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help me... MIL from he!!?
 
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26FlueliZed



Joined: 20 May 2008
Posts: 10
Location: Czech Republic

PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2008 3:31 pm    Post subject: help me... MIL from he!!? Reply with quote
ok, so next saturday is my and my fiance's engagement party.. only 26 people were invited and i rented a place for 30 well my fiances mother called me... asking if she could invite her "fiance" (who i have never met) then told me...well i already invited him... why bother asking?!!!!! well my fiance has a lil sister shes 15 well his mom asked if she was gonna be on of my brides maids..and hte answer is no... it never even crossed my mind.. its not that i dont love her... juss never thought of it.. but the answer is still no.. and she told my fiance about how rude it was of me not to have her in th wedding..and he practically chewed her out...and told her it was our wedding and we were paying for it and she had to deal...well if she says anything about this guying being her "fiance" at OUR engagement party.. do i have the right to say something to her about saying something bout her "ENGAGEMENT" at our engagment party? and how would you handle her rudeness!yes... she has always been rude to me... and my faince can stand his mother... she always calles him with BS and whines to him about crap...he doesnet like her... bc she has always lied to him.. and is very disrespectfull to everyone!!!!!
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1sttimemommytobe07



Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 52

PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2008 5:34 pm    Post subject: help me... MIL from he!!? Reply with quote
Just ignore her- enjoy you special day. Dont let her get to you. She is ignorant & impositional... atleast your fiance is on your side!
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14SlomoFumrailm



Joined: 24 Mar 2008
Posts: 12
Location: Togo

PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2008 7:38 pm    Post subject: help me... MIL from he!!? Reply with quote
I think that MIL issues stem more from the child of the MIL than from the MIL. Your fiance needs to set some boundaries and clarify her place in your lives. He probably has no idea how to do this since it's already at this stage of the game. Seems like a heart-to-heart is in order. I find that many sons don't know how to divide their loyalties to the two women they love. The fact remains that your marriage means that he has to be loyal to you first. This is an adjustment for him and his mom. Be patient with him.It is a must-do prior to kids, please believe me. You will really want to know that your hubby is on your side.
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25Holerottjoita



Joined: 06 Jun 2008
Posts: 11
Location: Algeria

PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2008 9:42 pm    Post subject: help me... MIL from he!!? Reply with quote
i have the same thing with MIL wanting her partner at the wedding who i have never met they have been together for 2 seconds so to speak, i dont get along with my mother in law but i looked at from the shoe on the other foot and invited him anyway, its not going to hurt anyone,plus i know exactly where your coming from with the MIL daughter not in the bridal party my MIL said because shes not my bridesmaid then my partner can have her on his been she got a no to this she said she will just tell her to wear a really nice dress and join in the bridal party anyway, i was unimpressed to say the least, but been she is his only sister we are having both our only sisters signing as witnesses so she is still involved, i know this doesnt help you much as she is to young to sign but just letting you know i know how you feel and i dont think you are mean not having the little sister on the bridal partybest of luck i hope the wedding planning is better for you
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21erurgeSuesypE



Joined: 09 Mar 2008
Posts: 19
Location: Ireland

PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2008 11:46 pm    Post subject: help me... MIL from he!!? Reply with quote
I think there is more to it that this, as she doesn't sound the WORST.as someone said before, its your FH that needs to stand up to her, the guy needs to stand his ground, and make it known to her that YOU are the number one lady from now on, he still oves, respects etc, but he has chosen you.My FH is a mommys boy, but luckily so far its not been a problem, infact it can help (when I tell him something over and over he will disagree, until his mom tells him the exact same thing... you can make it work for you!)
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23jouxurbibia



Joined: 23 May 2008
Posts: 14
Location: Philippines

PostPosted: Sat Jun 07, 2008 1:49 am    Post subject: help me... MIL from he!!? Reply with quote
Trust me. You are not mature enough to be getting married.
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1Hoorriera



Joined: 21 Mar 2008
Posts: 11
Location: Virgin Islands

PostPosted: Sat Jun 07, 2008 3:53 am    Post subject: help me... MIL from he!!? Reply with quote
You're acting out and calling more attention to yourself being a brat than your MIL.Go to your engagement party and celebrate your event. If she says something about her "fiance", say congratulations.There's something to be said about taking the high road and not being a brat.
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19gaumbella



Joined: 03 Apr 2008
Posts: 12
Location: Namibia

PostPosted: Sat Jun 07, 2008 5:57 am    Post subject: help me... MIL from he!!? Reply with quote
Get used to it. she wont change after you are married. You ened to roll with the punches and deal somehow! If you have room for her "fiance" then ler bring him. You can always tell her its already been finalized so she will ahve to pay for him.As for the bridal party and the little sister, you dont ahve to deal with that. You tell her as much as you'd like to there you already picked the bridal party. She could always doa reading or something.In the end its his mom so he should have to deal with her, not you! Have him talk to her!
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16endeareruct



Joined: 01 May 2008
Posts: 9
Location: Liberia

PostPosted: Sat Jun 07, 2008 8:01 am    Post subject: help me... MIL from he!!? Reply with quote
Family drama always stinks. Personally, I would assign a close friend (someone who has no ties to his family, though) to reign her in when necessary. Unless she really flies off the handle and starts irritating other guests, you really can't say anything until after the wedding. However, a third party acting on your behalf is perfectly acceptable.As for the 15 year old sister, it would have been a nice gesture, but is by no means required. A 15-year-old might be unpredictable when it comes to wedding events, however, and it might get awkward when if she decides she should have been invited to your bachelorette party...
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