding?

Tell them you want to have a very small wedding. Invite who you want.

kristus412

Joined: 05 Apr 2008
Posts: 2

Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 2:53 pm Post subject: How to tell family I don't want them at my wedding?

You can just not send them an invitation.

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