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SoonToBeMrsAnderson
Joined: 21 Feb 2008
Posts: 6
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 Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 1:45 pm Post subject: What is proper wedding invitation wording when parents are d |
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| Situation is my daughter is getting married. Mom and I are divorced (20 years) and have both re-married. I've been involved in my daughter's life significantly throughout the years - both emotionally and financially. My daughter's step-father is in a position where his income is considerably greater than mine. Mom has not worked since re-marrying. When my daughter and I talked about the wedding and cost, I researched the internet and it seems agreeing to a fixed amount was the best solution. I gave my daughter what I thought was a generous fixed amount, but her Mom took off with her spouse's open checkbook and rapidly drove the cost up to an exhorbitant amount. As a result, my fixed amount is a smaller percentage (about 17%), but it's what I can afford. I received a wedding invitation yesterday and there was absolutely no reference of me on the invitation. My initial reaction was one of disappointment and hurt. I need help here cause I love my daughter and feel trapped. |
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Terisu3472
Joined: 10 Mar 2008
Posts: 5
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| Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:28 pm Post subject: What is proper wedding invitation wording when parents are d |
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| It's funny, but theknot.com just had that on their site yesterday. check their site. |
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Teenslovers
Joined: 26 Sep 2007
Posts: 2
Location: USA
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| Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 3:11 pm Post subject: What is proper wedding invitation wording when parents are d |
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| Include them. |
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StraightEdgePunk
Joined: 23 Feb 2008
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 3:54 pm Post subject: What is proper wedding invitation wording when parents are d |
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| I think it should go like thisMr. X and Mrs. X request.....when they are married it is usually Mr. and Mrs. X |
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soundproof
Joined: 23 Feb 2008
Posts: 7
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| Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 4:38 pm Post subject: What is proper wedding invitation wording when parents are d |
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| I would give your daughter the final say. While its traditional that the parents invite the guests to their daughter wedding, its not unheard of for the invitations to come directly from the bride and groom. I wouldnt worry about being mentioned on the invitations, if you are loved, and daughters always love their dads, you will be mentioned more than once in the speeches. Also as father of the bride you traditionally get the first speech, and your ex and her spouse wont. Hope you get it sorted out. |
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thasiahodoguz
Joined: 05 Mar 2008
Posts: 2
Location: World
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| Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 5:21 pm Post subject: What is proper wedding invitation wording when parents are d |
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| That is ridiculous. There should have been mention of you in the invitations. It should have read something like this: John Doe and Jane Smithinvite you to the wedding ofYour daughter &Her fiance.I'm sorry, but they can't reprint the invitations without a considerable amount of money. Which apparently they can afford, but her mom probably won't insist. You need to tell your daughter how much this upset you. Good luck. |
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thasiahodoarl
Joined: 05 Mar 2008
Posts: 2
Location: World
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| Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 6:04 pm Post subject: What is proper wedding invitation wording when parents are d |
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| i am sorry this has happened to you - i think that both biological parents should be named regardless of what they have contributed. The place to thank the step parents is in the speeches after the ceremony. |
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Taliikas
Joined: 24 Jun 2007
Posts: 19
Location: Germany
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| Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 6:47 pm Post subject: What is proper wedding invitation wording when parents are d |
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| I can't believe they didn't include you in the invitation! That is extremely rude and inappropriate. You should have been included. I'm sorry! I don't really know what you can do at this point... Congrats on your daughter getting married btw. |
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superdragon1262
Joined: 20 Jan 2008
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 7:30 pm Post subject: What is proper wedding invitation wording when parents are d |
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| It should of listed the parents of the bride Mr and Mrs (your first and last name) and Mr and Mrs (the ex's last name) then the grooms family request the honor. It should not matter how much you contribute to the wedding its not a contest. Its your daughters happiness. If your ex wants to spend a lot of money let her. your daughter knows how much you love her and what you can contribute financially. |
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SukaebatyA
Joined: 22 Jul 2007
Posts: 3
Location: USA
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| Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 8:14 pm Post subject: What is proper wedding invitation wording when parents are d |
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| I would say that you should not be offended or even care whether or not your name is mentioned on the card. The reason being, your love for your daughter is not based on your monetary contribution to her wedding (or life for that matter)... You sould just know that you love her and are doing your best to support her and be there for her. |
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sprite
Joined: 21 Jan 2008
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 8:57 pm Post subject: What is proper wedding invitation wording when parents are d |
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| that's very rude of them to leave you off just because your contribution was less. you should all be on the invitation in some way if your all contributing to it. for me personally (both parents remarried) i don't know who's contributing to what (and what his side is contributing) but i'd ideally just like to write "we invite you..." not specifically who but just a general "we"i can understand though that some people want a more formal indication of who's doing the inviting to give them credit because they contributed... maybe the invitation could say "the parents of xx and mr. x invite you to ..." or "mr. and mrs. x and mr. y invite you to..."tricky, i don't know if the invitations are done what can really be done now but you should at least bring it up to them. maybe if she is doing a wedding program you can be acknowledged in there. most people will forget waht the invite said and see the program and see your name there. |
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subseven_joel
Joined: 21 Nov 2007
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 9:40 pm Post subject: What is proper wedding invitation wording when parents are d |
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| I'm sorry to hear of that. I can understand about you being upset on the issue! I would be too! She should have listed you!!My parents are divorced and they both helped...my mom more so than my dad. But, I still listed them both on my invitation, along with both step parents...It read: Mr. and Mrs. (mom and step dad) and Mr. and Mrs. (dad and step mom) request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter blah blah blah blah..... |
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suzannew
Joined: 21 Nov 2007
Posts: 63
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| Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 10:23 pm Post subject: What is proper wedding invitation wording when parents are d |
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| oops I mis read have to delete everything....yes if you have a relationship with your daughter then I would also be upset and in a loving manner you need to tell her that you know it is her day but you did feel hurt. |
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Terisu3472
Joined: 10 Mar 2008
Posts: 5
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| Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 11:06 pm Post subject: What is proper wedding invitation wording when parents are d |
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| The invitation should list you as the father at least.Mr John Doe and Mrs Jane Remarried & Mr Remarried would like to invite you...or Daughters Name, Daughter of Mr John Doe and Mrs Jane Remarried & Mr RemarriedYou got dissed by the ex for sure. |
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swirledmoonpie
Joined: 03 Oct 2006
Posts: 10
Location: Delaware
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| Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 11:50 pm Post subject: What is proper wedding invitation wording when parents are d |
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| I understand why you would feel the way that you do.I would be mindful of the fact that it is most probably her mothers doing and not your daughter. She felt that since she was paying for the bulk that she can do what she wants. She probably also considers her household to be your daughters primary home and just overlooked you.The appropriate thing to have done would have been for the invitation to read something like: "The parents of Jane Smith request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter to John Doe on May 3, 2008.......".Whats done is done, pray that your daughter married a great man who will honor, love and respect her forever! |
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