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I sent a check for a wedding gift and it was cashed before t
 
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HeatherBullardPhotography



Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 2

PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2008 4:03 pm    Post subject: I sent a check for a wedding gift and it was cashed before t Reply with quote
I sent a check with my rsvp of being unable to attend a wedding. The couple cashed the check over one month before the wedding. The groom called off the wedding 4 days before the ceremony. Should I ask for my money back? How much time should I wait if I should ask for it back? He is my first cousin and called it off and has more money than he can count!
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Draddence



Joined: 24 May 2008
Posts: 1
Location: Netherlands

PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2008 6:01 pm    Post subject: I sent a check for a wedding gift and it was cashed before t Reply with quote
you should send him a "dude, you called it off, good for you, now give me money back" card...they sell them at hallmark!
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Jenny2790



Joined: 06 Apr 2008
Posts: 5

PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2008 7:58 pm    Post subject: I sent a check for a wedding gift and it was cashed before t Reply with quote
I would ask for it back from him in person, he called off the wedding, and it's only right to make restitution.
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doleGrersecefrmq



Joined: 17 Jan 2008
Posts: 5
Location: Armenia

PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2008 9:55 pm    Post subject: I sent a check for a wedding gift and it was cashed before t Reply with quote
WOW, that is a good question but I think your going to have to bite the bullet. Although good manners would dictate that the money be returned.Maybe next time wait until after the wedding.
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iloveweddings4549



Joined: 24 Jan 2008
Posts: 4

PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2008 11:53 pm    Post subject: I sent a check for a wedding gift and it was cashed before t Reply with quote
I would definitely ask for my money back. It was a " wedding" gift and there was no wedding.
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Innocence



Joined: 24 Nov 2007
Posts: 12

PostPosted: Sat Jun 07, 2008 1:50 am    Post subject: I sent a check for a wedding gift and it was cashed before t Reply with quote
I would think that you are surely entitled to get it back, but is it worth causing a rift in the family? You might could send a note to each of them telling them you are sorry that it didn't work out and mention that you would like your gift returned.
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dbrcymry



Joined: 12 Feb 2008
Posts: 2

PostPosted: Sat Jun 07, 2008 3:47 am    Post subject: I sent a check for a wedding gift and it was cashed before t Reply with quote
You don't say how long ago the wedding was suppose to take place. If it was just recent, then I would give it time. As for asking for it back, that's a tough one. I would hope they have the decency to send it back but I wouldn't count on it. Maybe if you see your cousin, you could in some way ask what they did with the wedding gifts. But if it were me, I would probably let it go, even as unfair as it sounds.Maybe they'll get back together and then you can send a card saying, "Hope you enjoyed my wedding gift"!
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Jay



Joined: 18 Mar 2008
Posts: 2

PostPosted: Sat Jun 07, 2008 5:45 am    Post subject: I sent a check for a wedding gift and it was cashed before t Reply with quote
This is a very good question. I think you should wait at least 30-45 days before asking for the money back. Give them time to grieve the end of the relationship, pick up the pieces, and start doing the things they're supposed to, like returning the gifts. Then, after an appropriate time, if they haven't returned the money and you're close to your first cousin, you could ask him directly if they're returning presents (which should be enough to jog his memory about your present). If you're not close to him, you could ask ask his mother/sister/close female relative how he's handling the returning of presents, and casually mention that you haven't received the money back that you send them.Although it's not required that they return the presents (it's just good manners), you're entitled to at least know how they're handling the issue. Just be sensitive and understanding that this has to be hard time for your cousin and the gift issue is probably the last thing on his mind.
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EnuroTarmum



Joined: 30 Mar 2008
Posts: 2
Location: World

PostPosted: Sat Jun 07, 2008 7:42 am    Post subject: I sent a check for a wedding gift and it was cashed before t Reply with quote
i would wait a few months, i bet they will send all gifts/money back to people.
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Fonz



Joined: 31 Jan 2008
Posts: 5

PostPosted: Sat Jun 07, 2008 9:39 am    Post subject: I sent a check for a wedding gift and it was cashed before t Reply with quote
Normally I would say that you gave a gift, and even though they are supposed to return all of them if the wedding is cancelled, you are just out that amount. That there's not really anything you can do about it.However, since it is your cousin, and you know he was the one who called it off, and he doesn't need the money, I would call or talk to him & ask it like this:"So, do you need any help returning the gifts? Have you taken care of that yet, or is she doing that?".See what he says. Maybe she is doing it, and just can't bring herself to handle it yet, b/c she's upset. Or maybe he has started doing it, but just hasn't gotten around to your check yet.The more probable answer is that he just doesn't know you are supposed to do it. Many people don't. So, you can school him in this.
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