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Ray
Joined: 18 Apr 2008
Posts: 2
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 Posted: Fri Apr 18, 2008 7:42 pm Post subject: HELP!!!!!!!!!! i think i made a big mistake? |
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| hi everyone i am 37 married 2 years and in no way happy with my life i have a son he is nearly 2 i love him with all my life plus also i have a daughter of 10 from a previous partner whom i love also and see every weekend, at my house the trouble is at the moment ,present wife is a alchoholoic,she is fine in the house during the week but at the weekend she is transformed to the most violent person i know, her mother who lives very close does not see this because she sees no badness in her and thinks because i work 12 hours a day, 6 days a week iam not providing for my family ie going to the park,zoo,cinema .if i say i am tired i am being selfish p-s ex wife soon to be, does not and never has workedpps. i do not want to lose my kids. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ps. i am no saint or hero, but i cannot carry on like |
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loveradsrn
Joined: 18 Apr 2008
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Fri Apr 18, 2008 9:37 pm Post subject: HELP!!!!!!!!!! i think i made a big mistake? |
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| get a good lawyer and take her a** to court |
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rooster
Joined: 18 Apr 2008
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Fri Apr 18, 2008 11:32 pm Post subject: HELP!!!!!!!!!! i think i made a big mistake? |
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| videotape your wife on the weekend (without her knowledge )-all weekend. edit video for highlights (worst parts of the weekend ) show it to her monday night and tell if it doesnt stop you are gone with the kids - keep the tape if she wants to keep doing the same thing |
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aunt_webby9791
Joined: 19 Apr 2008
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2008 1:27 am Post subject: HELP!!!!!!!!!! i think i made a big mistake? |
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| go talk to a counsellor ! |
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beastofsa
Joined: 19 Apr 2008
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2008 3:22 am Post subject: HELP!!!!!!!!!! i think i made a big mistake? |
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aw man im sorry for you. That kind of thing is really hard to go through. What you want to do is have on record all the things you do money wise (working that kinda thing). even go as far as to put a camera or two (small hidden ones) in your house and record your wife's violence. this will all be used in court to keep the kids with you. show that you are earning enough money to provide for the kids that you can either be there with them or afford to put them in childcare. You should have some friends and/or family who will be willing to testify to your character value as a father. email me at admin.savethechildren@gmail.com if you have any more questions.hope this helped  |
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colby31
Joined: 19 Apr 2008
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2008 5:18 am Post subject: HELP!!!!!!!!!! i think i made a big mistake? |
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| i dont think you are being selfish. you work a lot to provide for them. have you tried talking to her about her drinking? maybe, if you are still interested in keeping this together, you can find a weekend or 2 a month that you can do family stuff. show that you are trying if shes willing to stop drinking so much. but if you are serious and want to end it, by all means do it. i dont think you will be the one losing the kid. you are a hard working father. she not only has never worked, but is also drinking and becoming violent. |
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BG
Joined: 19 Apr 2008
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2008 7:13 am Post subject: HELP!!!!!!!!!! i think i made a big mistake? |
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| get help or get her out of the house. |
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Sissy
Joined: 19 Apr 2008
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2008 9:08 am Post subject: HELP!!!!!!!!!! i think i made a big mistake? |
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| My advise is to talk to an attorney and find out what your rights and your child rights are.Does she hit you or the child during a drunken time? If so then call the police and have her arrested. The arrest will be officially documented and then talk to your attorney, file for divorce and custody. Check with your attorney when it comes to changing the locks etc. because some states it is not allowed.Be careful because your wife can take your child away and you may never see him again. Don't talk to or threaten your wife with your plans because she will be able to use this information as ammunition against you.I would also suggest going to "Spy Gear" to obtain audio and video equipment (a nanny cam) because you really have no idea what is going on in your home when you are not there. |
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cndy012002
Joined: 19 Apr 2008
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2008 11:03 am Post subject: HELP!!!!!!!!!! i think i made a big mistake? |
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| You need to keep track of everything she does, if she is an alcoholic talk to her see if she would consider getting help, does you 10 year old see whats going on. That is not a good situation to raise kids in, good luck |
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jazzfanmd
Joined: 19 Apr 2008
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2008 12:58 pm Post subject: HELP!!!!!!!!!! i think i made a big mistake? |
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| Document everything, and if the situation is as you say, you stand better than a 50/50 chance of becoming the custodial parent, although you would obviously have to alter your work schedule. |
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nina7806
Joined: 19 Apr 2008
Posts: 8
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| Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2008 2:54 pm Post subject: HELP!!!!!!!!!! i think i made a big mistake? |
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| Bummer! communicate difficult though it may be Of course you are tired but is there anyway you can cut back hours and spend time with your family? Your priorties may need to be adjusted. You can't change the other person but you can change yourself Do all that you can to make it work |
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kissy_karissa
Joined: 19 Apr 2008
Posts: 3
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| Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2008 4:49 pm Post subject: HELP!!!!!!!!!! i think i made a big mistake? |
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| You need to secure a good lawyer first. and document document document. If you think no one will believe you that she is vicious on the weekends when she is free to drink as she pleases....hide a video camera and record her actions. Dont tell her you are doing it though! If you have proof that she is abusive or neglectful to the children...then you are well on your way to gaining full custody of your kids. There is no judge in his or her right mind that would give custody to a violent alchoholic. You are on a difficult path...but, I think you are doign the right thing for your family. Sad to say...she can only get worse before she will ever get better...and your kids deserve better than having to deal with her until she faces up to her problems. Good luck... |
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redrum123456
Joined: 19 Apr 2008
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2008 6:44 pm Post subject: HELP!!!!!!!!!! i think i made a big mistake? |
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| well for one i thing, men like being treated like s***! when they have a good women they take life , for granted! now leaving your wife does not mean you are going to loose your children! thare is lawers! or,is,it, you love what she does to you! |
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TJ516
Joined: 19 Apr 2008
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2008 8:39 pm Post subject: HELP!!!!!!!!!! i think i made a big mistake? |
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| What is wrong with you? I give you credit for working hard and taking responsibility for your actions. You cannot live near your inlaws. Let me say it again. You cannot live near your inlaws. They will forever be against you. You need to tell your wife she needs to quit the drinking and acting a fool and be a mother. this nonsense of I need to go out and let off steam because I'm with the kids all week is crazy. You are parents and you need to behave as such. you need to set boundaries for the mother in law. And you need to be home and available to your kids. Working and making money is great, but your children need you. Spend time as a family. Without the mother in law. Build your life around your kids and wife. And for goodness sake, limit the amount of money your wife has to drink. She has to be a mother first, not a drunk.Good luck!!! |
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MICHAEL9622
Joined: 19 Apr 2008
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2008 10:34 pm Post subject: HELP!!!!!!!!!! i think i made a big mistake? |
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| Well, if you are already aware of the situation and as far as you can see, nothing is likely to change, I think you have no alternative but to consult a divorce attorney ASAP; and relate to the divorce attorney that you want to fight for sole custody of both children. While it is true that in general terms, the female is favored in custody fights and/or suits, in recent years things have somewhat changed with that; and, in any case, I cannot see a court looking for what is in the best interest of the child (which is the legal standard applied) awarding custody or even making a joint custody award when it means that an unfit individual with alcohol dependence will be the custodian.What I am alerting you to is this: The children will likely have to corroborate your wife's drinking problem, unless there is independent documentation of the same in addition to your testimony as to the same in court. Good luck. |
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