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RortUore
Joined: 02 Jul 2007
Posts: 12
Location: USA
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 Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 4:13 am Post subject: Destination wedding are they wrong? |
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| My co-worker just came back from a destination wedding and feel like she got screwed. A friend is planning a destination wedding someone told her it is pretentious of her. The reason is the couple of the family does not pay for anything since they get the wedding for free. Her family may feel like though “should” attend. However most people in her family when they are going on vacation do not go to an all-inclusive resort but now have to shell out all of this money meanwhile the couple gets a free wedding and this is their honeymoon . My co-worker said at the reception wine was not included and at the end she received a bill for the bottle of wine that her table shared, the table ordered it thinking it was included. She paid for it but was just mad that after paying for tickets hotel and time off work to an island she liked but did not love she felt screwed. Since it was an island she took more time off of work then if she was traveling to another state or something. Have you been to a destination wedding as a guest what are your thoughts? I know the bride & groom will say it’s the best idea ever but I would like to here from guest or a potienal guest.Hindsight is 20/20. Maybe I am confusing people I was talking to my good friend about her wedding plans she was thinking about doing an all-inclusive resort wedding her family told her it was a bad idea because the guest are paying for her wedding. Then my co-worker told me about the wedding she just came back from it was her sister’s wedding. She said if she had to do it again she would have told her sister she should not get the time off of work. She dropped 2K on a place she would have never gone to otherwise, then to get charged for the wine @ dinner which the couple did not have to pay for since the resort was all inclusive. My co-worker thought since the couple & her folks were getting wine it was included in that dinner only, she paid for it she just wish she used her vacation time for something else. |
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Rose1889
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 31
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| Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 5:01 am Post subject: Destination wedding are they wrong? |
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| I often thought about a destination wedding, though I knew if I did this, nobody would show up! So it was important to have all our family there. Unless you have family that can drop 2000 bucks at the drop of a dime, most likely destination wedding should be for elopements only. |
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Rose1889
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 31
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| Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 5:49 am Post subject: Destination wedding are they wrong? |
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| The bride and groom think of noone but themselves. They should marry near their hometown making it easier for parents and family & friends to attend & then honeymoon in the place of their choice. My friend added to it by scheduling her wedding for labor day weekend so now besides paying for travel, hotel, parking & the gift we have to suffer through holiday traffic. Destination weddings are for inconsiderate people. |
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Rose1889
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 31
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| Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 6:37 am Post subject: Destination wedding are they wrong? |
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| Most destination weddings are only the couples family and really really close friends not co-workers or friends you see once in awhile. I think they are a waste of money in my opinion, i'd rather guests bring me gifts for my new home if I ever get married. Your co-worker should have known beforehand what destination weddings are all about. So no they weren't really wrong. |
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rosaespinoza
Joined: 31 Jan 2008
Posts: 41
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| Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 7:25 am Post subject: Destination wedding are they wrong? |
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| First off, if you have a destination wedding etiquette dictates that you spring for the hotel room for your guests. So, that was the wedding couple's big mistake.Secondly, they WEREN'T obligated to attend. ESPECIALLY when they knew those things weren't being paid for - room, flight, etc.THIRD, it is the COUPLE'S day, not the guests day. It is their marriage, and their love for each other is really what it's all about. If a married couple only worried about family members they'd be in debt 50K for hosting something for everyone else that wouldn't even make the couple happy.With that said, we eloped to Hawaii and then held receptions for our friends and family when we got back. FYI, we're in debt 20K holding those stupid receptions that we didn't want. THANK GOODNESS we at least had the wedding we wanted - debt that was worth it because it made US happy! |
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RoseG
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 48
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| Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 8:13 am Post subject: Destination wedding are they wrong? |
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| I refuse to go to destination weddings. That's just my personal policy. I feel a wedding is a celebration to bring family and friends together. If someone is throwing a party then it's supposed to be about making their guests feel comfortable, not demand they spend their money and time to go to a place of your choosing.But of course the "it's your day do whatever the hell you want" mentality is how most people see it. Gawd, I think if I read "it's your day!" or "it's the couple's day they can do what they want" or "It's YOUR DAY Screw everyone else" I'll puke |
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roscoedeadbeat1818
Joined: 09 Mar 2008
Posts: 27
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| Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 9:01 am Post subject: Destination wedding are they wrong? |
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| No they are not. Not all destination weddings are all-inclusive. We are having a destination wedding, we live in NC are having the wedding in Florida and our Family is from MI and IN, we are paying for the usual things, however we wanted a beach wedding, and having a wedding out of state allowed us to keep a small guest list without hurt feelings because everyone still got to be invited. Also, it is always up to the guest discretion if they want to attend the wedding or not. Depending on wher ethe destination is some are much more expensive then others if they go international because there is passports etc. However, people also have destinations weddings and the bride and groom help guests pay for accomodations, food, etc. So no they aren't wrong. However, some people do them differently. But it is always up to the guest to decide to show and support the bride and groom taht day which ever way they decide to get married. |
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Rosebud
Joined: 24 Mar 2008
Posts: 32
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| Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 9:49 am Post subject: Destination wedding are they wrong? |
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| A destination wedding is definitely not for everyone. We considered it for awhile, but my fiance's family would have been unable to attend because their budgets do not allow for that kind of trip. My immediate family would have loved it and attended, but we decided to do a traditional wedding in our hometown so that all of the relatives could participate.If we had more family drama, then I would probably have done the destination wedding and just paid for his father to travel with us, but luckily we don't have too much drama. I don't think they are wrong by any means and would love to attend one for a close relative, but so far all of our relatives have decided to have local weddings. Now that's not to say that we won't travel for weddings. I've been to a number of weddings that required travel and it's never been a problem.Best wishes!!!!!!!!! |
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rosaespinoza
Joined: 31 Jan 2008
Posts: 41
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| Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 10:37 am Post subject: Destination wedding are they wrong? |
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| the whole point of having a destination wedding is to make sure that the people attending really want to be there. most people don't want joe schmo to come to the wedding just cause there's free alcohol (which is why most people go to weddings in the first place). destination weddings rule out people who go for the wrong reasons. people who attend them go to see the bride and the groom get married. |
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Rosebud
Joined: 24 Mar 2008
Posts: 32
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| Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 11:25 am Post subject: Destination wedding are they wrong? |
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| It depends. For some people who want their families there, then it's probably a bad idea. However, when you have two crazy families who are going to pull stupid stunts it's better to just go away. For the price we paid for our wedding/reception, we could have paid for those closest to us to attend our wedding at a destination. After the fact...we wish that's what we'd done!!! |
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roscoedeadbeat
Joined: 31 Jan 2008
Posts: 34
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| Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 12:13 pm Post subject: Destination wedding are they wrong? |
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| Destination weddings are always a debate. Some will say it is all about the couple and what they want while others will say you can't push it on others to spend tons of money.Ideally if the couple can afford to pay for those who attend there would be no issues but that is not usually the case.If you say those who can't afford it can decline the invite, you are leaving out that the Bride and Groom usually get offended.I know i would never have had a wedding where my guests had to pay. It just doesn't seem right to me but everyone is entitled to do what they choose. |
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