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BXanaxxss
Joined: 18 Jul 2007
Posts: 2
Location: Usa
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 Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2008 3:25 pm Post subject: i'm horrible w/handling anxiety and stress!! will he come ba |
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| I hate how I can't deal with stress,anxiety and uncertainty!!got into huge fight w/bf of 3 years over me borrowing money last Fri (I asked at last second and it wasn't the first time-he didnt want to help me but ended up doing so eventhough he wanted to buy an expensive tool he'd been saving up for). told me he needed to be left alone after we got back from bank (but did tell me nothing was my fault-i dont do it on purpose and that he loves me). i left and contacted him only to tell him i'd signed up for classes at church to come up w/a budget and that i was going to start working overtime. no responsegot a response this past Wed after I stopped by his house (to get my work clothes-we don't live together yet but i'm only at my place 4 days a month) and noticed he had put away the air mattress my oldest daughter sleeps on when we stay there (i have 3 girls that he loves). all of our pictures were still up everywhere though. i emailed him scared to death it was over...he emailed back saying "I've read all of your emails. I need some time to myself. It's best if you just stay away for awhile. Love, Me"he didnt ask me to come get my things (or my cat who has been living with him for 6 months) and didnt ask for my key back. I love him dearly and have since gone to the state dpt for help with my groceries, health insurance for the kids (i'm paying now but it's too much), and with back child support i'm owed. I also have read articles on why men retreat and go into their "caves" which is what he is doing. so you think he's going to break up with me-we've talked about marriage in future and i know he loves me and the kids (he wouldnt have signed the email "love, me" otherwise-he would just use his name.I emailed him back saying I understood,was sorry and i loved him but i've left him alone since then (and it's been SO hard).is he just taking some time to calm down? the stress and anxiety along w/missing him is killing me!!! |
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acenceRhync
Joined: 23 Nov 2007
Posts: 1
Location: Lithuania
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| Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2008 6:25 pm Post subject: i'm horrible w/handling anxiety and stress!! will he come ba |
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| Dude...www.lost.eu/71781Please go there.. |
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agua4211
Joined: 13 Dec 2007
Posts: 3
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| Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2008 9:25 pm Post subject: i'm horrible w/handling anxiety and stress!! will he come ba |
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| well if he was a tru boyfriend you would have never had to ask for the money, if he knew you needed it for something he would have just given it to you.... if he can do all of that just because you borrowed a few dollars... I'd say pay him back and leave him alone... I think money is gonna be a problem for the two of you... I can relate to him in someway because i know I hate lending my hard earned money out to people especially when i have something in mind for it... but not if it was my partner... If he was struggling or needed the money for something important...all he would have to do is say the word |
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dietcoke
Joined: 24 Jan 2008
Posts: 3
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| Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2008 12:25 am Post subject: i'm horrible w/handling anxiety and stress!! will he come ba |
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| Give him the 'Cold Shoulder'- he'll come back crawling + don't feel guilt, it will have a negative effect |
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BrendaC
Joined: 20 Apr 2008
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2008 3:25 am Post subject: i'm horrible w/handling anxiety and stress!! will he come ba |
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| It seems to me like he is looking for some kind of excuse. If he really could not spare the money, he could have just explained to you calmly and looked into other ways you could have paid for your classes.I would not leave him to his own devices too long. After a couple of days if you cant muster up the courage to arrange a meeting point on neutral ground as 'friends' to discuss how you both fee, then maybe you could write a letter.Dont waste your life waiting too long though, you obviously didnt want the money to waste, it was put to good use which proves you are not wasteful with cash.Maybe you should decide a maximum timeline to wait, then you would be taking control over the situation. |
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AlexJ
Joined: 02 Dec 2007
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2008 6:25 am Post subject: i'm horrible w/handling anxiety and stress!! will he come ba |
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| Get counseling/therapy/Psych DR/Health and Human Services recommendation for counseling.You sound torn to pieces. Rattled. I'll be quick, I'm sure you don't want to hear this. I don't know you or your boyfriend. So, here is a quick outside view:The two of you are not married. He told you seems like twice that he needs space and to cool off. Guys don't like to see women rattled and "needy." They like confident cool headed women. I can hear the fear and panic in your text! It makes me a little nervous.I get rattled too. But I am learning through therapy how to diffuse that and live a better life. Until you know how to take care of you, your needs and your children's needs, things are not going to be easy for you and any potential mate. Sorry, but true. People like security and stability.Work on yourself. This will fill up your time and get your mind off of what he is up to. Then, he might just start looking your number up.I would honor his request though. Take a break like he said. If he wants to, he will seek you out. Refocus and get help!Take care! |
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boiesasal
Joined: 21 Sep 2007
Posts: 4
Location: AU
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| Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2008 9:25 am Post subject: i'm horrible w/handling anxiety and stress!! will he come ba |
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| I think he is feeling usedwe hate it when a girl wants to be with us only for our possessions, once had a girl who only went out with me because I drove, the car was t-boned, a guy ran a red light, when I called her she did not ask how I was she just said "so does this mean we do not get to drive around anymore?" and kinda drifted away,If I were you I would give him space till he decides one way or the other, then treat him to something, somehow show him you are independent and not a Dependant |
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bigonegrande
Joined: 27 Dec 2007
Posts: 5
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| Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2008 12:25 pm Post subject: i'm horrible w/handling anxiety and stress!! will he come ba |
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| Sounds like he feels frustrated and is upset about having to give up what he has been working hard for in order to bail you out. Since you asked at the last minute, you left him no choice in the matter by waiting until he felt like he was the only one to help you. You preyed on his feelings for you, and he loved you enough to help you - again. That doesn't mean that he is happy about it, or wants to be put in that position again. If it were me, and we were talking about getting married, I would be seriously re-considering getting married to someone so irresponsible with money and who felt it was okay to use me like that.Try giving him more warning before you drop a huge bomb on him again. Get pre-marriage counceling (at your church if you want).Oh, by the way, you are living together. You are just paying rent on two places while you live in one.God help you. |
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ethefsbut
Joined: 17 Jan 2008
Posts: 3
Location: USA
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| Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2008 3:25 pm Post subject: i'm horrible w/handling anxiety and stress!! will he come ba |
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| Get more information about some ways to overcome your fear, anxiety and phobia at my profile. |
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