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Jennibean3894
Joined: 20 Jan 2008
Posts: 4
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 Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 8:39 pm Post subject: Bridal Showers for Destination Weddings? |
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| I have been reading on the knot.com that if you have a destination wedding than you forfeit a wedding shower. Now here is my question. I invited over 200 people to my wedding. About 65 are coming mostly close friends and a few family members. Alot of my family on both of our sides cannot make it due to small children and extra expenses which is totally understandable. But they keep asking about a party im having here. Would it be appropriate to still have a bridal shower and then tell the ones who are coming to the wedding not to worry about a gift? I still want to have something to include the ones who cannot come etc. but I don't want to seem like a gift grubber, I just want the people who can;t make it to still feel included in the festivities. Any advice. (p.s. I am not throwing an extra party for all those who cant attend bc thanksgiving is the following week and i will see them all then) Bridal shower or no? |
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honeybitch
Joined: 26 Nov 2007
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 11:35 pm Post subject: Bridal Showers for Destination Weddings? |
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| You would have a shower only with those invited to the wedding ceremony and reception. You are making choices, so there are some consequences to those. |
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iloveweddings8531
Joined: 03 Dec 2007
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Sat May 31, 2008 2:31 am Post subject: Bridal Showers for Destination Weddings? |
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| Your bridal shower isn't your concern. Polite, non-greedy brides don't plan their own showers nor do they ask mom, the MOH or anyone else to plan one for them. It gives the appearance of extreme greed for one to throw a party for themselves where the object is to shower oneself with gifts. (You don't sound greedy to me, but you would appear that way should you throw your own shower or ask someone to throw you one.) The issue of whether or not you should have a bridal shower is completely up to whomever might plan one for you. |
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fhotoace2970
Joined: 02 Dec 2007
Posts: 3
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| Posted: Sat May 31, 2008 5:27 am Post subject: Bridal Showers for Destination Weddings? |
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| I think it is fine to have a shower, or you could have a party when you get back, which would also be nice because you could share the experience of the wedding with the people who couldn't be there. As far as gifts. If people can afford to get one they will and if they can't they won't. I don't think you should even address it. If you don't want gifts you could always do donations to your favorite charity. |
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Honeybee3661
Joined: 12 Feb 2008
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Sat May 31, 2008 8:23 am Post subject: Bridal Showers for Destination Weddings? |
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| They want to celebrate with you and that's perfectly understandable. Have you considered having a Bon Voyage party prior to leaving for your destination wedding? I don't think I would do a shower, because then you would be eliminating the men from the guest list. I realize that they do couples showers these days, but many men (especially in the over 30 crowd) still don't care to attend anything that is called a "shower". The men in my life thought my cousin was crazy for participating in a couples shower and skipped the event because "men don't attend showers".In any event, a Bon Voyage party would be a nice excuse to get everyone together to celebrate before the wedding and wouldn't interfere with Thanksgiving. You could have it at a hall or just an open house in someone's home. It doesn't need to be a huge expense. Just serve cake and light refreshments.Best wishes!!!Edited to add: And I'm not implying that this lady is planning her own bridal shower. I'm operating under the assumption that someone has already offered to throw her a shower. In my own experience, I've had more than a few offer to host a shower for me, so I doubt she will even have to ask anyone to host it for her. |
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DDeviss
Joined: 30 Oct 2007
Posts: 4
Location: USA
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| Posted: Sat May 31, 2008 11:19 am Post subject: Bridal Showers for Destination Weddings? |
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| Have a party after you return....to have a bridal shower when you have decided to have a style of wedding that excludes many people due to travel expenses and distances , to expect them to fork over a shower gift because your wedding choice excludes their attendance is very rude IMO....if you have a celebratory party afterwards it will take some of the sting out of them not being able to attend the real deal...and it makes a gift optional & up to them......showers are for gift giving anyway, and usually the ladies only. |
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JackArse
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 8
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| Posted: Sat May 31, 2008 2:15 pm Post subject: Bridal Showers for Destination Weddings? |
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| Ms X is right, the shower isnt up to you. Someone will throw it for you, so its out of your control really. But if a potential host is asking if you would like a shower, I see no harm in saying yes. Just keep the guest list as small as you can, to avoid appearing like a gift-grabber. |
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