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My wife cheated and has been misleading me. Should I stay or

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Kit

Joined: 11 Feb 2008
Posts: 4

Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2008 3:06 pm Post subject: My wife cheated and has been misleading me. Should I stay or

Basically, here is the rundown:I've been married for 2.5 years and just recently, through a couple of scenarios, I found out my wife has been less than faithful to me. I found email messages with her talking to a guy she slept with less than a month before the wedding etc; this has all been completely unknown to me. So after talking to her, she said it was because she had a drinking problem (which she has now corrected - I also found out she made out with my best friend when the two of them were drunk) and she was remorseful - BUT, she was still chatting with this guy up until Jan of this year, telling him what a jerk I was. Now, I know I haven't been the best in the world, but she never communicated to me that we had such problems. I guess what I am really wrestling with if I had known at the time, I would have called the wedding off. I have been completely faithful and wouldn't dream of ever even holding another woman's hand. What should I do?

kimmybabe

Joined: 21 Mar 2008
Posts: 6

Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2008 4:01 pm Post subject: My wife cheated and has been misleading me. Should I stay or

dump the b****

kinvafficaedf

Joined: 04 Mar 2008
Posts: 6
Location: World

Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2008 4:57 pm Post subject: My wife cheated and has been misleading me. Should I stay or

Run Rudy run.......run like the wind. Just be the first to file for divorce. Yes it matters.

Kimpak_myrddin

Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 9

Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2008 5:52 pm Post subject: My wife cheated and has been misleading me. Should I stay or

hell no leave her a**.... don't worry about here so much wat a hoe! lol!

Kimpak_myrddin

Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 9

Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2008 6:47 pm Post subject: My wife cheated and has been misleading me. Should I stay or

Suggest counselling so that you can discuss the cheating issues and try to work on the trust. This will open up your communication and hopefully will diminish the reasoning behind her drinking and being unfaithful. If you cant see that the trust will be rebuilt then walk now.

kimberlyr

Joined: 31 Aug 2007
Posts: 15

Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2008 7:43 pm Post subject: My wife cheated and has been misleading me. Should I stay or

It will hurt but will have to move on she always hurt you.

kirtguh

Joined: 05 Oct 2007
Posts: 104
Location: USA

Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2008 8:38 pm Post subject: My wife cheated and has been misleading me. Should I stay or

If you knew she cheated before you would have called the wedding off. These are your words! Now you are in a comittment and there are those things called marriage vows and it really depends on how serious you take them. Cheating SHOULD be THE reason why you should get divorced. IF people would toughen up and not take it then there may be less of it. But we still keep taking it and taking it until it happens again and again. You wouldn't have married her before, you wouldn't have taken these serious vows, but now you did, and now she's cheated, so you have to stick to what you believe and get a divorce.

kimandryan20083336

Joined: 13 Jan 2008
Posts: 7

Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2008 9:33 pm Post subject: My wife cheated and has been misleading me. Should I stay or

You are the only one that will really be able to make the final decision. In my opinion, since I've been in the same position as you are in now.. is once a cheater always a cheater. Look in your heart. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with this woman who's marriage vows apparently meant nothing? If you can move past this, are you going to be able to trust her again or will this be brought up every single time there is an argument? It might be hard to think of yourself divorced, but if someone doesn't give you the love and respect that you deserve than you should move on and find someone that will.

Kim5238

Joined: 02 Dec 2007
Posts: 9

Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2008 10:29 pm Post subject: My wife cheated and has been misleading me. Should I stay or

Actually you have grounds for an annulment.BTW she is drink as an excuse to have sex, not the other way around.Punt!

kirstym

Joined: 13 Jan 2008
Posts: 6

Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2008 11:24 pm Post subject: My wife cheated and has been misleading me. Should I stay or

I'm thinking she is using the drinking problem as an excuse. If that were the case, why does she still talk with him. I would ask her why she married you. You need to ask yourself if you want to to try and make this marriage work, then ask her. It doesn't sound very promisiing.

KINGKJORS

Joined: 24 Jan 2008
Posts: 11

Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 12:20 am Post subject: My wife cheated and has been misleading me. Should I stay or

I say file for divorce. Drinking is not an excuse. A lot of people say when you drink you are only doing what you really want to do sober but, donʻt have enough courage to do. And if this problem is only caused by the drinking, why was she still talking to this guy when she is sober ?

KimberleyL

Joined: 27 Dec 2007
Posts: 4

Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 1:15 am Post subject: My wife cheated and has been misleading me. Should I stay or

It's up to you - IF you feel there is enough there to work on, and IF you are confident that she wants it as much as you, then you can save your marriage. Not that it will be easy. If not, move on.

kimandryan20087113

Joined: 13 Dec 2007
Posts: 6

Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 2:10 am Post subject: My wife cheated and has been misleading me. Should I stay or

Drinking can be an issue that leads to all other sorts of problems... You obviously must of known about this issue prior to marrying her so don't pass all responsibility off. If she's being honest and willing to work on it, I think that is grounds for a second chance. However, if you know you can't forgive her now or at any point through trying you should call it quits and not put either of you through any more pain. You are open and seem to admit to having issues you could work on that would help resolve some possible tension in the marriage. Whatever you do set up strong guidelines and communication and agree to tons of effort, some counseling, and lots of hard work!!!

KimP

Joined: 24 Nov 2007
Posts: 9

Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 3:06 am Post subject: My wife cheated and has been misleading me. Should I stay or

u will never feel the same about her knowing she betrayed u, so its much easier to get out of it now then wait and hope and invest more only to be hurt again. if your wife had a problem she should have come to u, and not tried to find love in someone Else's arms until she spoke to her husband first. knowing the truth about her how could u even think u could go on as if nothing happened. she has not taken responsibility for it either, blaming it on her drinking, or blaming it on u, she never told u there were problems but still chose to cheat. u seriously need to get out of this and move on even though its going to hurt, its better in the long run. as u will never be able to take the marriage back to where it use to be before u found all this out. there is never a good excuse for any kind of cheating on anyone.

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