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LAOSBISH
Joined: 02 Apr 2008
Posts: 2
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 Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 8:15 am Post subject: Unity Candle??? |
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| My Fiance and I are thinking about this unity candle stuff..we don't know if we like it..I mean I understand that point and we just don't know about it..I also seen on tv one time instead of a unity candle they had a glass of sand (two different colors) and they had a little saying about "how sand mixes this is the new colors of your life" it was different what do you think?Also the cutting of the wedding cake..we are having cupcakes and we bought cupcake tiers to put on each table so we won't have like a cake table..is it ok not to do the cutting of the cake my future M-I-L thinks its important but i just don't know..what do you think? |
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Latneargedwt
Joined: 07 Mar 2008
Posts: 2
Location: World
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| Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 9:35 am Post subject: Unity Candle??? |
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| The unity candle is completely optional in most ceremonies because its sheerly symbolic of the joining of two halfs. (I'm actually creating my own instead of paying the outrageous prices). So if you dont want it, DONT have it. Its your wedding!As for the cutting of the cake its another symbolism that originated from a breaking of the bread tradition so maybe you two could break a cupcake together instead or well cut one if it will make the MIL shut up. But keep in mind its your wedding not hers! |
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LiraFordZeke
Joined: 13 Aug 2007
Posts: 6
Location: USA
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| Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 10:55 am Post subject: Unity Candle??? |
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| Weddings are a personal choice, if you dont want one.. dont do it! I am guessing you have a wedding party table, if you want to shove a cupcake in each others faces just do it there, maybe right after the toasts or something. It is YOUR DAY!!! Do what you want.Regarding the Unity candle.. there should some sort of "unity" in the ceremony. Sand, candle, etc. Who cares... but i would do something to unite the two of you. |
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HalfMan
Joined: 23 May 2007
Posts: 8
Location: USA
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| Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 12:15 pm Post subject: Unity Candle??? |
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| there are several ceremony additions - unity candle, sand blending, rose ceremony, wine ceremony...the list is endless.we had cupcakes - all the guests expected the cake feeding/sharing. We just shared a cupcake. I seen others had a small cake that they cut for themselves. |
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kenthyoungi
Joined: 11 Jan 2008
Posts: 5
Location: USA
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| Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 1:35 pm Post subject: Unity Candle??? |
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| my self I like the sand, it is more romantic, and the cake thing I am not sure about, all I know it is a tradition |
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KatyJ
Joined: 27 Dec 2007
Posts: 6
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| Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 2:55 pm Post subject: Unity Candle??? |
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| I think the cakes important but I love the two different colors of sand...someone I know had that in there wedding and it was beautiful |
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Jen4140
Joined: 24 Nov 2007
Posts: 6
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| Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 4:15 pm Post subject: Unity Candle??? |
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| We did the unity candle thing because we had a non-religious wedding, but wanted to do something with some sort of ceremony and meaning. Our JP suggested the unity candle because he had done it several times and thought it was really nice and meaningful and already had his sweet speech all set. He also had a "rose" ceremony that sounded really super sweet that involved the bride and groom presenting a rose to certain loved ones, but I knew I'd be too shy to perform it and that there were too many loved ones, and that I wanted to have the focus be on the unity of me and my husband, not focused on other ties. Our JP was really good and there was not a dry eye in attendance during out lighting of the candle. Luckily, it wasn't windy out...so I can see the appeal of the sand thing. I would definitely work with what the JP is comfortable with so he or she can really give it their best. The meaning of the ceremony really hits home when the speaker is able to communicate it.The cutting of the cake is not an important ceremony. It is more of a fun tradition, like singing happy birthday. If you don't want to do it....DON'T! It's your day and you don't have to. Many guests look forward to this cute and fun little bit of the special day. I didn't really want to do it and gave my husband very special rules for the "feeding" of the cake that he adhered to. (apparently the rules weren't strict enough for all, since my mom is on my wedding video, running over to break up the make-out session, lol) Anyway, I don't think the cutting of the cake has any special meaning, but the guests look forward to it and it really is fun and fun to remember later. It'd be cute if the two of you had an oversized cupcake to share. |
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JoyoReti
Joined: 07 Jun 2007
Posts: 7
Location: New Zeland
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| Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 5:35 pm Post subject: Unity Candle??? |
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| I've also heard of replacing the candle with different colored water. You and your hubby pour the different colored waters into a bowl or something and you get one color. Do what you want if it's not special for you don't do it or start a new tradition! |
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happyfeet
Joined: 15 Jan 2008
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 6:55 pm Post subject: Unity Candle??? |
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| My fiance' and I are doing the unity sand instead of the candle. we have 3 colors for our wedding and the mothers are going to pour in 1 color and we are each going to pour in another color. I don't think that the cake cutting is a necessity, if you want to just have cup cakes and not cut a cake thats cool. maybe you can cut one in half and feed each half to each-other, if you want to do that? |
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encourager4God
Joined: 26 Nov 2007
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 8:15 pm Post subject: Unity Candle??? |
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| Here is some information, more than you probably wanted, on the sand ceremony: http://www.unitysandceremony.netI wouldn't have anything in my wedding if I didn't really want it or see it's importance. Perhaps if both of our mother's were alive, I would want to do the unity candle, but I doubt it. And without both of our mothers to light the two 'family' candles, it becomes pointless, in my opinion. Whatever the reason, if you don't want it, don't do it. If you want to do the sand ceremony, go for it. It is beautiful and symbolic.The cutting of the cake together is supposed to have alot of significance, too. It represents how both the bride and groom are now performing tasks together, then, as they feed each other, it shows how they are taking care of each other. For some reason, I have no idea why, I like that tradition and I will have the cake cutting ceremony. As far as your mother in law, think about this: Do you really NOT want to have a cutting ceremony or do you just not really care either way? How important is it to your future mother in law? If she has been mild mannered and not demanding about the wedding, then I would give her desire more importance than if she has been demanding and difficult. If this is pretty much the only thing she has requested, then I would consider doing it (unless you simply HATE the idea.) You could get a very small cake (like the size that would be on top of a 3 tiered cake) and have it at the table where you and the groom will sit at the reception, where you could perform the ceremony.Remember, though, that this is YOUR wedding and you don't have to do anything that you don't want to. Do what feels right and what you are comfortable with. |
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