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sparkleythings_4you9616
Joined: 03 Dec 2007
Posts: 19
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 Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 9:09 am Post subject: Etiquette question on wedding invitation....? |
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An acquaintance is getting married next month and I was invited to the shower; but was unable to attend. I have recently moved and have not forwarded my mail yet and the invitations for the wedding were already sent out. I have no way of collecting the mail at my old apartment so the issue is: was I invited to the wedding? I am not sure how to tactfully find out without straight out asking her I am invited. I spoke with her today and casually mentioned that I have moved; but she didn't ask for my new address.Anyone been in this situation before?Complicated situation involving my ex... Not too important except that it has made this mail thing a pain in the butt  |
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springtime
Joined: 25 Mar 2008
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 10:13 am Post subject: Etiquette question on wedding invitation....? |
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| Find a friend who's going and tag along as a guest. If you ask her, she'll have to say yes (if she's a friend of urs). |
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sunshine1972ny
Joined: 18 Mar 2008
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 11:18 am Post subject: Etiquette question on wedding invitation....? |
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| i would ask. just say exactly that. you moved. youll either get a yes or a no |
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Thaphormoup
Joined: 18 Dec 2007
Posts: 5
Location: Denmark
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| Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 12:23 pm Post subject: Etiquette question on wedding invitation....? |
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| Hmm, maybe you can ask the mother of the bride or another person close to the couple and find out. |
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snuffy
Joined: 20 Apr 2008
Posts: 5
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| Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 1:28 pm Post subject: Etiquette question on wedding invitation....? |
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| I think you can safely assume that if you were invited to the shower, that you were invited to the wedding. Otherwise, you may want to consider sending them an email / letter / phone call, etc. just to give them your updated contact info. Don't mention the wedding or anything, just say that you wanted to give them the new info.So you didn't put a forward on your mail???? |
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stew
Joined: 21 Mar 2008
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 2:33 pm Post subject: Etiquette question on wedding invitation....? |
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| I hate to break it to you but she probably didn't bother asking if you received it then since you moved, because it would have been a perfect opportunity for her to have mentioned it. Like " Oh I hope you got the invitation". She was probably trying to avoid it. Sorry. |
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tashasenior2005
Joined: 02 Dec 2007
Posts: 8
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| Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 3:37 pm Post subject: Etiquette question on wedding invitation....? |
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| I wouldn't ask her directly - Ask another person invited to research it a little more for you. |
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Taubcurlcycle
Joined: 27 Apr 2008
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 4:42 pm Post subject: Etiquette question on wedding invitation....? |
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| Call and say that you are afraid that you may have lost some mail from her during the past [insert time frame]. Say you don't want her to think you are ignoring her by not responding to any lost messages, so you would like her to re-send all mail, or tell you about their contents. Act like you are calling more than just her, trying not to be ungracious to anyone who may have sent you mail. She should be more than willing to help you out. |
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subseven_joel
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 5:47 pm Post subject: Etiquette question on wedding invitation....? |
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| I think you will have to ask. Reason being, if you do not ask, she will not know you didn't get it and that you are not attending the wedding just like you did not attend the reception. It would also be rude, to not rsvp because a person will not know how many people to pay for when it comes to finalizing the reception. A tactful way of asking would be, "You know I was moving and very sorry I did not make your shower. I also have not been able to forward my mail yet so I have not been receiving my mail. At the risk of sounding presumptuous, I was hoping I had been invited and wanted to make sure that I could RSVP...you know how rude it is to not RSVP for such an important event." At least this way, if you were not invited, she will make room for you in someone's spot that can't make it. |
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srf3714
Joined: 20 Mar 2008
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 6:52 pm Post subject: Etiquette question on wedding invitation....? |
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| Your friend probably assumed you either had your mail forwarded (you didn't tell her you hadn't) or that you can go and collect your mail from the old address soon (why wouldn't you if you expect to be getting an invite, would be her reasoning).I would say you need to be more direct, otherwise you are just prolonging finding out the truth of whether one was sent or not. Explain how you forgot to get your mail forwarded, you won't be able to pick it up any time soon, and if she's mailed you anything in the last month or two, that you're very sorry but it's lost.By the way, why can't you collect it from your old apartment?? Shouldn't the landlord have a legal obligation to hold it for you for a certain amount of time? Most people would just write, "Return to address", drop it in a post box and let the post office figure it out. That way your friend would get the invite back and then hopefully call you.You're going to have to be more direct in life and save yourself a lot of beating around the bush. And be more proactive in the future : ) |
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TalienLadyoftheGarlicElve
Joined: 03 Dec 2007
Posts: 5
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| Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 7:57 pm Post subject: Etiquette question on wedding invitation....? |
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| You were invited to the shower, and etiquette says if you're invited to the shower, you are to be invited to the wedding. I would have a friend ask for you--like "Susan, did you invite Barb to the wedding?" And if she says yes, tell her you never received one. |
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