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Skywalker7995
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 5
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 Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 6:08 am Post subject: bridemaids not getting along...? |
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| I am in a bridesmaid in a wedding and one bridesmaid dropped out and had already paid for her dress and the money for the bachelorette party. The BM that dropped out gave her dress to a new bridesmaid. The question that i have is that she never asked for her money back from the planned party. We were thinking about using it for the "extra" stuff, but the maid of honor feels we should offer it back to her. I feel that since she started problems (major problems) and decided to relieve herself of bridesmaid duties, that if she doesn't ask for the money back we should use it for the bride, or for the the NEW bridesmaid to go on the trip. Any suggestions?who should offer it back - Maid of Honor? Bride? or should all the bm's draw straws to make the call!? LOL |
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shumozavro
Joined: 27 Feb 2008
Posts: 4
Location: Italy
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| Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 7:03 am Post subject: bridemaids not getting along...? |
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| The right thing to do would be to contact her and ask if she expects the money back. She's not obligated to pay for the new bridesmaid. |
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Sleepless
Joined: 27 Dec 2007
Posts: 6
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| Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 7:58 am Post subject: bridemaids not getting along...? |
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| I think it common courtesy to ask her if she would like her money back...Let her know what the plan is...she may have forgotten after all the "problems". |
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Queenie8179
Joined: 31 Jan 2008
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 8:53 am Post subject: bridemaids not getting along...? |
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| It should be offered back to her, as it's rightly hers. She could come back one day feeling particularly nasty and threaten small claims court to get that money back. Offer it back to her,and if she doesn't want it, then go wild.EDIT: If the MOH was in charge of the planning, she should be the one to make the call. |
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pussycat
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 11
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| Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 9:48 am Post subject: bridemaids not getting along...? |
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| I think the honorable thing to do is to at least offer the money back. If she doesnt want it back, then feel free to use it at your discression. I really dont think that the new bridesmaid going on a trip withthe old bridesmaid's money is fair. When the new BM agreed to be in the bridal party, she knew what she was getting herself into, so she should pay her own way if it comes down to it. |
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OxiaWorksXS
Joined: 07 Dec 2007
Posts: 1
Location: Russia
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| Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 10:43 am Post subject: bridemaids not getting along...? |
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| I really think the right thing to do is offer it back to her. Just because she caused trouble doesn't mean she should be out the money that she did pay.I would say the Maid of Honor should give it back... since she is really the head BM.. ya know? |
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RockStar8006
Joined: 18 Apr 2008
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 11:38 am Post subject: bridemaids not getting along...? |
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| It needs to be offered back to her, it's not your money to say what to use it for. If she decides not to get it beck then use it for the new bridesmaid. It's not about who caused problems it's about the money! |
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PK
Joined: 12 Dec 2007
Posts: 6
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| Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 12:33 pm Post subject: bridemaids not getting along...? |
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It would be courteous to talk to the ex-BM about it.. whether or not she expects the money back or if she would mind if you guys still used it towards the bride, because being that she was a BM I'm sure she's still friends with the bride. Although, she shouldn't be obligated or expected to pay for the new BM, that's not really fair. She did the right thing in backing out if she was just causing problems, but that still doesn't mean she should have to pay for the new BM. I would just talk to her calmly about it, or have the BM closest to her talk to her about it. Just because she didn't get along with someone in the bridal party (which may be for way more reasons than you have knowledge of, or you might've only heard one persons side of the story) doesn't mean you should be able to determine what to do with HER money. Just remember that this day is about the BRIDE, not about the bride's maids.. and as a newly wed, I know that my bride's maids fighting is the LAST thing I want to worry about.. so try to keep this all as stress-free as possible for her. Good luck!  |
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Sexy
Joined: 24 Jan 2008
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 1:28 pm Post subject: bridemaids not getting along...? |
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| yea its the right thing to do ask her if she wants it back hopefully she will not. That sucks that she was not be cool and made such a problem. Try and contact her, if you don't get hold of her use it. |
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Preene
Joined: 31 Jan 2008
Posts: 3
Location: Sweden
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| Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 2:23 pm Post subject: bridemaids not getting along...? |
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| I see your point, but the right thing to do is give the money back to the quitter. That way, you are closing the door on her and any disputes she might want to raise later. I wouldn't even offer it to her. Either mail a check to her or have a neutral party return it. Keeping the money and using it will only cause you problems with this person. Trust me! |
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nova_queen_282058
Joined: 18 Mar 2008
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 3:18 pm Post subject: bridemaids not getting along...? |
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| i would ask her if she expects it back because the last thing any one wants is to get sued over it and since people are sue happy nowadays it wouldn't surprise me if she did that. |
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rapnroc
Joined: 24 Apr 2008
Posts: 3
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| Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 4:13 pm Post subject: bridemaids not getting along...? |
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| If she didn't ask for the $ back and is the cause of the bridemaids not getting along, don't give the $ back to her. She doesn't deserve it. Use it towards something else. :)Good luck! |
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patricia
Joined: 20 Mar 2008
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 5:08 pm Post subject: bridemaids not getting along...? |
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| I really think you all should offer the money back to her. |
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Rocker
Joined: 02 Dec 2007
Posts: 6
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| Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 6:03 pm Post subject: bridemaids not getting along...? |
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| You need to give the money back to the gal that backed out of the wedding. She stepped down and regardless of who began the drama, she should get a refund. Most likely this situation has soured her opinion of everyone and offering her money back would at least alleviate that a bit. Keeping it is just going to make everyone look petty.Pick a representative who may not have been involved in the situation to contact her and make arrangements to send a money order to her. Best wishes!!!!! |
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pinky01217581
Joined: 26 Nov 2007
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 6:58 pm Post subject: bridemaids not getting along...? |
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| Take the high road and just give the money back. Are any of the bridesmaids still close with the one who dropped out? If so they could give it back. If no one is close to her I suggest the maid of honor. |
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