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MelissaL
Joined: 11 Feb 2008
Posts: 10
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 Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2008 10:44 pm Post subject: When a wedding invitation says and guest with someone, shoul |
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| My sister was invited to our cousins wedding and her invitation says and guest! She wanted to bring her best friend who also knows the groom because she does not have a boy friend. The groom(our cousin) doesn't want her to bring her friend because there are other people he could have invited if she wasnt bringin this guest. who is correct?he only knows my sisters best frend because they went to the same high school. |
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MelB
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 31
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| Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2008 11:02 pm Post subject: When a wedding invitation says and guest with someone, shoul |
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| I'm not an expert on wedding etiquette, but in terms of general courtesy I'd say that your sister is right. If the invitation says "Ms Jane Doe and Mr John Smith" then it would be expected that she would bring John Smith to the wedding. If the invite says "Ms Jane Doe and Guest" then the "guest" is whoever the person whose name is on the invite chooses. If your cousin wanted to invite more people he should have budgeted for it, or not included "and guest" on the invite. |
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Melle
Joined: 21 Mar 2008
Posts: 6
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| Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2008 11:20 pm Post subject: When a wedding invitation says and guest with someone, shoul |
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| Totally considers the crowd. Some invitations infer a date while others to not. I would just call the mother of the bride or the organizer and ask. |
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mejhdupa
Joined: 30 May 2008
Posts: 25
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| Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2008 11:38 pm Post subject: When a wedding invitation says and guest with someone, shoul |
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| If the groom has requested that a particular gas not be brought then the grooms wishes should be honored. |
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melouofs0671
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 6
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| Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2008 11:56 pm Post subject: When a wedding invitation says and guest with someone, shoul |
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| I think that your sister is right on this one. The fact is the invitation said "and guest"It didn't say "and guest - but not your best friend or any other person we might not like"While most people usually bring a significant other to the wedding it is perfectly okay for them to bring someone else to accompany then. I had a few people at my wedding bring their close friends and not their signifcant other. They didn't want to attend alone - that's perfectly understandable. |
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mel7672
Joined: 27 Dec 2007
Posts: 27
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| Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 12:14 am Post subject: When a wedding invitation says and guest with someone, shoul |
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| Your sister.Although most people would think you would bring a date, you can bring a friend.The guest part is so you are not there by yourself and not have someone to talk with. |
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melissa1281
Joined: 12 Feb 2008
Posts: 34
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| Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 12:32 am Post subject: When a wedding invitation says and guest with someone, shoul |
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| Technically, the couple should never issue an "and guest" invitation unless they honestly want people to bring a guest. When you place "and guest" on an invitation you are allowing people to bring whomever they wish to the wedding and there is no way to control who they bring. The couple should have known this.With that said, what happened is that this naive couple expected people to bring significant others and didn't bother to go through their guest list to ask if people had significant others. It makes the couple look badly, so just have your sister tell her friend that she has had her "and guest" invitation rescinded. Again, your sister was correct in her understanding of "and guest", but the couple apparently does not understand it.Best wishes!!!!!!! |
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MelB
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 31
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| Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 12:50 am Post subject: When a wedding invitation says and guest with someone, shoul |
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| The person who is invited to bring a guest may bring any guest they choose. If the happy couple has a specific person in mind, that person should get thier own invitation. Your sister is correct. |
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MelB
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 31
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| Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 1:08 am Post subject: When a wedding invitation says and guest with someone, shoul |
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| I would say if someone sends an invite to "jane and guest" it is expected she would bring her boyfriend, but if she does not have one or if her boyfriend couldn't go for whatever reason, it is perfectly acceptable to bring a friend as a date. If there is some reason why the groom doesn't want her to bring this particular friend (they don't get on or something) then she should respect his wishes and bring someone else. If that is not the case then I believe your sister is correct. If the groom wanted to invite other people then he should have invited them and not allowed your sister to have a +one on her invite. |
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MelodyL
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 7
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| Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 1:26 am Post subject: When a wedding invitation says and guest with someone, shoul |
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| I think it's rude when people just bring anyone. When you get invited with an "and guest" it's a gesture from the bride and groom to bring a DATE. You are suppose to bring someone you can have a fun evening with, dance with and mingle with in a COUPLES type of way. Now, unless you're living an alternative lifestyle (like gay, bi, lesbian), I don't think it's right to bring someone of the same-sex.I agree with your cousin. Your cousin invited your sister with a date in case she had a special someone she'd like to spend the evening with. That does not include her best friend.I'm sure they made sacrifices to their guest list so that your sister could bring a special date. I'd be made too if someone RSVP (who wasn't lesbian, gay, bi) with a same-sex date.I would be upset if I were your cousin. One, there was probably a co-worker or neighbor they really wanted to invite. BUT, they took into account that your sister might have a special someone. So, I would be upset too, if I saw she was bring "just a friend" (remember, it's not your cousin's best friend). If she was bringing a date, that's fine. But, a friend.....no. It's rude. |
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meli
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 43
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| Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 1:44 am Post subject: When a wedding invitation says and guest with someone, shoul |
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| Maybe I'm the only person here who read this differently??? If your cousin was choosing who your sister could bring... that would be wrong... "and guest" means you can bring whoever you want.I'm thinking that maybe the cousin wants her to invite someone else because he is already friends with your sister's best friend... maybe she's already invited??? So maybe he feels like he's wasted an invite on your sister's guest if she's bringing someone that he's already thought to invite?Maybe I've read into it too much... but that would be my thought. |
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mel7672
Joined: 27 Dec 2007
Posts: 27
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| Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 2:02 am Post subject: When a wedding invitation says and guest with someone, shoul |
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| If this person also knows the groom then if he wanted her at his wedding she would've had her own invitation. |
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meistyl
Joined: 07 May 2008
Posts: 25
Location: Россия
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| Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 2:20 am Post subject: When a wedding invitation says and guest with someone, shoul |
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| If the card says "and a guest" then it is the choice of the invitee who they bring. If the groom wanted someone else to come in the guest's place, then make room for those people by not having people be able to bring a guest or cut back on other people on the list. It's kind of stupid to tell someone they can bring a guest but only if the bride and groom get to chose who it is. |
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MelB7952
Joined: 02 Dec 2007
Posts: 25
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| Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 2:38 am Post subject: When a wedding invitation says and guest with someone, shoul |
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| If a wedding invitation says "and guest," it is up to the invited person who that guest should be. However, if the person she wants to invite was already on the guest list, each of them could bring another person and then all just meet up together at the wedding. |
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Melissa9427
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 29
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| Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 2:56 am Post subject: When a wedding invitation says and guest with someone, shoul |
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| i had a handful of people at my wedding that brought a friend as their guest. your sister doesn't need to tell the groom who she is bringing. she should have just RSVP'd for 2 people and then brought her friend. |
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