|
|
Appovaroadyiho
Joined: 10 Mar 2008
Posts: 2
Location: World
|
 Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2008 10:41 pm Post subject: I have a pushy mother in law...HELP!? |
 |
|
|
| My husband & I just got back from our Honeymoon & we have a family wedding (his side) this weekend. As a bit of background info, his mother is incredibly pushy & rude. She didn't even look at me at the wedding. She constantly causes issues & is rude to me and my family but always in a way that my husband doesn't see (makes faces behind his back or denies saying things or changes the story). Now that the wedding is done I was really looking forward to living again without parents nosing into our business. Well she has come up with another master scheme to keep her son closer to her and now we are staying over at their place on the Friday night before the family wedding. We had planned on going together, but I don't see why we need to stay there on the Friday, we only live 30 mins away! When I asked my husband why we were staying he told me I was being defensive. I know that it's an impt time in our relationship to "nest" and I feel like she's trying to drive us apart. Am I overreacting? |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
 |
applejuicefool
Joined: 19 Jun 2008
Posts: 3
|
| Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2008 11:33 pm Post subject: I have a pushy mother in law...HELP!? |
|
|
|
| You are still on your honeymoon as far as I am concerned. It is truly a shame you didnt work this all out with your husband before you were married since he obviously is still a mamas boy. You should be his first concern. Somehow I have the feeling that if you had it out with him and told him ' You need to make a choice between your family and your wife, that it would only escalate into a huge fight ( I get that from his ' being defensive statement which is accusatory to you) I do think you should at some point get him to agree with the experts who say nothing happens unless both parties agree. That means when his mom said to spend the night, he would not agree unless you agreed also.You know you are not going to have a good time. I would simply say, ' You know, you dont need me since you will be fulfilling your mother's every wish and so I want you to be able to concentrate on her like you have been so I wont be accompanying you' Do you think that would work for you? Or just simplify that statement so it isnt so sarcastic as I wrote it and say ' Im sorry, Im not feeling well' and stay home! |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
aperture642830
Joined: 15 Jun 2008
Posts: 3
|
| Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 12:24 am Post subject: I have a pushy mother in law...HELP!? |
|
|
|
| Haha no you are not! But you know mothers will never think anyone is good enough for their son. And you know how manipulative women can be!All you can do is take deep breaths.. juts be overly nice to her and it will just throw her, make her think she has her opinion of u wrong. x |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Apettyquegree
Joined: 24 Jul 2007
Posts: 13
Location: Panama
|
| Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 1:16 am Post subject: I have a pushy mother in law...HELP!? |
|
|
|
| I know that sometimes its hard...but I think you have to pick your battles...Ive been there and sometimes it's easier to go with the flow instead of cause tension. Make sure that you respect his family, and try to enjoy the time you have to spend with them. They are going to be in your life for a long time, so its better to try to keep the peace. As for you mom in law, sounds like she may not be completely fair to you, but I think if you try to give her every reason to love you, she cant refuse and she'll come around. I had the same problem, and I think when I finally gave in a got determined to make them love me, things changed. I changed my attitude, they changed theirs. Now, we actually have a great relationship. Good luck to you. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
apbanpos9743
Joined: 13 May 2008
Posts: 3
|
| Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 2:07 am Post subject: I have a pushy mother in law...HELP!? |
|
|
|
| Your husband needs to know that the ties on the apron need to be severed. He needs to step up to the plate. If you dont feel comfortable staying the night at your inlaws I would recommend that you dont. He needs to take your feelings intoconsideration. He may not see what you see. Tell him that you will meet him there. This seems to be the start of a MONSTER IN LAW. Buy her the movie. Good luck! |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
April
Joined: 24 Jan 2008
Posts: 22
|
| Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 2:59 am Post subject: I have a pushy mother in law...HELP!? |
|
|
|
| NO, you are not over reacting at all and your husband needs to confront his mom and be on YOUR side. She sounds like an intrusive busy body and lives to stir up trouble. This will only get worse if your husband doesn't get it under control NOW! I wish you the best! |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Appohepay
Joined: 11 Nov 2007
Posts: 12
Location: MN
|
| Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 3:50 am Post subject: I have a pushy mother in law...HELP!? |
|
|
|
| It's too bad that he doesn't see what his mom is doing. That's rough. Really, it's one night. You can get through it. Marriage is hard and you really have to choose your battles wisely. Make sacrifices and compromise. He obviously loves his mom, alot. Do it for him.Eventually,.....You'll have to wean him off of this, slowly but surely. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Apettyquegree
Joined: 24 Jul 2007
Posts: 13
Location: Panama
|
| Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 4:41 am Post subject: I have a pushy mother in law...HELP!? |
|
|
|
| I have a pushy mother in law too! She lives with us which make my life almost impossible ! The best advise i can give yo from dealing with this every day , dont let her know anything is bothering you . If your unhappy, upset about any little comment action or evil eye just act like your the happiest person on the planet. Belive me it will bother her! Its hard to deal when you cant really talk about the way your feeling because you may think people will think your petty, but your not ... Its your time you just were married , let her know that by showing how happy you are. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
FAQ
Search
Usergroups
Register
Profile
Log in to check your private messages
Log in
