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Sweet28
Joined: 13 Dec 2007
Posts: 58
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 Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2008 8:11 am Post subject: wedding fever? |
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| I have been dating my boyfriend for 4 & a half years& it seems like everyday I come home I'm praying he pops the questions. Or get kinda upset when its bed time & he didn't. I hint about it proably alot more then I should & he gets mad (some times). Every song on the radio I think would I play that my wedding? Stuff like that...& If I keep this up I know I will drive him crazy too & there won't be a wedding.It seems like ever since my best friends wedding (that I was in) & 5 girls from work getting married.(I went to 2 of their weddings)Its just been non stop thinking about it.Every where we go friends/family ask why we aren't atleast enganged. I dont want to rush a wedding but in the next 2-4 years would be great! *he blames money on why he isn't asking...he doesn't want to go into debt to buy a ring (I understand that but still)I have picked out rings from 500-2000...he said I don't get to pick out the ring its from him so he gets to pick it out!yes we are living together have been for a year & 3 months...& at the time it was the best move for the both of us (I thought a ring would be soon & I did get a ring for xmas/my bday/ our 4 years but it wasn't the 1 I thought it was & when I opened it he was fast to say it isn't an engagment ring)..I have been staying a few nights a week at my parents house (saying its closer to work) The thing is he has made comments about his next raise at work but it seems like his review is always next month next month ( he is up for a major raise since he finshed school.) Between the 2 of us we make about $25 an hour. Plus his over time wage & he works alot of over time. If he gets the raise he should we will make about 28-29 dollars an hour between the too of us.we are 21 and 23...21 and 23 is not to young to get engagned or married! Plus it would a while before we said I do. |
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sweenceGove
Joined: 06 Mar 2008
Posts: 81
Location: Belarus
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| Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2008 9:06 am Post subject: wedding fever? |
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| Maybe let him know you would be happy with a couple hundred dollar ring. |
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sweenceGove
Joined: 06 Mar 2008
Posts: 81
Location: Belarus
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| Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2008 10:01 am Post subject: wedding fever? |
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| No proper answer will appear for you you did explain your self |
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swapnil90
Joined: 20 Mar 2007
Posts: 77
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| Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2008 10:56 am Post subject: wedding fever? |
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| How old are you? Are you both employed? I mean sometimes 4 years is a lot and sometimes (like if you were in high school) it isn't very long b/c you still aren't adults. The cost of the RING probably isn't what he means when he says that money is the issue. Marriage is expensive--especially if one of you has been living at home with mom and dad. How is your credit? Will it hurt the chances of him buying a house? Can you afford the downpayment on a house? Car insurance? Water, electricity, gas, car payments? There are a lot of expenses to being a married couple--not really the engagement ring. And if he is the type that feels you don't get to pick it out--don't mention it again. He will pick it out without you.But if you are an adult with a job and are sure this man is right for you, you've got to let this obsession go. It's always harder in summer when everyone else is getting married. But if you two have discussed marriage and you both know that is where the relationship is headed, it's up to him to decide when to propose. You can keep listening to the radio and wondering if that is a song you should play at the wedding--just keep it silently in your head.If you haven't had a serious talk about where your relationship is going, then I suggest doing that. After all it is very reasonable to put some deadlines on this. I'm not sticking for 5 years with someone who does not want to marry me. Do you see this relationship as serious and heading towards marriage? If he doesn't ever see you as the type he'd marry, better to find out now than much later.But if you have had a serious discussion about it (and I suspect you have) then you just have to be patient. He'll propose when he is ready. |
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swapnil90
Joined: 20 Mar 2007
Posts: 77
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| Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2008 11:50 am Post subject: wedding fever? |
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| The money thing is an excuse...poor college students get married all the time and even start having kids!He doesn't want to get married, that part is obvious....you just need to find out why. |
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Svaderopa
Joined: 08 Jul 2007
Posts: 107
Location: UK
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| Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2008 12:45 pm Post subject: wedding fever? |
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| I already know that most answerers aren't going to like this answer...sorry!But from reading your question it appears as if you are already living with him, is that correct? Well, if you are there is no incentive to marry you. Why should he when he's got all the benefits of marriage without actually having to commit? You should have held out for that engagment ring and wedding ceremony before moving in... |
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SvetlanaDoor
Joined: 11 Apr 2008
Posts: 61
Location: Russia
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| Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2008 1:40 pm Post subject: wedding fever? |
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| are you sure really want to get married and settle down because you're ready to and really really want to get married or you want him to pop the question because you're friends had just gotten married?you said it yourself, this started when your best friend got married and a number of girls you know from work tied the knot. have you really thought that maybe - just maybe, you just want the experience of having a wedding?have you ever thought that maybe, just maybe, your boyfriend is not yet ready to settle down??? due to financial reasons??be patient. discuss your plans for your future together, and don't pressure him. both of you need to be "ready" when you want to get married. if one of you is not - it will only cause frustration and resentment between the two of you. |
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SvetlanaEW
Joined: 28 May 2008
Posts: 45
Location: Russia
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| Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2008 2:35 pm Post subject: wedding fever? |
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| Either way, I think you are too young to worry about getting married right now. You have plenty of time, so stop all that hinting...it will happen when it happens. And just because some of your friends/ co-workers have gotten married, doesn't mean you're next. And I also agree with the above answers---Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free? Basically, I'm saying that "shackin up" is probably one of the worst decision you guys have ever made...you're already playing house and it would be same as being married except he doesn't have to commit and it ain't legal. I'm sure you knew this already though. Get your temperature down and get rid that fever. Give it time because you're really young and I'm sure your day with come when you least expect it. Maybe you should even consider getting your own place. The damage is done and now it's time to correct it. I do believe it's okay to shack up, but only AFTER you've gotten engaged. |
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