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BOYCOTTISRAELTHEIRFRIENDS
Joined: 24 Jan 2008
Posts: 12
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 Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 3:35 pm Post subject: Do you think it's bad etiquette to take a boxed gift to a we |
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| Would you be offended if someone brought a gift to your wedding?I was just reading on theknot.com's etiquette section. They were listing wedding guests' biggest etiquette blunders, and one of them was taking gifts to the wedding location (instead of having them shipped to the couple's address). They wrote:"Bringing anything bigger than a check is simply an inconvenience. When a guest arrives with a boxed toaster oven or bath towels, it means someone else will be driving around town delivering the goods post wedding. Be sure to include a shipping address on your registry so people can send gifts directly to you."I will be getting married in 8 days, and I am personally looking forward to seeing the gift table piled high with tulle-covered boxes -- it's festive. Yes, I know my dad will have to cart them home in his truck, and we will have to pick them up from him after we get back from our honeymoon. But how can one find a gift-bringer offensive?What do you think? |
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bountifiles7866
Joined: 13 Dec 2007
Posts: 11
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| Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 3:56 pm Post subject: Do you think it's bad etiquette to take a boxed gift to a we |
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| I think bringing a boxed gift to a wedding is fine. Every wedding I have been to has a gift table, not a card or money table... I dont see how it is a faux pas at all to bring gifts. Im sure when the happy couple registers for gifts its not because they expect to get checks! |
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BradyG
Joined: 17 Mar 2008
Posts: 14
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| Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 4:17 pm Post subject: Do you think it's bad etiquette to take a boxed gift to a we |
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| Well sure, it would be great if you didn't have to tag someone to haul your presents home - but the chances of everyone paying for shipping for a present they went out and bought in person is slim to none. Sometimes Carly (from theknot.com) can be a little strict, lol!I'm an event director and, except for the venues that don't allow gifts to be brought in, there's been a gift table at every event I've planned. Enjoy the process and enjoy your gifts! |
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boxofrain
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 18
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| Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 4:37 pm Post subject: Do you think it's bad etiquette to take a boxed gift to a we |
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| I don't see how it could be offensive. I wouldn't be offended if someone brought a gift to my wedding, cause most people expect it.I think sometimes it's offensive for people to ask for money instead of a present, but not asking for presents to be brought to your reception.My sister got married in April & just about everyone brought a gift. Like you said, You look forward to seeing a big pile of presents on your wedding day.Good luck for your big day. |
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bountifiles7866
Joined: 13 Dec 2007
Posts: 11
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| Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 4:58 pm Post subject: Do you think it's bad etiquette to take a boxed gift to a we |
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I think it all depends on who is getting married and their personalities. For me, I am so laid-back and so not into etiquette that the idea of someone bringing a gift to my wedding was exciting rather than offensive, and when I read the same thing on theknot, I was shocked, thinking that I don't know anyone who would be offended. I personally think that if you are offended by someone offering you a gift, you are a snob and don't deserve the gift to begin with!!! Lol  |
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bountifiles7866
Joined: 13 Dec 2007
Posts: 11
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| Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 5:18 pm Post subject: Do you think it's bad etiquette to take a boxed gift to a we |
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| It's another custom from an earlier time, practiced by the idle rich. The gift giver called upon the bride at her parents house where she was living, gift in hand. They were seated and entertained with chit chat, they admired the other presents, they were served food and drink, were introduced to others doing the same, and left. The bride even put out the word when she would be recieving guests, and there were certain hours during the day that were reserved for dropping by and visiting. It is still a custom, though not as widely practiced, since we do not stay in the same community where we were born and raised. and in these days when brides work for a living, often right up untill the ceremony, she probably would not even be there. So, one does not take the gifts to the wedding ceremony at all, ever, they are taken to the reception venue. There should be a place for them. And yes, they can be mailed shipped, delivered, or hand delivered to the bride's house, but same thing, who is going to be there to recieve them? I gave the last bride a card with money and a gift cetificate in it, and I had to admit, I was grateful I did not have to lug a big box into the reception hall, or go pick out a present, pay for wrapping, wrap it. I put the envelope in my purse, and there it stayed until we went into the room for the reception, and I just slipped it into the card box. But I am with you, I like to see presents, I love to open them, I can't imagine a reception without them. They are festive, and a smart bride would have delegated someone to take care of them. And maybe even guard them, since theft at a wedding these days is a problem. Be sure and give your Dad a smooch for getting the gifts to the truck and taking them home, bet he will make a lot of trips to the truck with all of your stuff. I do not think giving a wrapped gift is offensive, but if you listen to people here, you know that others do. They want money, and do not want to take unwanted presents back to the store, or lug them home after the wedding. I do understand that these days, the bride and or groom come from an established household, and already have a lot of things. I can only think of a couple reasons that are not rude to ask that people do not bring wrapped gifts, or that gift giving would not be appropriate, and that is for someone who will be living in a teeny apartment with no space, or some sort of situation where the bride and groom will be leaving the area, like he is being deployed to Iraq, and she will be living at his home base, or some similar situation, like they are relocating for a job. Gee, it has not been that long ago that giving money to the bride and groom was considered to be in poor taste, and the priveledge was reserved for those getting on airplanes to come to the wedding and therefore could not bring big packages, or for close relatives giving large sums of money. |
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bountifiles6077
Joined: 08 Mar 2008
Posts: 7
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| Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 5:39 pm Post subject: Do you think it's bad etiquette to take a boxed gift to a we |
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| I think theknot was a little harsh on this one. You just use common sense. If the bride and groom live in town or have drove in their car, there is no problem with boxed gifts. Its not an inconvenience. If its a destination wedding, sending the gift to their home would be easier for them and you. It just depends. |
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boxofrain9442
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 22
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| Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 5:59 pm Post subject: Do you think it's bad etiquette to take a boxed gift to a we |
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| Unless the bride and groom specifically say "no gifts we have a wishing well" or something to that effect you have every right to bring a gift along with you, thats why most places set up a gift table.I think theknot.com is really just suggesting an idea...they have no place to say what people like... it looks nice having a table full of nicely wrapped boxes and presents.It depends on their bride and groom really at the end of the day. but a gift is a gift whether its given to them at the reception or sent to their home. |
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Bownthini
Joined: 18 Dec 2007
Posts: 8
Location: Guyana
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| Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 6:20 pm Post subject: Do you think it's bad etiquette to take a boxed gift to a we |
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| I think "theknot.com" has their panties in a bunch and that they are very mistaken. It is totally appropriate to bring a gift to the wedding (preferably the reception, specifically). |
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bountifiles7866
Joined: 13 Dec 2007
Posts: 11
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| Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 6:41 pm Post subject: Do you think it's bad etiquette to take a boxed gift to a we |
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| What? Who doesnt bring a gift to a wedding? I've never been to wedding where there was only a pile of cards. That was silly. I liked seeing the gifts. In fact, I think I only got one in the mail. |
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bountifiles3910
Joined: 13 Dec 2007
Posts: 25
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| Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 7:01 pm Post subject: Do you think it's bad etiquette to take a boxed gift to a we |
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| Of course not.I've never heard anything so stupid as that quote from the knot!Part of the excitement of the wedding is getting physical gifts, especially if one doesn't have a registry (which we didn't).We always take our gifts to the reception when we attend weddings! |
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Braifsnaf
Joined: 12 Apr 2008
Posts: 14
Location: Peru
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| Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 7:22 pm Post subject: Do you think it's bad etiquette to take a boxed gift to a we |
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| No, not at all. How can a gift be in bad taste? That is just silly! I agree. Every wedding I have ever been to has a gift table and I will have one at mine. Just be sure to put it far from the door at a very visible spot so people don't rob you blind. Seriously, it happened to a friend of mine. |
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bountifiles3910
Joined: 13 Dec 2007
Posts: 25
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| Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 7:42 pm Post subject: Do you think it's bad etiquette to take a boxed gift to a we |
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| no of course not. tons of people bring gifts to weddings. |
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braida
Joined: 14 Apr 2008
Posts: 9
Location: USA
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| Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 8:03 pm Post subject: Do you think it's bad etiquette to take a boxed gift to a we |
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| Isn't that half the fun!? Seeing all those beautifully wrapped presents and trying to guess what's in them?! Fun for all ages! I expect plenty of boxed gifts at my wedding, it's something our family has always done... I certainly don't find them offensive! The funniest present my brother and SIL received 2 years ago was a box full of $200 in PENNIES! I went to load that box in the car and said--"need a couple guys please!!" We all guessed and pondered what could be that heavy yet be so small--kept us going for 23 hours until the bride and groom opened it! |
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Braeshotol
Joined: 04 Jun 2007
Posts: 23
Location: Mexico
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| Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 8:23 pm Post subject: Do you think it's bad etiquette to take a boxed gift to a we |
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| No that is not bad etiquette. Where I am from, no one gives cash gifts. There is always a gift table at the reception. If someone truly gets offended over a tangible gift being brought to the wedding, they have bigger issues to deal with. |
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